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| Guinnevere | 2006.07.03 - 07:44PM | 8: Chapter Seven | Signed |
| Well, well, well. Little Athena seems likely to be sorted into Slytherin. She's busily constructing a Parent Trap, but well aware that it's unlikely to break up Ron and Lavender; she's only trying to catch her father's interest and get him and her mother to tolerate one another for their child's sake. The story is going great, and I look forward to the next installment. Good job! | |||
| Guinnevere | 2006.07.03 - 07:35PM | 7: Chapter Six | Signed |
| Oh, geez, Ron: Mister Sensitivity strikes again. Another good chapter. | |||
| Gwenog Jones | 2006.07.03 - 07:29PM | 8: Chapter Seven | Signed |
| Hmm, I love how Athena appears to display some very Slytherin qualities. I do, however, feel that she needs to watch out for Snape, who would not take kindly to anyone trying to manipulate him. Great chapter! | |||
| Guinnevere | 2006.07.03 - 07:22PM | 6: Chapter Five | Signed |
| Oooo. Excellent insights in this chapter. Hermione really let him have it after the interview with Athena, and his gal pal Samantha gave his already wobbly self-confidence a good shake, just for good measure. He realizes already that his antipathy toward Hermione is due to jealousy for her having chosen Ron instead of him That Night, but he's too caught up in his own petty reactions to realize that his nasty Score Settling is only going to reach around and bite him firmly in the behind, and soon. Good job. | |||
| Guinnevere | 2006.07.03 - 07:08PM | 5: Chapter Four | Signed |
| Everything is moving along very logically, and I can practically see all the characters' reactions. Poor Hermione, she's in an untenable situation here. Good thing Harry is still in her corner. And Athena's cluelessness now is entirely childlike and understandable. She only knows that her long-lost father has finally materialized; she doesn't realize that she's the proverbial ghost at the banquet for him and Lavender. Good job. | |||
| justme | 2006.07.03 - 06:57PM | 8: Chapter Seven | Signed |
| Oh damn, and I was so looking forward to the "tour!!!" Please hurry and update! | |||
| Guinnevere | 2006.07.03 - 06:36PM | 1: Prologue | Signed |
| This is an intriguing scenario. But Athena's capitulation to Snape's offer seems far too abrupt, and too easy for a child who had no one but her mother in her life for her first eleven years. For one thing, unless Athena harbors a truly abnormal hatred of Hermione, I doubt she would take it well for a total stranger to speak rudely to her mother and call her a "daft cow." That would have had me trying to pummel him, when I was eleven, even if he had been offering me the life of a princess. Even a rotten kid like Dudley Dursley would need a bit more explanation and time to react, to have taken the line Athena takes here, and it makes it seem that there's something wrong with the child if she's so insensitive that Snape could alienate her affections from her mother this quickly. Having said that, I like your descriptive skills and imagination very much. You have a gift for narrative. Good prologue. Author's Response: Hm - an excellent point. I tried to have Athena so distracted by her failure and her impending escape that not much else mattered - but you have an excellent point. Thank you very much for that.... definately a good point. | |||
| angelnomiko | 2006.07.03 - 05:06PM | 8: Chapter Seven | Signed |
| hmm will ron go with hermione and athena ... hmmm maybe ron should just tell athena the truth about how he fells about her ....please please please update soon i would love to read more ...later for now angel | |||
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