Reviews for Marriage Vows
| breastlady | 2006.02.25 - 04:13AM | 21: Head of Slytherin | Signed |
| I’m grumbling again, but not because I don’t love this story. I can’t stop reading it and I’m going to be very mad at myself later today since it’s about 1am and I have no plans on stopping yet. Here’s my grumble: I think Dumbledore is letting way too many people in on Miss Abbott’s dangerous little secret. Especially Ron and Percy of all people. I have figured out how I would get revenge on Ron and Percy but I’ll need an extra wand I can dispose of, some poly juice and a hair from Draco Malfoy. Yech! |
| breastlady | 2006.02.25 - 03:33AM | 20: Family Loyalty | Signed |
| I knew this was about Ron! Why doesn’t Hermione hex him? Really. I’m not kidding. She is being way too easy on him. I would hate him forever. I’d hex his and Percy’s penises right off. They would be sitting down to pee forever. I’m sure I could make it look like an accident given some time. Revenge is a dish best served cold. She is too calm about this. |
| breastlady | 2006.02.25 - 03:12AM | 19: Professor Snape | Signed |
| Why did that jerk of a medi person or what ever he is called need to use the muggle speculum to examine Hermione? Can she file suit against the ministry for battery, harassment or emotional trauma? Someone should have to answer for this unnecessarily invasive and rough handling of a witch. What does Minister Weasley have to say about this? Has he no power in this case? He was a witness at the binding. Damn Ron and Malfoy too. If it wasn’t for his parents I would press battery charges against Ron for leaving those marks on her arms to protect Severus’ honor. Why couldn’t they view a pensive or use some other magic to examine her memory. Well, I guess it would have been just as invasive to have someone view their wedding night. Veritaserum would have been better than that exam. It is hard for me to believe there wasn’t a magical why to detect abuse or coercion. I don’t know why but this event has pissed me off worse than any other injustice so far. Maybe it’s because I work in Women’s Health at a hospital. She was old enough for a Order of Merlin First Class and to fight in the war. She is legally an adult. Why can’t her testimony stand on it’s own? Shouldn’t an adult have to give consent to such an exam? Shouldn’t there be some due process? Is the magical world really this stupid? He took her word about when she had become sexually active. Why not the rest of it? Who are the people stirring the pot anyway? Could Ron complaining precipitate such charges as this? Who else is against this marriage besides Ron? Alright, I guess I’m done with my rant. I’d be happy with the answer to one or two of these questions though. I guess you can tell I’m really into your story. Well done! |
| Strega_Trust | 2006.02.11 - 11:44AM | 2: A Suitable Candidate | Signed |
This story has a ton of potential, but it needs some grammatical work. I don't know if it is a simple glitch with the computer, but your story seems to be completely lacking in commas. I know there are links that can help you discover how to use them and frankly, if there were put to use, I'm sure your story would be much more easy to read. As it is, it simply seems flat.
In other areas, Hermione's character is lacking, and Severus Snape just seems far too caring for a snarky deatheater spy. Otherwise, this is a good story.
Author's Response: In the UK, comma usage is largely optional, except as part of speech punctuation and in lists. Since this story was written, SH has introduced policies regarding comma usage to make it easier for all English readers to enjoy the site. However, those of us with old stories have not been made to withdraw them and re-submit. We merely ensure that our new work is in line with site guidelines when we post it. |
| Amethystique | 2006.02.07 - 06:34PM | 32: Epilogue | Signed |
| I have read this fic in one sitting! Yes I have no life and what I do have is Dull! But I can honestly say that this has captivated me totally. It has plenty of mystery and intrigue with good plot twists and turns to keep the reader enthralled with the progression of the tale. It is truly a work of superior quality and I have thoroughly enjoyed all of it! Thankyou for crating a little bit of yummy, slightly lemony goodness that is HG/SS. LOL;-)X |
| RavanaSnape | 2006.02.05 - 04:20PM | 2: A Suitable Candidate | Signed |
| I'm not sure you have Snape in character - he seems to use too many words. Other than that, good plot so far. |
| Guinnevere | 2006.02.04 - 05:15PM | 32: Epilogue | Signed |
| Very nice. I happened on the companion piece to this a short while ago, which is why I began to have feelings of déjà vu (all over again!) during the later chapters of this story, although I had never read it. It has a level of suspense and mystery that is interesting without inspiring anxiety attacks, and the emotional depth is satisfying. Of course HBP, again, sends a lot of the concepts of Severus' past right down the drain, but it still makes a nice Alternative Universe. Good job. |
| Guinnevere | 2006.02.04 - 04:39PM | 31: The Trial | Signed |
| I don't know if I've ever felt sorrier for Draco. He's a frightful bully in canon, and earlier in this story, but this gives him such dignity along with a feeling of remorse for the things his horrible father has led him into. Narcissa Malfoy is a bit of a cypher in canon, apart from the chapter in HBP wherein she begs Severus to protect her son, but your story gives a sympathetic impression of a vulnerable woman trapped in an abusive marriage with a monster who eventually killed her. Good writing. |
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