Home | Members | Help | Submission Rules | Log In |
Recently Added | Categories | Titles | Completed Fics | Random Fic | Search | Top Fictions
Angst

I Don't Want To Be Alone by DistinctVagueness [Reviews - 6]

<< >>

Would you like to submit a review?

18. Strengths

“So I’d listed the properties and then Natalie asks me to go down to the pitch and check out one of the Quaffles. Turns out the Fairness Charm on it had stopped functioning properly. Kept on zooming over to random people instead of acting like a Muggle ball. When I finally found Hooch, she told me to take it to Flitwick. By the time I got back, I had to do that nasty Transfiguration essay and could only spend fifteen minutes on the rest of Potions.” Harry sighed histrionically to Hermione who was staring bleakly at the dungeon wall and listening vaguely, giving an absent nod every so often. “I’ll be lucky if I scrap a D, if Snape doesn’t decide I qualify for Troll status.”

Hermione suddenly realised Harry had finished. “Oh, well…you’ve had mostly ‘A’s this year, and a couple of ‘E’s….one ‘D’ won’t do too much damage.”

“Hermione, are you mad? I need to get an ‘A’ in my N.E.W.T’s at least to apply for Auror Training.”

“Harry, they’d be stupid not to accept you, Mr Harry Potter, defeater of the Dark Lord, and besides it’s your final exam grade that matters most and Snape isn’t the one who judges that. You got a decent grade on your Potions O.W.L for that reason.”

“Don’t give him false hope, Granger. Personally, I’ll be astounded if Snape doesn’t kick him out before Christmas,” Draco Malfoy drawled, a sneering Pansy Parkinson hanging adoringly on his arm.

“Oh, look, it’s the Amazing Bouncing Ferret and his dog-faced friend,” snapped Harry. Malfoy’s comment had obviously stung. Draco’s lip curled.

“Don’t be rude, Potter, especially to my girlfriend.” Harry hid a smirk, unsuccessfully. “And I wasn’t finished. My sources,” he turned to Hermione, “inform me that this Mudblood here might be joining you.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned slyly at her. Hermione felt her insides run cold. He knew…but how..? She glanced at Pansy. The girl leered back at her.

“You may think the youngest Weasley is a fine catch Potter, but she can’t keep any secrets to herself.”

“Fine catch?” interrupted Draco incredulously. “Scraping the bottom of the barrel is what I call it.”

Before Harry could lunge at the Slytherin, he became aware of a dark figure standing behind them.

“A usual case of teenage aggression, Mr. Potter? Dear, dear…I think ten points deducted from Gryffindor should do the trick.”

Harry lowered his head, hiding his furious scowl. Snape swept past into his classroom, his eyes not passing over Hermione once. She was half-glad and half-disappointed. In no way did she want him to attack her this afternoon, but still, she couldn’t help wanting him to challenge her, daring him to question her outburst the night before.

The assembled Gryffindors and Slytherins followed him in.

The lesson was a complete success. Well, if you were going by Hermione’s display of academic ability. If you were examining her barely concealed nerves, it most certainly- wasn’t. She kept glancing up at the dark, imposing desk and its matching owner at the front of the classroom. She almost dropped her vial of salamander blood as she picked up the volatile ingredient with a pair of silver tongs.

Harry’s furtive looks weren’t helping either. Trying ardently to push her fear out of her head, she hissed over to him. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Like what? I’ve not been looking at you,” Harry defended. Hermione stared back at him, arching one eyebrow.

Harry gave up his dissent. After giving Snape a quick look, he answered, “What was Pansy talking about?”

Hermione froze, but then recovered. “Ginny, obviously. And how did they know you like her before I did?”

Harry ignored her question. “Not that. What did she mean by ‘secrets’?”

She refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her?”

“Hermione, you’ve been odd since last night. You were acting depressed, and at breakfast you were, well, hyper and on edge.”

“No, I wasn’t,” she denied.

“Is this about Ron, because I get the feeling that it’s not.”

“Not everything’s about Ron, Harry. And where is he, anyway? Still in his room?”

“Yes, and you’re avoiding the issue. What happened after you took my cloak?”

