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I Don't Want To Be Alone by DistinctVagueness [Reviews - 3]

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A/N: Been thinking about this story quite a bit lately and talking about it with my beta. You'll notice advancement in this chapter- if I continued in September any longer, there'd be more than a 100 chapters before I got to Christmas and I'd probably give up by then.

The relationship between SS/HG will be slow to build- I think, especially with what's happened to Hermione earlier on, that a relationship started in her school years wouldn't necessarily be sudden or quick. There will be a sequel but that's all I'm saying. Please bear with me- I promise that they will get together eventually.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to my beta Angel. Check out her fics under Anubis81 at fanfiction.net. You won't be disappointed if you do.

My cinema seat is booked for May 31st. *Grins madly* And that's it, I guess. On with the story.



22. Going Through the Motions


After the 'eventful' first weeks back at school for Hermione, the next couple of months passed quickly and without incident, blessedly. The burnt-orange rays of the late summer soon faded into grey skies, and the days grew shorter. Green leaves, once so admired by the sun's radiance began to crisp, and floated to the muddy earth below in various shades of crimson and ochre. They were soon trampled under the heavy boots of traipsing students.

In mid-November, bundled in thick robes, Gryffindor scarf and gloves, Hermione made her way from the Quidditch stands. She could feel her cheeks tingeing pink with cold and mentally urged Harry, Ron and Ginny to hurry up. Eventually, the three emerged from the changing rooms, oblivious to the girl waiting for them out in the cold.

"…So Johns just swoops through the goalpost, completely confusing Daley and chucks it to Ginny-" Harry was saying, explaining to an enthusiastic Ron who'd been hit in the head with a Bludger halfway through the game and had missed some of the action.

"Leaving me free to get to the other end and score," finished Ginny, grinning at her brother. She caught sight of Hermione and smiled over at her.

"Well done," said Hermione as the three caught up to her. "How's your head?" she added.

Ron gave a shrug. "S'okay. Wasn't that bad. Hooch wants me to see Madam Pomfrey, though." He grimaced. "She'll probably have me in the Infirmary all week."

"Oh, and won't that be a shame?" Ginny teased affably. A week away from lessons was widely known as one of Ron Weasley's fantasies, as with most students.

"We could always bring your homework to you," offered Hermione with one eyebrow raised.

-

Ginny sat on her bed drying her hair with a small towel. "Thanks," she said, noting the neatly folded and cleaned Quidditch robes and Hermione slipping her wand back into her pocket.

"That's okay." Hermione smiled. "You were really good today. Even I enjoyed the game."

"Miracles will happen."

Once the redhead had tied her hair back and put on her regular school robes, the two set off down to the common room and through the portrait hole.

"Hogsmeade weekend soon," said Hermione, after seeing the notice in the common room.

Ginny groaned. "Christmas presents again…I have no idea what to buy this year."

Hermione considered this. "Well…don't worry about me- I don't need anything…buy Ron anything remotely related to Quidditch and you can't go wrong…are you getting Harry something?"

The younger girl reddened slightly and bit her lip. "I'm not sure. I mean, normally I'll just buy him sweets or something but…"

"But what?" Hermione prompted.

"Maybe I should get him a nicer present, in case…" Ginny broke off looking embarrassed.

Hermione smiled slightly. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Ginny shook her head rapidly. "No, nothing, nothing."

"Hmm." Hermione suddenly felt very suspicious but said no more. If Ginny wanted to tell her, she would. She could hypothesize about what had caused her embarrassment in the meantime.

The two walked down the stairs to the entrance hall and almost bumped into Professor Snape on their way into the Great Hall.

Instead of subtracting house points without hesitation, the Potions Master stiffened.

Ginny lowered her head automatically.

"Miss Granger," the man acknowledged with a slight nod of his head.

"Professor Snape."

Neither met each other's eyes. Snape immediately continued in the direction of the dungeons and the two girls went into the Great Hall, Hermione not noticing the odd look thrown at her by Ginny.

It had been this way since September. Snape was still his old vindictive self, especially towards Harry and Ron, but strangely silent when it came to 'Miss Granger.' He no longer came to inspect her work during Potions, or criticised her for being able to answer every questions asked.

Hermione wondered if some of her words had gotten through to him after his so-called apology. Something certainly seemed to have struck him, but it was disappointing that he now more or less ignored her.

She took her seat at the table, offering a smile to her friends already assembled. As she began to ladle out some soup, Harry asked the question she had been dreading for months.

"What are you doing for Christmas, Hermione?"

"Er-"

"I reckon Mum will let you and Harry come back to the Burrow with Ginny and me," Ron told her, buttering a roll.

Hermione would have been amused at the happiness on Ginny's face for a split second, if she hadn't had been more preoccupied.

She gave them a regretful look. "I'd love to, Ron, but I promised my parents I'd go home this Christmas."

She could have hugged Ron for not making a big deal of his disappointment. It was a lot easier that way. Athena knew she'd rather be at the Burrow than at home this Christmas.

