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| compulsivelyObsessive | 2005.01.10 - 03:19PM | 6: Chapter Six | Signed |
| Silly Severus. He would hate being called silly but he is silly alot of the time. Cheeky succubus, being a tease and not showing up. I can't make this one longer because I'm dying to go on to the next chapter. Obviously that means a big thumbs up to you for making me randy for reading.
-cO
Author's Response: hehe! thanks! | |||
| Arwen999 | 2005.01.10 - 03:15PM | 8: Chapter Eight | Signed |
| Hi! I read until chapter 8 (when you hadn't posted the sequel), and I wanted to review before I read chapter 9 and 10 (I know how much it's pleasant when people review ^^ [but unfortunately, no one goes on Lumos, sniff]).
Ok, let's review now: I found the whole love passage very well written (in chapter 8 AND chapter 7). I also found Hermione's attitude very realistic: the fact that she's excited, scared, and a little reluctant at the same time. After all, how couldn't she be? A few authors forget this "scare" part and I think you pictured it very well. So I think your "very innocent Hermione" works here. As for Severus... I like the way you portrayed it too. So it's not anticlimatic at all! Now... it's sequel time! I'll be back soon. As soon as I'll read chapters 9 and 10! (P.S.: I'm French. Don't be bothered my the eventual mistakes). Cheers! ~Arwen999~^^ Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you are reading up. Chapter 11 should be up this evening. I'm guilty of not going to Lumos. I think I'll make my way over there now. Thanks for your thoughts! I'm glad they are coming out as I had hoped. | |||
| Horserider | 2005.01.10 - 02:33PM | 10: Chapter Ten | Signed |
| Loved it! The succubus rather brought to mind Aleera, one of Dracula's brides in Van Helsing, and being as I am also a fan of the Gabriel/Anna pairing that works for me very well indeed.
If JKR gave him that birthday, then that's what you should go with. His horoscope reads pretty apporopriately for the character, and I don't know why some folks are trying to make Hermione into a Libra...she's supposed to be September 19th, and that is Virgo. And a Capricorn male and a Virgo female go well together, so I don't see a problem. I like that you reworked your story to get his birthday in there. :) ~HR Author's Response: I've seen Van Helsing only once, but I do plan to buy the DVD at some point. Yay! I saw a picture once of an evil looking woman. She had freaky white eyes and hair, so I used that here. It was a brilliant pic actually. Then, I saw some kewl drawings of some sucubbi. They had wings and tails. Yikes! So, I put that in as well. | |||
| TRE | 2005.01.10 - 02:33PM | 1: Chapter One | Signed |
| This is good. I've done a bit of reading about Incubi and Succubi and this follows very well. They do slowly approach each night until they make it so far as to feast upon you. I like the idea of them existing in the magical world of HP. If HP's got ghosts then these are just as likely. However, I've never heard of them going hand in hand attacking together. As a plot device it works great. I also have never heard of them being particularly attractive or using their energy to disguise themselves as someone you are attracted to. Where are you getting your ideas about them? Books or online text? I've always thought them particularly disturbing, though not as disturbing as Old Hag Syndrome. *shudder* that one creeps me out! I also really like that you are deriving this from the old story of Merlin. That was a particularly good legend as well. Better stop talking and get back to reading! Author's Response: Well, to be honest, I'm pulling this from my twisted mind. I took what I had read on them, and then I decided to add my own story in with it. I figured it would be a tad interesting to have for a HG/SS fic. I think I put in my first chapter's notes that i'd be twisted it (duel visits, etc...). They are freaky though... Yep! I liked that story about Merlin. It's what caught my eye on the whole thing. Keep reading! More coming soon. | |||
| Nightbird | 2005.01.10 - 01:33PM | 10: Chapter Ten | Signed |
| I found this story yesterday and read it straight through to chapter 9. when I came back today, you'd already posted another! :) I really like this - you've got both of them in character and the incubus and succubus are unique. the lemons are very nice too. ;) Author's Response: Thanks so much! More to come in a bit. It's nearly approved by my darling beta. | |||
| Ezmerelda | 2005.01.10 - 01:31PM | 10: Chapter Ten | Signed |
| Wow! Three chapters updated all at once!
And very enjoyable chapters they were, as well.
Thanks for writing! ~"~ Author's Response: thanks! more coming soon. | |||
| fuchsiasteerpike | 2005.01.10 - 01:15PM | 10: Chapter Ten | Signed |
| Fantastic! I loved how you wrote succubus!Bellatrix, she reminds me very, VERY much of Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer for some reason... Author's Response: Thanks so much! I can see the succubus clearly in my mind. I had hoped to convey that to the readers. As far as Bella, that wench, hehe, I remember her little baby talk to Harry in the Order, so I snipped a bit of that for her. I have always seen her as an 'evil' woman though. I mean, poor Nev's mum and dad are proof enough of that. I'm not sure about this Drusilla. I think I might have to check her out. Grins! Thanks. | |||
| Betz | 2005.01.10 - 12:23PM | 10: Chapter Ten | Signed |
| There's more? Oh goodie, goodie, goodie! I liked the face off between the entity and them in thier dreams. What's next, wedding bells? Looking forward to more chapters. Author's Response: yep, more to come. no wedding bells just yet though | |||
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