Hermione stopped and placed her measuring cylinder down on the desk with a heavy clunk. “Nothing! Okay? Nothing! Just stop asking me stupid questions that I don’t want to answer and I’ll be fine!” Her voice came out in a harsh whisper. Neville looked up in alarm form beside them.

“I’d shut up if I were you Harry, especially if you want to keep your head. And I’m not just talking about Snape wanting to dismantle you.”

“Sorry, Hermione.” The brunette offered him a small reluctant smile. “I’m more worried about Hermione attacking me for being an idiot today…Snape isn’t exactly his usual bitter self right now.”

“Yeah. He didn’t even flinch when I knocked over my cauldron.”

Rather than resorting to his usual stress-inducing tactics by skulking through the wavering rows of desks in hope of startling a student into burning their cauldron, Snape remained at his desk, marking work with a vehement scowl displayed on his face. Occasionally, his critical eyes scanned the busy class, but not once did he rise to his feet.

An uneasy atmosphere had settled upon the class. They were never fans of Snape’s derision, but to be left without it was entirely unsettling. They worked in silence, hoping that this about-face attitude wouldn’t subside too quickly. When the clock struck four, Snape begrudgingly gave them permission to leave.

“I want your work bottled and on my desk before you leave. Oh, and Mr. Potter?” Harry, who had been slowly pushing his essay into his bag, lifted his head, looking shifty. “I had forgotten to collect in the set work but thank you for reminding me.”

The class groaned in unison and it wasn’t just the Slytherins throwing Harry dirty looks.

Hermione corked her flagon, wiped around its neck to ensure there was no overspill and then carefully applied a label with her neatly printed name on it. After shaking it vigorously, she picked up her bag and pulled out her homework. Which she had, incidentally, been thinking about not handing it in, as an avoidance ploy.

“Ready to go?” asked Harry. Hermione nodded.

“I can’t believe Ron didn’t turn up for Potions,” she said in a low tone. “Someone needs to talk to him,” she added pointedly.

“I will later,” answered Harry, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Don’t look so worried.”

They joined the throng of students heading to the door, planning to leave their bags in Gryffindor Tower and stay there for a while before dinner.

“Miss Granger.”

Hermione froze. Oh, Lord. Here it comes. She swivelled as gradually as possible, refusing eye contact with the tall Slytherin.

“Please stay behind, I wish to speak with you.”

Hermione nodded, accepting her doom. Harry lingered, looking between his friend and his Potions Master, feeling awkward.

“I er…”

“Miss Granger does not need you as an escort, Mr. Potter. I said I wanted to speak to her, not eat her.”

Unwillingly, Harry turned and made his way to the door. Snape remained still until the door had closed with a soft click. Then he made his way to his desk and sat down behind it. His elbows rested on his desk, his chin resting on his bridged hands. Hermione noticed how his black hair slipped from behind his ears over his eyes and the way he irritably pushed it back. That was the reason she tried to always wear it back in classes. Maybe one she would suggest the idea to him. Not a blue scrunchie, obviously. Perhaps a black ribbon would look nice? Wait. Was she seriously suggesting offering her surly professor hair tips?

No. You’re furious with him and you’re not going to let him get away with a snide comment or insult. Not this time. And you’re certainly not going to think about his hair.

Closing her eyes temporarily, Hermione recomposed herself. Neither of them had spoken yet and they’d been silent for more than a minute.

Breaking the stillness, she opened her mouth. “Professor, I-”

Suddenly, Snape raised his head to look directly at her and spoke, cutting her off. Hermione swallowed her words.

“I apologise.”

Hermione had to gape at him for a full ten seconds before she comprehended what he had just said.

“You-”

“Apologise. I know it’s uncommon, but you might want to close your mouth before you start catching flies, Miss Granger. I apologise for behaving in such an uncouth manner and for, as you say, ‘jerking you around by your emotions’. I was severely wrong to do so.”

At first, Hermione felt like pushing the apology back into his expressionless face, but then she realised something. It must have taken him a lot to come out and say it. Even if it sounded stiff and informal, he probably had no experience of anyone wanting him to apologise; they’d probably just shoved him aside. But Hermione had been shoved aside too in the past. She knew however he uttered his apology, he deserved for her to accept it with good graces.

