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| bleu | 2005.01.09 - 11:16PM | 18: Remembrance | Signed |
| *whimpers* It hurts that this is the last chapter... It really is such an incredible story... Equal parts hot/steamy/racy/ohsosexy, wistful, suspenseful, funny and angsty... I love it to death, really... :-) You're a truly wonderful writer, and kudos to your beta as well... Rarely found any spelling/grammar mistakes... *thumbsup* Author's Response: Thank you so very much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it! My beta deserves many kudos, she rocks! You should have seen the first few chapters before she taught me the error of my fledgling writer ways! She has taught me so much; I shall never be able to thank her. Thank you for the very kind review! :) | |||
| bleu | 2005.01.09 - 05:51PM | 5: Cavalry of One | Signed |
| Absolutely Gobsmacked... Oh I do love that phrase... :-)
Enjoying this story immensely thus far, can't wait to get to the good bits...
Great writing! Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) | |||
| bleu | 2005.01.09 - 05:11PM | 3: Alone | Signed |
| "We could have a nice relationship, a nice home, nice children, and I could be oh-so-nicely bored out of my pleasant skull for the rest of my nice existence!”
LOL. I can just imagine her saying that! Can't wait to read the rest of this, it's going brilliantly so far!
:-) Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it so far! I was rather fond of that bit of Hermione's dialog when I wrote it. I'm glad you got a kick out of it as well! :) | |||
| Gloredhel | 2005.01.09 - 03:08PM | 18: Remembrance | Signed |
| Plaidpooka, since I truly couldn't remember what it was about Naked Journey that rubbed me the wrong way... I read it again. Well, I read the first half again, and then the rest for the first time. I stopped reading on chapter 9. At the time I was looking for a really good story HG/SS to read. I started many, and couldn't find a good one to get into that had a close enough characterization for Hermione and Severus and a decent plot as well, and I despaired of ever finding one. I began your story and enjoyed the beginning immensely (mmm... naked Snape...), but then when they just started wanking all the time in chapter 9, I had enough, and thought it was like all the others which descended down the slope of smut into utter plot annihilation. If only I had continued! It still kind of seems a bit too unrealistic for them to have such... stamina to go at it so much, but I suppose that's what's good about fiction. *sigh* Anyway, I feel an apology is needed for not giving your wonderful fic a second chance.
I am astonished this is your first story. I cringe when I think of my own first dabble into writing... it was not so well put together as yours, to say the least. I also tip my preverbial hat to your beta. It's so refreshing to read a story absent of countless grammatical mistakes and mix-ups with homophones. You both did an incredible job on this story; the new one as well.
If I really tried to think of something which could be improved in this story, if would have been to write out their teacher/student relationship before the Snape got naked. You explained about her 'detentions' to give them a bit of more personal history, but it seemed (at least to me, although I guess I'm a bit old fashioned) they jumped in the sack quite quickly. They were ready for it, of course given their history, but us as readers didn't go through that process with them, so it didn't seem sudden. Of course, what a better way to start off a story than with that accident, eh?
Usually such happy endings (even though Bob died, Harry and Ron accept the situation, she got the apprenticeship with Hawking (which was quite clever to make him and Einstien wizards, by the way), and Snape really changed, (which if done rashly can end up disastrous ---Snape turning into a bloody flower child or something in the matter of minutes from an impassioned romp or declaration of love---*shudder*) leave me dissatisfied: they just don't seem realistic. So I suppose not only am I old fashioned, I'm a bit of a cynic as well, lol. Yet the way in which they got to the happy ending was believable and handled nicely. And I'll admit: every once in a while I enjoy a good happy ending just as much as the next person.
