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A Not So Helpless Realization by Ms_Figg [Reviews - 16]

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A Helpless Realization

Hermione Granger walked into the entrance hall to find a scowling Professor Snape standing alone with his fists tightly clenched at his sides. He was trembling slightly. Curious, she walked up to him.

"Are you all right, Professor?" the Gryffindor witch inquired.

Snape looked at her.

"Oh no," he groaned, then, "Go away, you silly girl!"

"But what are you doing? Why are you just—standing here that way?"

"Must you always ask a million questions?"

"I only asked one."

"If you must know, I'm resisting."

"Resisting what?"

"Any unusual inclination to do something I wouldn't normally do."

Hermione's brow creased slightly as she looked at the dark wizard.

"Do you always have to work so hard at it?"

Snape sighed, then just gave up. He relaxed.

"Miss Granger, who is the meanest, most acerbic, sarcastic, bad-tempered teacher at Hogwarts?" he asked her.

"Besides you?"

"Don't be cheeky. You agree that description suits me, do you not?"

Hermione nodded.

"Now look at me. Am I attractive?"

Hermione studied his huge nose, greasy hair and pale skin. She hesitated, then said, "Well, not in the classic sense—"

"AHA!" Snape shouted, pointing a long finger at her. Of course, Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. "You see? It's starting!"

"What's starting?"

Snape looked around the entrance hall then back at Hermione.

"Don't you find anything odd about this situation, Miss Granger?"

Hermione looked around then back at Snape.

"Other than how you're acting? No," she replied.

"It's a Wednesday morning and although both of us should be in class, neither of us is. And there has been no one walking through the entrance hall or descending the stairs. It's like the entire castle is empty except for you and me," Snape said to her.

Hermione's eyes rounded as she looked around the entrance hall again.

"That IS odd," she commented. "What's happening?"

"It's simple, Miss Granger. We are being set up."

Hermione immediately whipped out her wand and spun in place warily.

"Set up by who?" she demanded. "What did they do with the others?"

"Put your wand away. It's not going to help."

"What do you mean?"

Hermione still held on to her wand, her eyes shifting about before resting on Snape again.

"Your response to my question about my attractiveness showed a slight hesitation. You changed your answer mid-point. It should have been 'No.' I am not at all attractive, Miss Granger, yet you stated I don't have 'classic' good looks, which implies that you find me attractive in some other manner. Do you think that's normal?"

Hermione reddened.

"No," she admitted.

"It isn't. We're being manipulated by someone or something. It seems no one else is aware of this, but I have—dreams, very lucid ones of various situations, some completely outrageous, involving—"

Snape stopped talking for a moment and looked down at Hermione, some heat appearing in his black eyes before he shook his head, fighting it.

"Damn it," he hissed, looking up. "Whoever is doing this, stop it!"

"Involving what?"

Snape looked at Hermione again, his eyes resting on her lips.

"Do you want to know the truth?" he asked her.

Hermione suddenly felt Snape had the most beautiful voice in the world.

"Yes," she whispered. She felt a strange sensation in her belly as she looked up at him.

"Involving you and I engaging in the most sensual, erotic, and often brutal sexual acts known to the wizarding world," he purred at her.

Hermione stared at him, her heart beginning to pound as she realized she'd actually like that. What the hell was going on?

"As I said, these dreams are lucid—so lucid I'm inclined to believe they've actually happened. I can describe your body intimately, every inch of it," he said softly, taking a step toward her. Hermione's feet felt as if they were fastened to the ground. She didn't—couldn't move.

"We're being manipulated," he breathed at her. "Something is controlling our lives—causing us to act—out of character."

Snape suddenly leaned down and captured Hermione's lips and she felt as if she were being covered in warm honey as desire flowed down her body and pooled between her thighs.

Snape pulled back, his eyes slightly wet as he felt his own desire.

"Apparently, this time there's no story or adventure. Strictly—lust. I can't—I can't resist it."

