Reviews for The Problem with Purity
| Jong_Kahn | 2009.08.13 - 01:26AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| You do realize that you have made Severus so goddam unsympathetic, I'm almost wishing he had gotten killed. Maybe Hermione will get killed herself, and then we won't have to be forever frustrated anymore. Someone else's review pointed out how increasingly unlikely it is they will get together. She may be right, at that. A "10" for all your action, but a "1" for emotional non-sustenance. |
| Amr | 2009.08.13 - 01:06AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| Thanks for the action-packed chapter. (I had to go back and re-read it immediately, since I rushed through it so quickly the first time.) I appreciate your getting Severus away and healed by the end, so we weren't in suspense for another week. ** I was right in guessing that the unicorn blood would figure here, but it didn't occur to me that Poppy would be able to detect its use, and tell Severus, so that he now thinks the rest of his life has will be cursed. If only Hermione had had the sense to explain to Poppy when she asked. (But I understand that she *was* frantic, and if she had, where would your story be?) Hopefully, Castina will explain now so that Severus calms down a bit. ** So we're left with Hermione, wandless, running as fast as she can in un-Masked unicorn form out of the Forest and away from Hogwarts. This won't be good, I fear. Will Severus try to find her?** Two picky questions: when does Hermione realize she's actually Stunned Voldemort? I know she's assumed that he's leading the torture, but you'd think he'd be distinguished more than just being one of "seven attacking figures." At least after she's got Severus stabilized. And second, who is supporting Hermione after she erases Severus's Dark Mark? ("She felt another presence wrap around [to] her....") Can Fawkes do that? He seems to be the only one who isn't actively attacking her here, except Severus, who presumably isn't awake yet. I must say, too, that I could skin most of them, but particularly Dumbledore and Remus, for their reproaches. Poor Hermione! She can't win. |
| greysky8 | 2009.08.13 - 12:58AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| I wish I was not so hooked on this story . Severus is a complete tosser and Hermione seems to think she's above EVERYONE. She should tell Severus to go stuff himself and attempt to make a life with Viktor. Aaargh! You can believe I'll be waiting to see how this all turns out! :) |
| joots | 2009.08.13 - 12:53AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| Wow. Oh man. I don't know what to say.... So glad he's alive- and that bit with the Malfoys was great. Intense chapter! Can't wait to see more.... i hope she's able to heal, and what about Severus? I'm glad he's okay, but, now i can't wait for them to have this talk that's coming. Oh man, once again, great job!! |
| Mai | 2009.08.13 - 12:49AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| You really did it this time. I read the chapter several times. It's one am and I can not get it out of my head. Everyone is clearly over-reacting. However, I can not imagine how Severus got it into his head that Hermione went to all this trouble just in order to extract a revenge on him for taking her virginity. I am guessing that Poppy and Albus figured out that he was given unicon blood to survive, but would it not have been so much easier for her to just let him die ? What she did was ridiculously dangerous and I just do not follow how Severus could have jumped to such a conclusion, but then he is Severus, right ? All that are my assumptions only. Now I will be thinking ot your story all week. I usually somehow manage to forget about it before Wedesday night, but this chapter was just unbelivable !!! Wow. |
| curikitten | 2009.08.13 - 12:42AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| Geez. Ow. In many ways. Of course I have the expected emotional responses to Severus and the rest being ridiculous. I'm glad Fawkes isn't being a jerk. But I actually wanted to say something else, because I know all too well how much I love being told things that can possibly be improved. So this is what it is: I hate, loathe, despise, detest and abhor in-text notes in a work of fiction. Unless the story is like JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL, which purports to be a history book, they have absolutely no place there, as they disrupt flow and pull the reader from the imaginary world. Author's notes can be placed at the end of a chapter without numeric notation and those who care to place them in context (or who were bothered by the things being noted) will determine to what they refer on their own. Failing that, repeating the referenced sentence in italics as part of the author's notes is an equally effective tool. Mechanics are the area I am most experienced in when it comes to writing, so I don't have a problem being firm about my position. By the same token, you are the author and your decisions stand. Until next time. |
| AmyLouise | 2009.08.13 - 12:37AM | 38: Thirty-Five: The Declaration (Part Two) | Signed |
| I sent you a pm regarding the Latin, but I guess you didn't see it.
You can't just put two nouns together like that; it makes no more sense in Latin than it would in English. 'Cognatio' is declined as 'Cognationis' (of the family),
so 'Consilium Cognationis' gives
you the phrase you want. |
| Nahtanha | 2009.08.13 - 12:29AM | 41: Thirty-Seven: The Mission | Signed |
| Dear me, that boy *really* has some anger issues. I'm starting to be afraid there will be no happy ending, because chances are he will get stabbed long before he pulls his head out of his behind. By me ;P Yet again am far too caught up in the story to comment on your craftspersonship, so I hope that counts as enough of a win! |
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