This little series is my response to the dialog only challenge issued on the grangersnape100 livejournal community. There are ten, one hundred word drabbles in total. I hope everyone enjoys it.

As they always will, the characters belong to JKR.

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The Sponge Bath


“I told you, I’m not interested in your pity.”

“It’s not pity, Professor Snape.”

“Why are you here, Miss Granger?”

“It’s Healer Granger. I finished my apprenticeship three years ago.”

“You just graduated. You’re purposefully trying to make me feel old.”

“Stop grumbling. You are not old simply because I graduated ten years ago.”

“Well, you bloody well make me feel old. Get out! I refuse to let you give me a sponge bath.”

“Get over it, Professor. There is no one else working at the moment.”

“Use magic.”

“No magic is allowed until the hex you received has healed.”

---

“I want someone else to give me the sponge bath.”

“We went over this. I’m the only one working right now. Now, I’m going to undress you. You can either let me, or I’ll force a sleeping potion down your throat and bathe you while you are out. You won’t have any idea what I’m doing to you if you are in a potion induced sleep.”

“Vile, evil woman.”

“It’s part of the training.”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m taking off your trousers.”

“Absolutely not!”

“I can’t give you a proper sponge bath with them on.”

“Then don’t.”

---

“I am taking off your trousers. Deal with it.”

“No, no! I’ll do it. Bloody harpy.”

“There is no need for name calling, Professor. We’re both adults here. Save the insults for your poor students when you go back to Hogwarts.”

“I’m sure I can come up with more for them.”

“We both know that you can’t take off your trousers because you’re temporarily paralyzed.”

“I have full functioning ability; I just chose not to share that fact with you.”

“Oh, really? Lift your index finger, then.”

“Fine. Take them off.”

“Finally. Now off with your shirt.”

“I’d rather not.”

---

“What are you looking at me like that for, Miss Granger?”

“Healer Granger. I’m praying to God to give me the strength to keep from throttling you.”

“Are you threatening your patient, Miss Granger?”

“Healer Granger!”

“You don’t have to shout.”

“I’m taking off your shirt now.”

“Do you have to?”

“Yes!”

“And you’re sure you can’t use magic?”

“No! I can’t bloody use magic, you insufferable git! Your hex is still healing! Perhaps I should order tests to make sure your brain wasn’t injured, too!”

“Gryffindors. So easy.”

“You abominable man. I’m taking off your shirt.”

“I’d rather not.”

---

“Your face is turning an interesting red color, Miss Granger.”

“I cannot kill my patient. I cannot kill my patient.”

“Sorry, what was that?”

“None of your business, Snape.”

“So, you’ve shortened it from Professor Snape to Snape.”

“I’m taking off your shirt now.”

“Fine. Take off my shirt. You seem eager to get me naked. Are you harboring a crush on your former Potions master, Miss Granger?”

“You wish, you ruddy bastard.”

“You’re muttering again, Miss Granger.”

“Okay, I’m going to start sponging you off now.”

“Good God, woman!”

“The water might be a bit cold after your delays.”

---

“You did that on purpose! You could use magic to warm the water without harming me.”

“I could. Are you sure you want me to? You didn’t want me taking off your trousers or your shirt.”

“Loathsome brat.”

“I’m not an eleven-year-old child anymore, Snape.”

“Loathsome bitch.”

“That was completely uncalled for!”

“You said you weren’t a child anymore.”

“I cannot kill my patient. I cannot kill my patient.”

“Are you threatening me again?”

“I wish I had been the one to cast the hex.”

“Now, now, Miss Granger. There is no need for violence… Glaring doesn’t suit your face.”

---

“Fine, I’ll warm the water.”

“You seem so very enthusiastic about making me comfortable. Glaring still doesn’t suit your face, Miss Granger.”

“Healer Granger!”

“Ow! Are you trying to rub the skin off my body?”

“Trying.”

“What do they teach you in a healing apprenticeship?”

“Oh, this and that. How to keep from telling an infuriating Potions master to sod off.”

“You’re not going to handle my genitals in the same arduous manner as you have the rest of me, are you? Don’t smile like that, woman. They’re very sensitive body parts.”

“Oh, are they? Why, Severus, you look panicked.”

---

“Of course I’m panicked! I’m bloody terrified!”

“Men get so worried about their genitals.”

“How would you like for me to rub yours the way you’re rubbing me? Wait…”

“Caught on to what you said, did you?”

“Healer Granger, please.”

“Don’t worry, Severus. I’m not going to manhandle your genitals.”

“Thank God.”

“Umm…”

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Part of you is not paralyzed anymore, and I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Bloody hell.”

“You’re very well endowed.”

“Stop looking!”

“I still have to wash you.”

“Bloody hell!”

“Umm… I’m going to wash you now.”

“Just get it over with, woman.”

---

“Healer Granger?”

“Professor Snape! What brings you back to the hospital? You were released with a clean bill of health a month ago.”

“I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner this weekend.”

“Me?”

“Don’t squeak. It doesn’t suit you any better than glaring did.”

“Why do you want to go to dinner with me? You hate me.”

“Hate is such a strong word. I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t like me either.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve thought of you since being released from the hospital.”

“Me?”

“You give a bloody brilliant hand job, Hermione.”

---

“It wasn’t a hand job!”

“To a man paralyzed for six months due to an imbecilic student’s mistake, it was a hand job.”

“Stop saying that!”

“I like embarrassing you.”

“You aren’t the professor I remember.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be a sex object.”

“Don’t worry; you still aren’t.”

“I can hear your breath hitch when I whisper in your ear.”

“You’re making me nervous.”

“Don’t lie, Hermione. You are excited by me, as I was excited by you. Remember that?”

“H-h-how could I forget?”

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Yes…”

“You can give me another sponge bath later.”

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There is now a sequel to The Sponge Bath called The (Not So) Long Awaited Sponge Bath Sequel. Hope you all enjoy it, too!