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| lipa | 2008.04.01 - 03:44PM | 3: Two | Signed |
| Excellent. Simply, excellent. I am very curious to learn what her passion is (apart from Snape) and what steps she will take towards trimming her body. | |||
| midwife_witch | 2008.04.01 - 11:01AM | 3: Two | Signed |
| I just found this story today, and I'm really enjoying it. I love the idea of Hermione completely re-evaluating what she wants out of life. The way she's written in canon, she would have to doit at some point because as you so rightly point out, she really is driven by her need to get other peoples' approval and has no notion of a life separate from external achievement. I hope you have her decide that in her heart of hearts, she's passionate about becoming a pastry chef or something equally unHermione-like (hideous word, I know). I don't see how that would bring her and Snape together, but I like the idea of a Hermione that discovers her own heart's desires so thoroughly that I almost don't care about the Snape/Hermione stuff that much (and that's saying a lot coming from me). Keep up the good work! | |||
| DidiMaya | 2008.04.01 - 02:47AM | 3: Two | Signed |
| i cant wait to see how this story develops,please update soon! | |||
| Black Susan Lily | 2008.04.01 - 12:35AM | 3: Two | Signed |
| I'm glad to see Hermione is going to break out of her funk. Am I right in interpreting that she recognizes she has some feelings for him? | |||
| PsycheMaia | 2008.03.30 - 09:08PM | 3: Two | Signed |
| I really enjoyed this chapter as Hermione embarks in her own self-discovery. I found her dilemma to be incredibly believable. I also like that Snape has not fully recovered from such a horrific injury. I dislike fictions that invent some miracle cure and he reverts immediately back to the Snape prior to DH. I'm excited to read more! | |||
| darkangel | 2008.03.30 - 04:51PM | 3: Two | Signed |
| This is quite interesting. I wonder how Hermione will change by "being herself"... Update soon! | |||
| annabelle | 2008.03.30 - 01:10PM | 3: Two | Signed |
| I have to say this is one of the most engaging first few chapters of a story that I have read in a very long time. Your writing is very beautiful and I love your characterization of Hermione. She is so vivid, you can truly feel her, and it is very powerful. I also love the connection, for Hermione at least, that is cropping up for Snape, and you make the reader truly feel the tension, her attraction, and even embarrassment. I can really only say that your writing is stunning (I’m currently an English major at an ivy so I hope I would know….) You are making her into a real person while staying (for me) exactly true to canon. This new chapter makes the absurd review of the last chapter seem even more ridiculous. Your Hermione is intelligent and talented, but does not know what she wants, which rings very true for me. Authors in fan fiction often give Hermione an innate love of potions and an intrinsic ability as a plot device when it was never actually alluded to in the text. Hermione is clearly an amazing potions student because she is so smart and diligent, but that does not mean she has an innate talent. She is often made to equal or accede Snape in ability, just so that it can lead to (potion to thwart dark lord, apprenticeship, meeting at a potions conference now that she is a strong independent formidable potions force in the wizarding world, him gazing longingly at her unmatched talent across the musty dungeon classroom, etc.) While there are many of these stories that I love dearly I never felt in canon that Hermione was very passionate about the subject. It is wonderful that you are writing a story where she is trying to figure out what she wants because this seems like a very accurate reading of her character (I also loved how you dealt with Ron, he seemed to inhibit her), JKR’s epilogue seemed like a bit of a cop-out itself because she chained a character that was so obsessed with pleasing teachers and being the best to a future everyone expected from her instead of letting her discover what she wants. I can also tell that you don’t like dialogue given how sparsely you use it, but I think that so far it works, because we are essentially watching Hermione converse with herself, so we feel involved in the plot because of the narration it accentuates the dialogue (particularly with Snape) making it more significant because it is in stark contrast to her stream of consciousness. I have not been reading as much fan fiction lately, but this has given me a boost of enthusiasm for it. WIP’s are nerve-racking to get attached to (especially so early) because they are often abandoned or progress in strange directions, I hope that neither happens with this one, but I am confident as long as it goes somewhere your writing will make it a worthwhile read. Anyways, it beautiful so far. I’m going to go rec it on wiktt now (never done that before). Update soon! Author's Response: Wow! I can't even begin to thank you for that kind of praise. :) I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying it. I agree with you completely in your assessment of the DH epilogue being a cop-out. I've been seething about it ever since. Also, I'm relieved that you've found Hermione's narration acceptable so far. I fully acknowledge that dialogue is most definitely NOT my strong point. :) It's one of many areas in which I could certainly use some improvement, and I hope that as the story progresses, I'll be able to get some constructive criticism from readers in that regard. Anyhow, thanks so much for the kind words and for the recommendation. That means a great deal to me! :) | |||
| Expected Aberrance | 2008.03.30 - 12:47PM | 3: Two | Signed |
| You've managed particularly fresh characterizations for Hermione and Snape, and I'm intrigued as to where you'll take them. Please continue. Author's Response: Thanks! :) I'm glad you haven't found them to be too terribly out of character. | |||
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