"Don't," Hermione said softly, leaning toward him.

"Blast whatever this is!" Snape suddenly snarled, sweeping Hermione up into his arms and carrying her down the dungeon entrance.

So much for fighting unusual inclinations.

* * *

"Damn," Ruth said to herself as Snape carried Hermione off to his private quarters a la the words on her computer screen. She had been trying to write for her fanfic, "A Dark Scenario" but couldn't, so just tried some light writing to pass the time. It had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

It seemed Snape was onto her and everyone else who was writing about him.

"These fictional characters get more and more cognizant every day. It's just scary," she sighed, saving the story, pushing away from her desk and going to make some tea.

She'd try again later.

* * *

"There. It's finished," Hermione said, taking a seat.

Snape folded his hands behind his back and stood behind her.

"I'll start it," Hermione said softly, an evil little grin on her face as she began.

* * *

Ruth was seated at her computer as usual, when suddenly she was struck by the urge to take a shower and put on her beaded tunic and cotton skirt. She had already showered once today and hadn't exerted herself, but that didn't deter her.

She did just that, washing and conditioning her dreadlocks, drying herself thoroughly then lotioning her body from head to toe. She blow-dried her hair and dressed herself, putting on beaded hooped earrings, a matching bracelet and necklace. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like an island native.

She found herself exiting her apartment and walking down past the office, to apartment 223. She knocked. The door opened.

"Well, hello there," Calvin the maintenance man said, pushing back his cowboy hat and smiling at her pleasantly. "What brings you here?"

"I—I don't know, but I want to come in," she said.

Both of Calvin's eyebrows rose and he stepped aside.

"Mi casa es su casa," he replied. Ruth slowly walked past him and he stuck his head out the door, looking left and right, then smiled. He withdrew and closed the door.

No one had seen her enter.

* * *

Hermione finished typing on the Imperio 2000 computer she'd designed. It ran off a magical generator and they'd set it up in the Shrieking Shack. Hogwarts contained too much magic for electronic equipment to work there, but the shack was just fine.

The Imperio 2000 was the answer to the fanfiction problem. If people in the real world were going to manipulate Harry Potter characters, then it was only fair they should get a taste of the pie as well.

The screen glowed with a dark green light as it worked its magic. Ruth and her surroundings were being caught and manipulated by the Imperio spell which was amplified and magically connected to whatever text was written on the screen. She'd been placed in a very compromising situation by Hermione.

"Time for me to take over," Snape purred, an amused glint in his dark eyes as Hermione poised her fingers over the keyboard, ready to take dictation.

"I only hope for her sake our author, 'Ms_Figg,' has a strong constitution and a very weak gag reflex," the Potions master quipped as Hermione chuckled.

"And just think, there's a thousand more like her to take revenge upon. They're all in the database. I've collected them from Ashwinder, the WIKTT Archives, Granger Enchanted, the Online Wizarding Library, the Petulant Poetess, Adult Fanfiction.net and a few other places on the internet. This is going to be terribly fun," Hermione said, her brown eyes narrowed in anticipation.

"Indeed it is," Snape agreed. "Now then—"

The End (Or maybe not.)

* * *

A/N: I got this idea after reading a short two chaptered story called "Oh No! A Fanfic" by Lue'cleste on fanfiction.net where Snape realizes he's in a fan fic and runs to warn everyone. They know it too. Dumbledore's way of dealing with it is to sleep through it so he's not involved. Minerva complains how the author only likes him and the rest of them catch hell. Hermione was in it but not as a love interest. Lots of OOC moments for Snape. He plays with kittens and cries a lot. It was pretty funny. So, I just wrote a "Snape realizes he's in a fanfic" one shot, but with him and Hermione. In a number of stories, Snape and Hermione are alone in the castle for absolutely no good reason. Lol. So I just used that well-established scenario. Hope this gave you a smile. Thanks for reading.

A Not So Helpless Realization by Ms_Figg [Reviews - 16]

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