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| aurora borealis | 2009.09.03 - 08:51PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| I am probably the only one, but I find myself in sympathy with Remus rather than Hermione. Yes, his comment about Severus not coming to Hermione's rescue was rude. But considering how Hermione reacted when her "mate" was threatened, she doesn't seem to be able to put herself in Remus' place when he felt Tonks was threatened (granted, that was on a much different scale). If I knew a 17-year-old young woman, no matter how intellectually mature, with little relationship experience (in fact, no long-term relationship experience), who professed to be in love with a man twice her age, moreover, a man who was her teacher, with whom she would have had little or no personal interaction as an equal, a man who was contentious, sarcastic, vindictive, rude, and with no relationship skills of his own, then I would be quite concerned for that young woman. And if that 17-year-old said that she had made "an educated choice," made her choice "deliberately," and that her feelings were "permanent," I would shake my head over the folly and arrogance of youth and try my best to open that young woman to other possibilities. It probably wouldn't work - youth is convinced of its own superior understanding. But I would feel myself a poor friend if I didn't try. And I have to agree with those who felt this chapter bogged down a bit. The amount of detail and thought you have put into the Weresbane cure is amazing, but at this point, a little description goes a long way (sorry). | |||
| cassity282 | 2009.09.03 - 07:59PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| after reading some other revews on this chapter i must say i am absolutly baffeld by them! i love this story and the way you have focused on things surounding hermione and severus as well and hermione and sevrus themselfs.it makes for a compleatly imersing world that sucks me in and i am glad that you write evrything as you do. i realy do love this stroy and i cant wait for more! | |||
| a_reader | 2009.09.03 - 06:52PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| I have never ever left a review of this sort and have deleted three versions of it already. I find I can't continue with your story. It isn't that it's poorly written, it isn't that there has been little ss/hg, or that Severus is such an unmitigated prick. It's simply that, at this point, the plot has revolved around itself in so many spirals, with so many revisited plot points, and with so many amazing things that super-Hermione has accomplished. I'm just out of patience. Your Hermione coolly puts everyone in their place and can do everything seemingly but walk on water. Which is totally at odds with a woman who continues to profess love for someone who isn't a manipulative abuser, but who truly hates her. In some ways, *Hermione* is abusive toward those around her, because she tolerates no dissension with any of her decisions, actions or opinions. You are a good writer, I've avidly read each chapter, but it's more felt like treading water as time has gone on, with the rounds and rounds of unicorns, weresbane, animagus, severus-baiting, harry/draco fighting, weresbane, severus rescuing, harry/draco sex, wards, animagus, weresbane, unicorns, saving the universe. I think maybe I'll wait untill you are done, so I can breeze past my frustration and see how you resolve all of this. I think Hermione needs a comeuppance as much as Snape at this point. I'm terribly sorry. I've tried to be constructive as possible with my criticism. All the best. | |||
| Cybrokat | 2009.09.03 - 03:14PM | 43: Thirty-Nine: The Blood | Signed |
| And I apologize for the horrendous grammar in my last post. My only excuse is that it was apparently 6am. =) And I just mean I didn't finish it until the wee hours of my morning, not that it was so boring I fell alseep! | |||
| Green Aurora | 2009.09.03 - 02:56PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| I felt disappointed when I read this chapter; it was written well, as usual... it was detailed and clear, as usual... and it was devoid of meaningful Severus interaction... as usual. The thing that is different about this chapter is that I'm not totally confident that it was necessary- which is not at all usual. Now it's difficult to determine what the salient points of your story are when we as readers can only see it bit by bit without knowledge of future events, but I'm hoping that this will be a meaningful critique just the same... Your inner editor might need to poke her head out a bit and decide which plot points and interactions are most important both to the story and to you personally. I say personally because I believe writing is for the pleasure of the author as much or more than for the pleasure of the readers. After you've decided what parts are vital to you and you've expressed those parts in a way that is concise and still detailed, then you have a final edition of your story. This can be heart-rending in some cases. I say all of this to let you know that it is understandable to fall in love with certain passages and refuse to relinquish them, but mostly, and I mean this kindly, this chapter is weighing down the momentum of your story. On a positive note, I did have a moment of approval for Hermione when she basically tells Remus to "stuff it." I still can't wait for the next installment. Thanks. | |||
| Aflibble | 2009.09.03 - 01:35PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| I have been following this story for a while and must say that although I do not normally follow incomplete stories I am really enjoying reading this. please what ever you do do not abandon this story!!!! I like the idea of your watch I have a stone hinge sundial that I just love. | |||
| somebodyoranother | 2009.09.03 - 01:25PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| Little editing comment: "You know exactly you're doing" Fantastic & engrossing as always :) | |||
| JudithsFancy | 2009.09.03 - 01:06PM | 44: Forty: The Second Trial | Signed |
| This story rewards two characters (Hermione and Harry) for their extra abilities, courage, determination and intelligence. I look forward to each Thursday's chapter with pants and drools. Dumbledore's control over the situation is slipping because he tries to supervise and direct talents that are not his to control. Plunk you magic twanger Albus, cause your wand ain't doing the job. Meanwhile, Harry given the love and intimacy denied him in the past is beginning to grasp his potential; Hermione is dedicated to an almost impossible task of bringing light and hope to a pitiful group. A wonderful example of young adults instituting new paths to tread for all including some who seem to be stuck in an tenable holding pattern due to unwillingness to give up old ideas. As to Snape and Hermione...well, his mind abilities would be useful for animagus meditation, wouldn't it? But he's off in a snit, because he's also lost control of his personal life. Let's hope he finds that new path. I'm rating this as a ten only because there's nothing higher. JF | |||
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