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| winter_solstice | 2009.05.28 - 05:34PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| I have been waiting esch thursday for the next chapter for a while now. I've really liked the story until this latest chapter. I was hoping Hermione would stay a pure adult for a little longer. I also think that instead of them going right into sex (which seems very misfitted in the story by the way,) Hermione should have done more research on being a pure adult with or without Severus's help so the reader would better know what that means. For we are just muggles to and would like to know the implications. Like Severus said anyone would want to bed a pure adult, but why. Could they possible get something out of it or something of power being made of it. Also if a pure adults blood is different as you say, shouldn't it have good potion making qualities. This last chapter through me for a loop. For me the story was devolping and then it seemed you got too anxious waiting the time to put in a sex scene which by the way was written very well. It was just out of place and takes a lot away from a great developing story. Author's Response: I realize that it's a number of chapters back now, but Hermione has already done every bit of research that she is able, and she shared all of that information with Harry (Chapter Four: The Research). As she explains then, there's very little that is known definitively about the full extent of a Pure Adults' powers/abilities. They're learning as much as you are as we go along. The fact that the person who takes a Pure Adult's virginity experiences an increase in power is explained by Severus in the first chapter. I definitely wasn't too anxious to put a sex scene into the story; it's the first proper sex scene I've ever posted and my *mother* is reading the story. If I could have avoided any sex at all, I would have done. ;) I believe, however, that it was an entirely reasonable way for the story to develop. For Hermione, it came down to her believing that having sex with Severus now would help keep him safe, and given the statements that he makes throughout the evening, she is left with the impression that this is her only chance with him. She seizes the opportunity, even if it isn't how she wanted it to go ideally. Severus has his own motivations for reacting as he has done, but since the fic is in Hermione's POV, I'm leaving those motivations to be explained in fic (eventually). Thanks for taking the time to leave a review. ^_^ | |||
| lissie1624 | 2009.05.28 - 05:10PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| Ouch.. shame on Severus! I realize that he's quite insecure and doesn't have the good sense to believe that Hermione actually cares about him, but he just ruined her first experience! She should be experiencing tears of joy, not sadness! The two of them still have a lot of issues to work through.. we all love snarky Snape, but this was a bit of bastard Snape here.. You did a brilliant job handling the awkwardness of the situation - I really felt Hermione's nervousness. I don't know that animagi can change their forms, but if they were able, it would be interesting to see what Hermione's form would change to now that she's no longer pure. And I wonder if she and Harry will still be able to communicate with Fawkes and with one another through mindspeak? I suppose I'll find out next Thursday :) Keep up the good work! Author's Response: LOL I think bastard!Snape is a pretty frequent companion of Severus's; he's definitely not a stranger to extreme responses to strong emotions. In a perfect world--if they could only communicate with one another properly, lol--it might have gone very differently, but they both have their weaknesses and their fears and their vulnerabilities, and that led to the mess at the end of the chapter. I'm delighted that the awkwardness/nervousness worked for you. You will indeed be finding out more about the consequences of what has happened in the upcoming chapters. Thanks for taking the time to review again. ^_^ | |||
| Leraiv Snape | 2009.05.28 - 04:59PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| To this point, I have very much enjoyed the interaction between Hermione and Snape. To be honest, I found this chapter...disturbing. Pure Adult or not, excuses to Voldemort or not, I think that the way Severus simply agreed to take a student's virginity is a bit out-of-character. And although the harsh morning-after is absolutely true-to-form, he was so awful and so immediately terrifying that it's a bit of a turn-off for me regarding his character. On a more positive note: the sex scene was simultaneously awkward, hysterical and passionate - so major kudos for that. That is one difficult combination to achieve, and a perfect first-time scenario. Probably not amazing sex, and Hermione's random thought processes added to their matched discomfort and excitement perfectly. I apologize if the first part of this review is harsh - I don't intend to insult. I'm still a huge fan of this story and I hope the next chapter soothes some of my worries. Til next Thursday. Cheers! Author's Response: Obviously, your gut reaction to this chapter is your gut reaction to this chapter, but I will attempt to give you a bit more insight into where I'm coming from with Severus (without giving too much away, because specifics of Severus's motivations will only be revealed in fic as they are revealed to Hermione since I don't want to spoil you). Severus is a man of extremes, as I'm sure you know, and reacting awfully when he's emotionally fraught (i.e. PoA) is an intergral--if not entirely desirable--part of his character. I'm with you that it's not how we want him to react, but as you say, it's true-to-form. It's not necessarily how he'd react a week later if he's had time to cool down/think logically/not be in bed naked with a student. It's nowhere near perfect, but it's not supposed to be. It's nice to hear that the sex scene worked for you and that you're going to continue reading. It's important to me to have really solid moments of tension, misunderstanding, and horrible/bad/imperfect because I think that's the only way to be true to my (JKR's, lol) characters. Thanks for taking the time to review again. ^_^ | |||
| Maggie | 2009.05.28 - 04:18PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| Holy Ouch Batman!!!!! Author's Response: LOL Not ideal, I know, but the poor dears don't live in an ideal world, and these things take time and hard work. Thanks for leaving a review. ^_^ | |||
| curikitten | 2009.05.28 - 03:32PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| Ow. Oh geez, ow.
