This was a WKKT Challenge at one point that I'm just now posting - I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes. :-)

Okay, so the gist of the story is that Snape and Hermione are trapped in the Room of Requirement, which, for whatever reason, was a closet when they stepped into it (Snape thought that it was a potions lab). Hermione is older and no, they are not lovers, just friends. For now....

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“Explain to me again why you followed me in here?”

“Because you told me to.”

“Impertinence is not going to help the situation, Ms. Granger.”

“No, but it certainly makes it funnier.”

“While your cheek is greatly unappreciated, I feel the need to remind you that I am your professor and therefore capable of deducting points.”

“Actually, Severus, you haven’t been my professor for two months, six days, and three hours so deduct all the house points you want. It’s not going to make a bloody bit of difference.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Instead of throwing awful clichés at me perhaps you could make better use of your time by figuring a way out of here.”

“Perhaps, but then when would we get to spend any quality time together?”

“Ms. Granger!”

“Alright, alright. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. The first question is whether or not that’s the doorknob sticking into my side.”

“That’s not the doorknob, Ms. Granger.”

“Well, then, we really do have a problem. I was about to try turning it.”

“Stop giggling. It’s not helping. Perhaps if we turn this way -”

“Ow. I think my hair’s caught in your button.”

“Perhaps if you cut that rat’s nest of a hairstyle we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“And perhaps if you wore less showy buttons and hadn’t asked me to follow you into the bloody Room of Requirement we wouldn’t be in the current situation, Professor.”

“Duly noted. Now, I think I’ve found a light switch.”

“Really? Where?”

“On the wall.”

“No need to be a git about it. Flick it on.”

“That’s better.”

“Define better. We’re still stuck.”

“Fine. It’s an improvement. At least now we can see what we’re stuck in.”

“A closet. Why would the Room of Requirement stick us in a closet?”

“Perhaps it’s used to the needs of horny teenagers. Ms. Granger, what are your hands doing?”

“I’m trying to see my watch. What did you think my hands were doing?”

“Just get your arm free and do so with the least amount of force pos – Ow!”

“Sorry. We’ll get you some ice for that when we get out.”

“I’ll bet Potter had something to do with this. He’s probably standing outside laughing his balls off.”

“Tell me, Severus, have you ever laughed your balls off?”

“That, Ms. Granger, is private. What time is it?”

“Close to six. We’ve been in here awhile.”

“I’m beginning to wonder if this journey into madness will ever end.”

“’Journeys end in lovers meeting, every wise man’s son doth know.’”

“As impressed as I am that you’re capable of quoting Shakespeare at a time like this, I would ask that you refrain from doing so.”

“Of course. Care to pass the time?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, we are stuck in a closet in an exceptionally compromising position.”

“Ms. Granger…”

“We could use it to our advantage.”

“I’m not sure that I understand what you’re implying.”

“A game, perhaps? I spy with my little eye?”

“Hermione?”

“Yes, Severus?”

“Shut up.”

“Of course. By the way, I think I can hear Harry laughing his balls off outside.”

“Hermione!”

“Just kidding.”