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Master of Slytherin House by Sevi Snape [Reviews - 9]


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parody to ‘Master of the House’ from the musical ‘Les Miserable’ hope you enjoy let me know what you think.







Master of Slytherin House





Harry

Snape’s an old pest

Ron
Bound to give you a test

Hermione
We’ve got him first thing today

Snape
Sad little lot
The potions gone to pot
So I’ll throw it down the sink
Add a glass a rum
Rum I said not beer!

Harry
Right away, you scum (to himself)
Right away, m'sieur (to Snape)

Ron
I wish Snape would go to hell

Hermione
So you tell me every year

Draco
Good ol’ professor Snape
Dressed in a black cape,
Been that way since ‘82

Crabbe
Dark mark, its true
Been through a thing or two

Pansy
But he knew just what to do



Draco

Came back to Dumbledore
So I've heard it said
Teaching at Hogwarts
(But wishes he were dead)

Hermione

He made a tidy score
In the midst of war

Snape
These kids are soaks
These kids are dissolute’s
Hear dirty jokes, from my house of Slytherin.
They’re sons of whores
Spent their lives in Hogwarts
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through its doors
And their minds will soon be raw

Neville
Ain't got a clue
What I’m supposed to stew
Must have forgotten something else

Hermione
Hear Draco whine
God I hate that little swine
Must have bribed professor Snape

Sybil Trelawny
Severus over here!
Where's the bloody man?
Just give me one kiss!
One more little kiss


Neville
No more work! Or it will do me in!


Snape
I’m Severus Snape
I teach potions
And I’m the best
Brewer in town.
As for the class
All of 'em flunk
All bold as brass
And their work is junk.
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of Potions
Doling out detention
Ready with a comment
And my past, don’t mention
Tells you to shut up
Give that a little stir
They all that I am a vampire
Glad to do Albus a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But that’s not gonna happen
Now add those little entrails of mice!

Master of Potions
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to give 'em
A punishment or two
Water out that fire
Double check the weight
Pick up those loose pine needles
Or you won’t see straight
Everybody hates my teaching
Everybody's hating me
Won’t do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I fail you in the end!

Class
Master of Potions
Quick to catch yer tricks
Never wants a student
To pass easy
Servant to Voldemort
Butler to Albus
Vulture and teacher,
That we all hate!
Everybody's worst nightmare
Everybody's chaperone

Draco
But don’t think he’s that bad
Cos he won’t throw Gryffindor a bone!


Snape (sarcastic)
Enter M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road



Snape (normal)
Tens minutes late
I’ve just the curse
Cos here I strive
For reactions adverse
See that potions cooked!
See the roots are tied
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied...

Torture beyond compare
Torture beyond belief
Mix it in the mortar
You’ll beg for relief
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the cauldrons

With this and that

Don’t think that I won’t see that
I’ll test the potion on you
Reasonable attempts
From all those in my house Slytherin!

Come on add the lice
Extra bits of mice
Two more minutes till you stir it twice
Add a little slice
Give this a little cut
Three percent for not keeping the lid shut



Class

When it comes to fixing grades
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all decreases
All in bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how we groan!

Class
Master of Potions
Quick to catch yer tricks
Never wants a student
To pass easy
Servant to Voldemort
Butler to Albus
Vulture and teacher,
That we all hate!
Everybody's worst nightmare
Everybody's chaperone

Draco
But don’t think he’s that bad
Cos he won’t throw Gryffindor a bone!

Hermione
I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what authors write?
`Master of Potions?'
-stupid little git!
`Vulture and teacher'
- and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain
Regular wanker
They write him as a great lover
But there's not much there
What a cruel trick of fiction
Landing me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted
Sleeping with head of Slytherin house!


Snape and Class
Master of Potions.

Hermione
Master and a twat!

Snape
Comforter, philosopher

Hermione
Ah, don't give me that!

Class

Servant to Voldemort
Butler to Albus.

Hermione
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!

Snape and Class
Everybody's worst nightmare
Everybody's chaperone

Snape

Everybody fill a glass

Hermione
Shove it up Professor Snape’s arse.

Snape

Everybody fill a glass or you’ll lose points from your house!



Master of Slytherin House by Sevi Snape [Reviews - 9]


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