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| pickles | 2005.06.16 - 12:18AM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| excellent chapter. yes you could stop here. good ending. but you know the consensus wants to know what the portrait mom has to say. an when he finally tells her face to face "I love you" which would happen after the baby is born. but my dear you do what you think is best. keep writing. put on some happy music... walking on sunshine by katrina and the waves... patty Author's Response: thanks, doll. I'm glad that you liked it. I'm gonna go on just a bit more. things have looked up for me a bit! xoxoxox | |||
| Azalea | 2005.06.13 - 07:16PM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| I've been enjoying your story! Your tone at the end of this chapter does seem like an ending, and as written it is a good ending. But I would love to see the baby born, and how he reacts to that. My vote is that you keep going, perhaps skipping some time, filling in what more has been revealed about the past. Author's Response: I think i'm going to add a few more chapters. I do have a few loose ends to time up even though I could end it. thanks for the input! more up soon | |||
| SeverusSnape | 2005.06.13 - 01:35PM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| This chapter was so great! Hopefully Severus can forget his crazy father. Author's Response: thanks! he will forget the man. I think that he now has only the future to look to. His past is finally being confronted. I'll add just a bit more. cheers!! | |||
| bellevoyager | 2005.06.13 - 09:20AM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| I think it needs a few more chapters, at least to see Hermione through her pregancy. But that is just my opion. Author's Response: thanks! I'm going to go on and add a few. Thanks for the input! cheers | |||
| Shib | 2005.06.13 - 04:15AM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| If you like the haunting sounds of those rammstein songs, you should try a song called "Freiflug" by Megaherz. It's simply lovely. It's in german, like rammstein songs, and it has a very rammstein sound. It's one of my favourite songs, and i absolutely ADORE rammstein. So LISTEN TO IT. it is gooood. Author's Response: oh, thanks! I will definitely look the group up. woohooo!! I appreciate the recommendation. | |||
| Betz | 2005.06.12 - 08:21PM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| Another wonderfully insightful chapter into Severus' character and his relationship with Hermione. Yes, one or two chapters more to wrap things up. I would like to see what his mother's portrait says to Severus. I would like to know if Severus has any future relationship with his mother's family and how close he becomes with them. Will his mother's family teach Severus how a family should interact and love one another openly, realizing this was how his mother once was? Yes, you could end this here, but I really want Severus to realize that his father regretted not telling his mother he loved her every day once she was gone. I want Severus to tell Hermione he loves her openly and freely and realize he's a braver and stronger man for it. I want to know how he feels when he finally says it without her saying it first. Author's Response: thanks, doll. I'm glad you liked it. I'm gonna go ahead with a couple of chapters to tie up everything. I will include what you have here. I think it only fair. teehee... xooxox | |||
| sully2 | 2005.06.12 - 06:30PM | 13: Serendipity | Signed |
| Well, I was worried his dad was going 'there' in the last chapter when the crypt was mentioned, and even though the Polyjuice was a little freaky, was relieved he wasn't visiting the crypt for other reasons. Now I find out that he did that too and we read it both when Snape and Hermione find the parchment--Double Squick! But, I really like the interaction between Snape and Hermione in the end, well written and a nice ending. Didn't you say that it seems like a good place to stop about 10 chapters ago--hehe. I think an epilogue might be nice, maybe after she has the baby and we can see their reaction. (You may be sorry that we all discussed longer reviews on PP...) :) Author's Response: Uhhuh... yuck. Glad Severus thinks it's gross. I wanted him to see how pathetic his father had become and how much he really did love his wife. I hope that Severus will learn from his father's mistakes. I'm gonna go on a few more chapters to be sure that's explained. (lol..i always say that huh??) | |||
| Barbara | 2005.06.12 - 12:31PM | 13: Serendipity | Anonymous |
| What began as a hot and racy one-shot has developed into a wonderful story, in which quite a lot of character developement has taken place. This would definitely be a good point to end the story; maybe an epilogue which would show Severus as a father, but it isn't necessary, because the story is wonderful rounded (I hope you understand what I want to say with this) the way it is. But as I enjoy your writing a lot, I do hope the muse will strike again soon .... Author's Response: Thanks, doll. I agree about the ending, but I feel I'll have to add a bit more to tie up some loose ends. I do appreciate the input. I have another WIP if you're interested. More up early next week for this one. | |||
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