The night was well into its darkest hour, and the moon was new. Severus could not see the witch ahead of him on the path, following only the sound of her footsteps as her small feet crunched through a fresh blanket of snow. He heard her breath quicken when she spotted a light in the distance only a second before he noticed it himself. He widened his stride as she doubled her pace, and he kept his wand drawn and ready to defend her with his life.



He loved her.



His guilt kept him away from her, but he loved her still. He’d been drawn to her since the end of the war when she had come to his rescue in the Shrieking Shack. He hadn’t expected to live past the final battle after being injected with Nagini’s venom and losing so much blood, but he had eventually opened his eyes to see the morning light creeping in though a hole in the ceiling. Hermione had been standing in that ray of light, calling his name before kneeling to mend his wounds.



He was her professor once again, and she was his student. It took every bit of his will power to treat her accordingly. Her presence in his life made him feel even more alive than he had felt with Lily, whether she was talking to him, sitting quietly in his classroom, or simply walking past him in the corridors. He didn’t know how he could be so old, yet feeling a different kind of love for the first time.



He felt inadequate and silly when she looked at him sometimes, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to interact with her at every opportunity. He watched over her always, which was why he presently followed her into a small forest on the other side of Hogsmeade. It was too dark, she was too vulnerable, and even though she was older than most of the other students, it was too late for her to be out of the castle.



He slipped farther away from her as she approached a quaint cottage that was hidden behind a thicket, and she used her whole body to push open the wooden door. His ears caught the sweet sound of her laughter as she closed the door behind her. He then understood that she was meeting someone and was in no danger, but years of spying had left him unable to respect her privacy.



He approached a window where the curtain was pulled open just enough, and a piece of his heart broke with every movement of Hermione’s body that his eyes dared to witness.



**



Lucius watched her step into the cottage where she became the center of his little fantasy world in which she was not a common Muggleborn witch, and he was not the wealthiest wizard in Britain and a former Death Eater.



He smiled in spite of himself at her plump appearance. It was the coldest night of the season so far, and she was wrapped in layer upon layer of robes and scarves. He should be annoyed that she showed her non-magical breeding by wearing so much clothing in lieu of simple warming charms, but he was so smitten with her that he instead found it charming.



Lucius’ eyes watched her fingers as they unbuttoned every article of clothing and unwrapped every piece of cloth from her trembling form. He loved to see her body shake in equal excitement and nervousness while he calmly sipped his Firewhiskey. This was their fifth meeting as lovers, but she always behaved like it was their first time together.



As soon as she was completely naked in front of him, he slammed his empty glass onto a nearby table as he went to her. He picked her up and carried her to a rug in front of the fire, laying her down and kissing her well before he started to remove his shirt and trousers. She returned his steady gaze, which made him frantic to get out of his clothes as soon as possible. He wanted to feel her skin grow warmer against his. He wanted to taste her lips again and again. He wanted her.



He loved her.



He never told her, but he loved her because she was everything that he wasn’t. She was young and innocent. She was honest and loved by many. He didn’t deserve her attention, yet she gave him everything and anything he ever asked of her.



**



Hermione dressed in silence while Lucius stared at a window on the far side of the room. She tied her damp hair at the base of her neck and sighed as the air caressed her skin and dried it while leaving behind a healthy glow. She was as satisfied as she could possibly be in her situation.



A chance meeting at Flourish and Blotts between Hermione and Lucius had turned into exactly the kind of love affair that she needed in order to distract herself from the wanting—the needing—of a man beyond her reach.



Hermione thought about Lucius. He was an infamous dark wizard. He had served Voldemort. His intelligence and magical ability far surpassed most wizards. He had these things in common with Severus, and that’s what drew Hermione to him; she could have Lucius to satisfy her need for Severus.



Hermione turned quickly to Lucius as he snapped to his feet, knocking over his chair in the process. She watched dumbly as he rushed to the door and went outside. When he returned, he was not alone.



She was shocked to see Severus Snape in his custody. Lucius was speaking, but she couldn’t hear his words over the sound of her own heart beating in her ears. She was looking at Severus and he was staring back at her. She instantly knew that he understood what was taking place between her and Lucius. She began to cry in earnest while continuing to look at Severus.



She loved him.



She loved her professor because he was a misunderstood hero. She loved him because she had fixed him when he was broken and had fought beside him in a war that had changed the world. She loved him in a way that wasn’t rational, and it made her feel crazy and weak, but also amazing.



She finally heard Lucius say, “Why are you spying on me, Severus?”



Hermione knew that she was falling apart while the two men in the room were able to keep calm facades, but knowing that she needed to control herself was a far cry from actually being able to do it.



Severus answered, “I’m not spying on you, Lucius. Miss Granger is a student. She is out of bed after hours, and I need to take her back to Hogwarts.”



Hermione stopped Lucius before he could begin to argue. “Please leave, Lucius.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but its message was received.



“Hermione . . .” Lucius began to protest.



She sobbed and said, “Just go.”



She noted a flash of hurt in Lucius’ eyes before his haughty mask was put back into place and he said, “Fine, my little Mudblood. Have it your way.”



Hermione never spared a glance for Lucius as he took his leave, but she did notice Severus flinch at his use of the word, “Mudblood.”



“I—I’m sorry, p—professor,” Hermione stammered.



She watched his demeanor soften a bit and could only assume that her emotional state was the cause. He asked, “Why Lucius Malfoy?”



She had nothing to lose. Everything was ruined anyway, so she saw no reason to keep her feelings secret anymore. “Because I couldn’t have you.”



She cringed as the look on his face transformed from disbelief to pain. He whispered, “Hermione? What have you done to me?”



Her body went numb. She suddenly understood that he cared for her, and it was very obvious to her that she had misjudged his feelings for her. She knew that he meant to leave her alone and sobbing as soon as he opened the door and took one last look at her, but she couldn’t find the right words to say. She didn’t even know if the right words existed.



“I want you . . . I need you,” she whispered into the brisk air that crept in past the open door. Her breath was still hanging visible in the air as Severus turned and fled without a word. “I love you,” she added. Her voice died flat in the empty room as her heart threatened to do the same.