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| Black Susan Lily | 2008.03.29 - 07:00PM | 2: One | Signed |
| Great beginning I'm looking forward to reading more. There is definitely a difference between intellect and innate ability. We are probably all at different points on a continuum for both qualities, and in different quanities in different areas of life. So I find Snape's comments very apt, cruel, but apt. Of course the lack of innate ability can be compensated for through intellect, hard work and effort, so I don''t feel Hermione has to give up on her dream. The other ways you have characterized Hermione, Snape and others is fully IC. I also like the bit about Hermione still feeling some subtle change in her parents. It was a huge change she created in their minds and I find it hard to think there wouldn't be some residual effect of her memory charm. I'm impressed. Author's Response: That was exactly what I thought when I read DH--there could be no way they wouldn't suffer some kind of residual after-effects. Glad to know I wasn't alone. :) Thanks so much for reading! | |||
| sophitia22 | 2008.03.29 - 07:03AM | 2: One | Signed |
| Hi! I'm really enjoying this story so far. Personally I find your characters very real, complete with normal weaknesses and insecurities. There's a bit of a tendency for authors to make Hermione a genius (her only flaws lying in thoroughly unimportant areas such as Quidditch or skiing or knowledge of fashion :D) but that's certainly not the impression I got from the novels. Hermione seems to believe that her intelligence rests on book-learning, and the boggart incident in her third year shows she has plenty of self-doubts. I definitely wouldn't say that these things make her weak, and I like how you've brought the focus onto these aspects of her character. And of course, the grief both she and Ginny are feeling after the final battle is perfectly natural, as is her struggle to redefine herself in new terms. Anyway, very well written, and I'm really looking forward to reading more! Author's Response: I'm relatively new to the fandom (just since DH), but that's one of the few tendencies I've noticed that irritate me as well: making Hermione an all-around genius. The same could be said with Snape, too, of course. I like stories that reveal their weaknesses without compromising their intelligence, and I'm glad you're still enjoying it and finding them to be in character despite this. Thanks so much. :) | |||
| kailin | 2008.03.28 - 11:27PM | 2: One | Signed |
| Excellent story so far! I'm looking forward to more - soon, I hope? Author's Response: Thank you! :) | |||
| Red_Rose | 2008.03.28 - 09:46PM | 1: Prologue | Signed |
| Okay, I think everyone's done a great job defending your story and encouraging you to write more. So, what they said! :-) I love the way you're evoking what it's really like to be clinically depressed and going through a very rough patch. VERY very well done. And Judith'sFancy...lol...I so hear ya about the depressive avoir dupois. I'm in the process of losing it all...slooowly...after several lousy years much like those this Hermione is having. Anyway, lovely work and please DO continue! (And tell Hermione, "diet and exercise, that's the only way luv"!) Author's Response: Having never been diagnosed with depression myself, I'm relieved to find that you think I'm presenting it in a believable way. Unfortunately, I've heard a lot of people throw the term around recklessly, especially people my age, but I've seen it in others. It's nothing to be joked about or taken lightly, and to treat it otherwise does such an enormous disservice to the people suffering, I think. Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent like that. Thank you so much. :) I'm glad you're finding it realistic and enjoyable so far. | |||
| Kyone | 2008.03.28 - 07:30PM | 2: One | Signed |
| Wow. Well, I don't see your Hermione as weak or unintelligent at all. She's clearly depressed and going through a rough time. And who can blame her after all that happened in the 6th and 7th books and her boyfriend cheating on her? She's very insecure about herself right now, and that remark from Snape, a man she respects, was very cutting and hard to swallow. She's just been told that her greatest dream has no chance of happening because she's not good enough (which I personally relate to by the way, I found the first chapter very moving), and I think she's entitled to a little weakness. Snape likely had some prejudice and anger fueling his refusal of course, but his main point was true (not that it's a valid reason to give up, hard work gets you farther than talent after all), Hermione hasn't shown the same instinct for Potions that Snape clearly had when he modified them at a young age. That doesn't make her any less intelligent or clever, but I can see how she could let herself believe Snape about being unable to get anywhere in the field because of it. I hope she takes Ginny's good advice to heart and works hard to prove the jerk wrong. :) But enough analyzing! I've really loved it so far, and I can't wait for the next update. Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. | |||
| JudithsFancy | 2008.03.28 - 05:37PM | 1: Prologue | Signed |
| Hermione may not be an 'instinctual' thinker, but she is, most certainly, logical. As well, her thought processes have been derailed by understandable deep depression. Her support systems have been displaced, i.e., parents, her two closest friends, her educational dream castle (Hogwarts), her last school year and her entire future. It is certainly the habit of brainy people to revisit and dissect circumstances to reach the best possible conclusions...except, this young woman has danger signs of classical, clinical depression. Depressed people don't deal well. Snape's refusal, while perhaps true, nontheless is spoken by a second, clinically depressed person. Double whammy. The path out of individual depression is in another direction of achievement. There is always and ever someone out there who needs help more than you do. Your story ensnared me on a deep emotional level. You have to be a good writer to sucker punch me as you do. And if a reviewer nags you to do it their way...well, there is a great deal of difference between critique and censorship. If we all wrote to someone else's formula, literature would have ceased to be somewhere about Beowulf. Oh, one other thing...don't make her too overweight. It may be a symptom of depression, but it will take our protagonist years to lose all that avoirdupois. Looking forward to future chapters. JF Author's Response: Thank you so much. :) | |||
| darkangel_001 | 2008.03.28 - 02:34PM | 2: One | Signed |
| Hey, I just wanted to say that I think your story is great- and I don't know if I am wrong but I don't think you are making Hermione stupid- I know a lot of the other reviewer are- but being someone who is an all-rounder myself- I know people automatically assume that it means we're 'instinctual' in our knowledge of a field and it does not have to be like that- but then again she is really depressed so that could possibly also play a part on why she thinks she is rubbish when she may not be.
Anyways, enough of me rambling- just wanted to say keep it up, great start to a story.
Cheers Author's Response: Yep, I'm the same way, and I didn't realize it until after getting the top grade in my first and only university-level economics class. I could repeat the whole textbook by heart, and I understood the math involved, but the theory behind it? I was lost. Put me in a calculus class and I'm in heaven, though, so my math skills are great. It was some deeper understanding that failed me, I guess. Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. I wanted to portray her as someone who could come to terms with that realization without feeling that she'd lost her self-respect or maturity. I'm glad to find someone else who can relate. :) | |||
| annabelle | 2008.03.28 - 12:53PM | 2: One | Signed |
| wow. um i really didn't get the impression that you were trying to make hermione stupid at all. it seem blatantly obvious that you were making her just as clever and smart as ever, you were just saying she didn't have any INSTINCTUAL ability in the particular subject of potions, i'm not sure how her not being gifted in that one subject would effect her ability to solve riddles and do all the other things she is good at intellectually. hermione can still be brilliant and not be innately gifted in every single subject ever created, i mean in canon it says her strong point is transfiguration or 'foolish wand waving'.....Sorry, got on a tangent but the other review did not seem to be talking about the same first two chapters of a story that i just read. moving on. your writing is amazing. simply amazing. fluidity, description, dialogue all great so far. i'm very curious to see where this story goes, i hope there is more coming soon. great work! Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm glad you haven't found the dialogue to be too stiff or unrealistic. That's an enormous weakness of mine. :-P | |||
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