That's got to be the most painful... Okay, I think discovering infidelity would be more painful, but this is a close second.
Stupid Severus. As an adult, it's his job to get past all that childhood trauma and learn to be an emotionally functional human being instead of being constantly on the defensive. I mean, really. Did he even once stop to think that he might be the one Hermione wants? No. He just assumed that he was a replacement. Hmmph. Insufferable lout.
Well done. I haven't had this emotional a reaction to a new chapter of any fic in a while. Author's Response: LOL Severus, past all that childhood trauma and an emotionally functional human being? Could such a creature ever exist? ;) I think he has a bad learning curve on that one, but there's a whole bunch of fic left.... Thanks for taking the time to leave a review; it's lovely to hear that the chapter affected you. ^_^ | |||
| orm irian | 2009.05.28 - 03:18PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| Gods, THAT was about the most painful thing I have ever read. They are SO STUPID!!! Author's Response: LOL Yup. I'd say if only they could read minds, it would be all sorted, but they're far too distrustful and Occlumency-inclined for that. ;) Thanks for taking the time to review again. ^_^ | |||
| Moyra | 2009.05.28 - 01:51PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| Oh no. No, no. What a bombshell. You had me there: I’ve never ever expected for H&S “to make love” this early in the tale (Btw, you did a wonderful job with that, spot on for both). But where was our level-headed Hermione? She, who always thinks everything through? Why did she give up her Pure Adult Status just like that, on the spur of a moment? Oh, and not to forget about Severus: he’s just an utter horrible git, provoking her to sleep with him and then doing his most to show his ugliest side. For her to come to her rooms and see the happy couple on the floor - another slap in the face. My heart is bleeding for Hermione, she must be deeply devastated. If there won’t be a big break-down, I don’t know what. --- On another note: how bad was it for you to write this last part of the chap? --- Some more questions are coming into mind: will their Patronuses change now? I gather she won’t be able to ride on a unicorn any more as well?!
Author's Response: I'm glad you found their love-making effective. As to how bad it was for me to write the last part of the chapter, do you mean everything going horribly wrong? ('Cause writing my first ever to-actually-be-posted-and-my-mother-is-reading-it sex-scene was horrible, lol). It was tough, but it seemed to me to be utterly in character with Severus and his knee-jerk reaction to emotional stimuli. Hermione is usually very level-headed but also a perfectly ordinary flesh-and-blood person. The situation she ended up in in this chapter was never the ideal encounter, but while it's sudden on the one hand, it's been hovering over her for months. The possibility of holding out for a time of her choosing was becoming more and more impractical (especially with Harry's ceasing to be a Pure Adult), Severus is being put in more and more danger (thanks to her cure and the missing Pure Adults), and she thinks he just offered to sleep with her because she's a Pure Adult (period). As far as she's concerned, this is where the logical train stops and she has to get off (even if it's not where the reader might think she should have gone). Your last couple of questions will be answered in fic in time. Thanks for taking the time to review again. ^_^ | |||
| MrsDarcy | 2009.05.28 - 01:51PM | 24: Twenty-Three: The Invitation | Signed |
| UGH. Snape is a prat and Hermione is too stubborn. I'm frustrated that they just didn't say how they felt.
Anyway. LOVED your writing, regardless. The sex was very nice. :) I look forward to next Thursday. Author's Response: LOL They are both very stubborn people, yes, and they don't always communicate very well. Glad you liked the writing and the sex, though. :D Thanks for taking the time to review. ^_^ | |||
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