Reviews for Marriage Vows
Rave_n1 | 2005.11.07 - 10:39AM | 24: Revelations | Signed |
D'OH!!!! |
Rave_n1 | 2005.11.07 - 10:12AM | 22: The Hearing | Signed |
Go Hermione!!!! Show those overstuffed ministry officials!!! |
Rave_n1 | 2005.11.07 - 09:09AM | 18: The Family Tree | Signed |
ooooooooooooooooh. Why do I hear melodramatic music in the background! |
calamitysandra | 2005.11.06 - 10:44PM | 32: Epilogue | Signed |
Another great story of yours.
Thank you very much!
Sandra |
Rave_n1 | 2005.11.06 - 05:58PM | 5: Meeting the Parents | Signed |
THe exchange at the end with Minerva and Snape is HILARIOUS! |
Rave_n1 | 2005.11.06 - 05:45PM | 4: Engagements | Signed |
I'm really liking yoru story. |
tlara | 2005.10.22 - 03:50AM | 32: Epilogue | Signed |
I am a person of few words, I will say this though
great story! |
ladyofthemasque | 2005.10.16 - 03:50AM | 17: Trouble Brewing | Signed |
“Relatively uneventful,” he replied. I had Advanced Potions this afternoon with the Seventh years. Weasley kept his head down. Longbottom managed reasonably well in your absence. Draco wasn’t there to exercise a malign influence over Pansy or Blaise. I didn’t have that awful first year class today. No detentions. How about you?”
I have noticed in this fanfic that, when you start a paragraph with speech, break to identify who the speaker is, and then resume speech, you do not put in the start-quote mark. This makes identifying the continuation of the character's speech difficult, and it occurs almost consistently. In this example, the proper punctuation would be:
“Relatively uneventful,” he replied. "I had Advanced Potions this afternoon with the Seventh years. Weasley kept his head down. Longbottom managed reasonably well in your absence. Draco wasn’t there to exercise a malign influence over Pansy or Blaise. I didn’t have that awful first year class today. No detentions. How about you?”
Perhaps on your next fanfic, you might consider checking your work for this error, and correcting it? (Please don't take offense at this suggestion; I was informed myself by someone that my use of the word 'aureola' was incorrect, and that it was supposed to be spelled 'areola'. After checking in a dictionary, I realized what my mistake was--'aureola' refers to a corona or ring, usually around an inanimate object, and 'areola' refers to the darker skin immediately around a nipple.)
The story itself is engaging, and that is the most important aspect of any piece of fiction; writers who are boring don't last long, and this plotline isn't boring. It's just a few technical skills that need tweaking, and those can be learned by anyone. ~Lotm
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