She took a breath. “Thank you.”

He bowed his head slightly. “It isn’t necessary. I’ve never understood why people should say thank you for those reasons when they were the one to be harmed in the first place.”

“Perhaps it makes them feel that they were worth the apology. It someone wants you to forgive them, it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. That’s reason enough for thanks.”

“Perhaps so.” He was watching her intently now. “I will attempt fervently not to cross paths or inconvenience you again like this, Miss Granger. Good day.” Snape leaned back in his chair and began rifling through some papers.

Hermione didn’t leave, but resumed staring at him again, mentally repeating what he’d just said.

“May I ask what was the point of asking to be forgiven when you have a finishing statement like that?”

Snape looked up. “Excuse me?”

“’I will attempt fervently not to cross paths with you or inconvenience you again’?”

Snape’s face was unreadable. Hermione’s face wasn’t angry; it looked close to hurt.

“You do realise that some of the only times I have felt safe and definitely not an inconvenience after last year, was when you found me in the Shrieking Shack? Or when you told me you knew how I felt and wanted to help me?”

He still didn’t answer, pressing Hermione to go further, both in her steps and her words. She came closer to his desk and rested her hands on it, meeting his eyes. Her voice became softer.

“Please tell me why I woke up from a nightmare and thought you were the best person to come to. Not Ron, not Harry, not even Professor McGonagall, for crying out loud! You! Even after you told me I was in your way and that you were sick of the sight of me, when Ron came back, I automatically thought of you. I couldn’t go to you, but I found you anyway and then it all came out and you might have apologised but it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to you!”

Severus watched as the girl’s soft tone erupted into a much louder, stronger voice. It wasn’t anger he could hear. Strangely enough, it seemed as though she was pleading with him. For what? His company? No-one was fool enough to want that. But then, why was she here, talking to him like this…oh, Merlin she was crying now.

He shifted in his chair awkwardly as a tear escaped one of her brown eyes. She wiped it away hastily.

“But it makes a difference to me! You’re in here-” she tapped on the side of her head. “In my head. Because you seem to be the only person who knows how to get everything else out. I was avoiding it just fine until you came along with that horrible potion and brought it all up again. I can only do so much ‘homework’ and I can’t distract myself with the N.E.W.T’s because I know full well that I could have passed them in fifth year. I can’t even find things to do with Ron and Harry anymore after finding out about Charlie.”

She stopped for breath, not even noticing Severus had risen form his seat, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “You could have been my security and helped me, but you’re not, and now I’m supposed to go home and act like nothing ever happened, and have Ron hate me for as long as he wants. I can’t do it! I can’t-”

She broke into tears. Severus stood by her uneasily until she wiped them away and steadied her breathing. In all honesty, he hadn’t the faintest idea of what to do. Though some had exited his classroom trying to fight back their tears unsuccessfully, he had never experience a student break down in front of him before and didn’t know how to react. Somehow, scorn was pushed away and he could only watch, helplessly.

“I think I’m the one who was the inconvenience, Professor Snape,” she said almost too quiet for him to hear. Then she adjusted her school bag and left, the door slamming shut behind her.

Severus stared after her. “You can do it,” he replied before sitting down heavily. That’s why he’d thought he could help her in the first place. Not because she had been hurt and needed someone to turn to, because she had it in her to help herself.


A/N: Sorry for the long wait in between chapters, but my PC only arrived back from the shop yesterday. Ding dong, the virus is gone :) Imagine my surprise when the computer actually remains on for long than 20 minutes. Anyway, thanks for your lovely reviews, you're all fantastic for bearing with me.
I've also got some more perspective on this story. There will be some in the way of romance, but there will more stage time given for that in the sequel.


I Don't Want To Be Alone by DistinctVagueness [Reviews - 6]

<< >>

Disclaimers
Terms of Use
Credits

Ashwinder
A Severus Snape/Hermione Granger archive in the Harry Potter universe

Copyright © 2003-2019 Sycophant Hex
All rights reserved