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| Rosamund | 2006.04.19 - 04:31AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| It's been a long time since a traveling hermione/snape story captured my interest...especially this pairing. Love it! And now some action...can't wait to see what Severus is waiting for! I mean, when the time is right...it is right!!! Oh, can't wait for him to realize in the future who she was...or when in the past if he tells her. Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad my story has caught your interest. I don't know what Severus is waiting for either. I get the distinct feeling he is scared... LOL! It is going to be interesting when we get back to Hermione's proper time. Thank you so very much for the great review! I will update as soon as I can! | |||
| dyrinia | 2006.04.18 - 04:39AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| Excellent story, great smutty bits. When are you gonna have them get together? Update soon !!!!! Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying my story! When are they going to get together? ;) I'll update as soon as I can! Thanks for the review! | |||
| salena snape | 2006.04.17 - 10:44AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| Wowza. You're doing a great job at portraying how volitile Severus really is. Author's Response: Thank you so much! I find it very difficult to write a young Snape. He had to have earned the nickname Snivellus somehow, but I also believe that by his seventh year, he would have been coming into the whole dark persona since he joined Voldemort the summer after graduating. I'm glad I am succeeding in portraying his volitile nature. Thanks for the review, and I will update as soon as I can. | |||
| Lilysweets | 2006.04.16 - 11:20PM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| I'm really enjoying the story so far. The character development is strong and the dialogue is very engaging. Keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to updates! Author's Response: Thank you so very much! What wonderful compliments! I am working so hard on this story with the help of my beta, Phoenix. I originally came up with this idea about seven months ago, and have so much enjoyed writing and planning it. I am honored that those who share this story with me are enjoying it as well. Thank you for a fantastic review! I will update as soon as I can. | |||
| Bracken | 2006.04.16 - 07:07PM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| I am not sure what the previous reviewer was trying to accomplish by her negative critique. I love the story and trust the author to ensure any consistencies necessary! Keep writing--I look forward to updates soon! Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you trust for me to resolve any open plot lines. I fully intend to. Even if I tried to leave it open, my beta would crack the whip! LOL! I appreciate your support and your lovely compliment! Thanks for the review, and I will do my best to update soon! | |||
| Helena | 2006.04.15 - 10:37AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| I'm not entirely sure about this story yet. It seems to me that some of the story is slightly disjointed, and perhaps does not have sufficient depth and development. For example, in this chapter you have Severus have his first ever kiss, get freaked out by it, run away then suddenly he and Hermione are heavily involved. The impression you had given of Hermione so far didn't suggest that she would ever let herself be in a situation where she'd be half naked in a dusty room at school, and the impression you had given of Severus suggested that he would need time to sit and think about what had just happened in the library rather than accosting her two minutes later in the hallway.
Then there is also the idea that Hermione would let Albus legilimise her - I can't think of anything more ludicrous - he cannot read her mind because then he would know how events such as the prophecy would play out and he would be able to alter them. Likewise, the suggestion that he would actually tell the Governors that she was from the future - what a dangerous proposition, and cetainly not behaviour that I would expect from Albus Dumbledore.
Another real dilemma - you are doing a time travel fiction, but you don't really seem to have thought through how your time travel will work. These things need rules - you can either take the approach that Hermione was never destined to go back in time, therefore by her being there she could alter the future, potentially even stopping herself from being born. The other approach is that her being in the past influenced the future and therefore was always destined to occur - in this manner though, the people from her future should actually have known that she was going into the past. At present this story seems to have a cross between these two theories, which just isn't logical.
I think the premise of Hermione travelling back in time has a great deal of potential. I feel that this story, however, needs more careful planning to ensure that the plot itself flows and makes sense. I look forward to reading more as it develops. Author's Response: I think that you are making your comments too early in the story. Such things as you have pointed out have yet to be addressed as it is only four chapters in. As for Severus and Hermione, they are teenagers. Hormones run away with teenagers sometimes. I would suggest that if you don't like the way I am developing the story, simply don't read it. Thank you for your review. Author's Response: That came across as rude upon reading it again. I didn't mean for it to. I was just trying to point out that it is very early on. This story is very thought out. While it may not seem so to you, I remind you it is only four chapters in. | |||
| snapeluvsme | 2006.04.15 - 07:50AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| woot woot! update soon! Author's Response: Thanks, hon! I will try to! | |||
| Matie | 2006.04.14 - 02:15AM | 4: Chapter Four | Signed |
| Nice! i love it. you need to update a.s.a.p. its just one of those stories that makes you wonna read and read without reaching an ending. So far it seems too good to ever end. Lol. Ok maybe it seems that I am taking it too far now, but in my opinion an author needs to know how great there work is. I kid you not that this is A+++ work. lol Please update quickly. I am truly looking forward to what ever u have install for us next. Thanks for a great read so far. Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! I am overwhelmed by your words. Your compliments are truly wonderful! I am humbled and overjoyed to hear that my story is so appreciated. I will do my very best to update soon for you. Thank you for such an extraordinary review! Again, wow. Your words have made my day! | |||
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