Goodness, I can't believe I wrote so much. Ah well. There is one more thing I'd like to mention. Their original curse words were one of the funniest aspects of your story. I don't know if yours is the first I've read with such description of Nimue's undergarmets, but those deserved some recognition for not using 'Merlin's Balls!' as the only wizardly explicative. Alright, alright, no more! I thoroughly enjoyed your stories, and hope to have many more to come! Author's Response: Good gods and Nimue's sparkly pink G-string! Don't you dare apologize for writing so much, this self-proclaimed review slut eats it up, she really does! It was terribly kind of you to go back to NJ and give it another go, and to finish it as well. I admit freely that they might have hopped in the sack a bit early, but it does happen that way in real life sometimes. It might still be a bit out of character for our intrepid heroes, but I think as I was writing a farce, it's somewhat forgivable. OWF is not a farce, lol, and my readers despair of them ever getting to the naughty bits, but they shall, in their own time! As for their...er...stamina, as you so gracefully put it, I'm afraid that may be attributed to the fact that it was my very first attempt at writing lemons and I was terrified! I may very well have gotten a bit out of hand. *giggle* Though I do remember my first weekend with my ex-bf, we went at it like minks until I was too sore to continue! He was my first adult relationship, and I was a bit over enthusiastic, I'm afraid! Perhaps my personal experience is rubbing off onto my stories. My beta deserves a multitude of tipped hats! The first draft of the first 4 chapters of NJ were abysmal at best. The story was there, Goblynn didn't change the story or the plot at all, but the form was horrid, completely and utterly horrid! I am lucky indeed that I was blessed enough to stumble upon a beta who knew what she was doing, and that I was clever enough to listen to her! Nowadays, my first drafts come back with much less red ink! She has taught me so much! Thanks for the compliment on my creative cursing as well as on my deciding to make a few physicists wizards. Heinlein was a physicist as well, though he is remembered more for being an author. I rather liked that bit, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm afraid I shall write nothing but ridiculously happy endings, I shall leave angst to those better suited to writing it. But I hope you will enjoy the rest of OWF in spite of this. Thank you so much for your kind and thorough review! It was most kind! :) | |||
| keep | 2005.01.03 - 07:18AM | 18: Remembrance | Signed |
| Ok, so I really liked that you ended it with a monument to Bob. I know it was supposed to be sentimental, but still, it's... Bob. I can't stop laughing; for reasons unknown the thought of Bob's name (not so much Bob himself) makes me laugh a great deal. Write on! Author's Response: Thank you, my dear! I'm glad Bob's name had you giggling 'til the end, it was supposed to. :) | |||
| keep | 2005.01.03 - 07:15AM | 17: Innovation | Signed |
| Far and wide have I heard your name PlaidPooka, but I am deeply saddened for one thing... you killed Bob. Ok, so that was a while back, but it was sad. Unfortunately I can't help but laugh everytime I see the name Bob because of his first entrance. I like the way you've done this story, though there are two things that were not as canon as one normally sees: snape is an old softie, melts instantly, that's weird; also, everyone is speaking so formally. aside from that, i quite enjoy the lemons. :) Author's Response: Lol, well...it is the first story I have ever written. I have certainly been told that my dialog is a bit stilted. I'm learning; slowly but surely! I'm afraid my Severus' will all be a bit on the light side. I get so tired of angst-ridden Severus! Thanks for the kind review! :) | |||
| keep | 2005.01.03 - 06:23AM | 4: Wrong Turn | Signed |
| I nearly choked because I was laughing so hard at the naming of Bob. Very funny. :) Author's Response: I'm so glad it made you laugh! I liked that bit! :) | |||
| Raven Granger_Snape | 2004.12.30 - 07:12PM | 18: Remembrance | Signed |
| That's not the end is it? I bloody well hope not, although I think how you left off this chapter was very...interesting, kind of thought provoking. Hope to see more from you soon.
Raven Author's Response: That is indeed the end of Naked Journey. There is a little one-shot smut biscuit which accompanies it. I sometimes consider doing a sequel, but I have not yet decided for certain. I've got OWF to finish up first, and then another little plot bunny to do. Hope you enjoyed my little naked romp. :) | |||
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