-

However, it seemed the next day that perhaps the others wouldn't get to go there either. Ron came in to breakfast looking downcast with a letter in his hand. He sat down and handed it over to his sister. Ginny read some and then scowled.

"What's wrong?" asked Hermione.

"Mum and Dad want to go out to Egypt to see Bill this year. We have to stay here," she told her, passing over the letter. Hermione scanned through it.

"Are you sure?"

"What d'you mean? Of course we have to stay here. Where else would we go? Fred and George's?" The others laughed. Entering the twins' new home was akin to walking into a lion's den. Fear of being Enlarged by your toothpaste or turned blue by any food you accepted was always at the back of your mind.

Hermione shook her head and pointed to the closing paragraph of the letter. "You mustn't have read this. It says they're coming up in the first week of December to talk about 'arrangements'."

Ginny looked mystified. "Think they want us to go to Egypt?" she asked her brother. Harry instantly looked gloomy. Hermione didn't blame him. The prospect of either spending Christmas alone or returning to the Dursleys' wasn't exactly cheering.

Ron shook his head. "Can't be. Besides, I don't really want to spend Christmas there…and we can't abandon Harry. We'll just have to wait and see."

-

True to their word, on the third of December, Professor McGonagall came to find Ginny and Ron. She also told Harry to come along.

"There's someone who wants to talk to you," she told him. It only became clear just whom that was when Harry was ushered into Dumbledore's office, the two redheads following.

Remus Lupin turned from the fire to smile at them, the increasingly apparent flecks of grey in his hair caught by the firelight. Ginny immediately went to hug their long missed friend, and then as an afterthought, guiltily greeted her parents warmly.

Once they'd discussed all their trivial news with each other, Ron turned to his dad.

"So what's this about 'arrangements', then?"

Arthur Weasley shifted in his seat. "Well, our plans for Egypt, as you know, are set. You can come with us," – at this, Ginny and Ron exchanged uneasy looks- "but only if you want to. We suspected you might not."

"Can we stay here?" Ginny asked her mother.

Molly smiled. "If you really want to, dear, but we have an option you may prefer." She looked to Lupin. "Remus?"

Remus stepped away from the fire where he'd been talking to Harry.

"For the last few months, I've been staying in Grimmauld Place by myself. I realised that over Christmas, I'd rather not be alone and invited your parents and you, of course to stay over the holidays. But since they are going to see your brother, I thought that perhaps you might want to come anyway. And Hermione too, obviously."

Ron grinned. "That would be great."

Ginny nodded, smiling. "I'd love to go, but Hermione's going home this year, so I doubt she'll be able to come."

Remus turned to Harry. "How about you?"

"Hmm," Harry answered. "Let me consider my options. Spend Christmas alone while Ron and Ginny have a great time, attempt to look grateful for the Dursleys' present of a sock, or actually have a great Christmas myself. However will I choose?"

"Well," said Remus. "It is really up to you, you know, whether anyone stays there."

Harry looked confused. "What?"

Remus fished a rather battered looking brown envelope from his pocket. "I'm not supposed to give this to you until you leave Hogwarts, but I don't see how it matters anymore."

Curious, Harry took the envelope and slipped his finger underneath the seal, tearing it open. He opened up the letter inside and began to read, his brow creasing more with every word. When he finally finished, he looked disbelievingly at Lupin.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" he asked.

Remus nodded with a smile.

"What is it?" asked Ginny, but Harry had sunk down into a chair, re-reading the letter. She looked to Remus, her eyes questioning.

"The letter Harry is reading is one that Sirius wrote and gave to me for safe-keeping before…" He broke off. He'd never quite got over the death of his best friend, though it had been well masked in his support for others. "He told me plainly that he didn't want any of his relatives getting their hands on Grimmauld Place should anything happen to him. None of his blood relatives, anyway. He seemed quite insistent it went to someone much closer to his heart than that."

Ginny's eyes widened. "You mean…he gave Grimmauld Place to…to Harry?"

The fact seemed to have hit Harry at last. "I have a home," he said quietly. "My own house." He shook his head and continued to stare at the letter.

Then he looked up, and realised that the Headmaster was also in the room, by the darkened window. He nodded to Harry, a twinkle in his eye.

Harry looked to everyone in the room. "You're all welcome," he said with a smile, before Molly Weasley could contain herself no longer and enveloped him in a warm hug.

-

On the other side of the castle, as she ticked off her gift list, Hermione didn't feel the joy that one of her best friends was feeling. Instead, she felt the growing feeling of gloom, as her date for going home loomed closer.

"If only..." she left the sentence hanging unfinished in the silent room as a heavy sigh escaped her lips. The only person she could envision understanding her guilt and the reluctance she felt at returning home to spend the cheerful holiday surrounded by those who loved her, was someone she couldn't reach out to. Not for the first time in her life, Hermione Granger felt as though she was in a world where everyone had someone. Everyone, but her.


I Don't Want To Be Alone by DistinctVagueness [Reviews - 3]

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