‘You got me banned from Hogsmeade!’ Ginny held Hermione back from the DA meeting, clearly furious that she would miss the Christmas shopping trip.

‘Ginny, he wanted to hand you over to the Carrows!’ lied Hermione. ‘Would you rather be chained up in the dungeon like Euan?’

Ginny grinned, her anger suddenly forgotten. ‘That was really brave of you. He was so chuffed to have next week’s homework done already.’

‘I didn’t mean the Carrows to catch us,’ Hermione whispered, grimacing. ‘I had to take him to Snape and then try to influence his punishment. Snape was so angry about the graffiti, banning you from Hogsmeade was the only thing I could think of that didn’t involve the Cruciatus Curse! I told him you’d be devastated because Fred and George are starting up a Hogsmeade branch.’

‘But they’re not!’

‘I know that, but Snape doesn’t, does he?’

Hermione was realising that spying was nearly a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. She understood now why Severus always used to be so irritable. And he had been alone. At least he now had her, and she had her friends back. Even Lavender, Parvati and Seamus were being nice to her now she appeared to be defying and deceiving Snape.

This meeting had been a quick lunchtime get-together for Hermione to explain the theory of Occlumency to the three leaders. Neville and Luna had already left for afternoon lessons, and Hermione was itching to leave the Room of Requirement herself. She had a free period now, which she was going to spend with Severus, learning Legilimency – and trying to come up with a good cover story for why she had done so.

‘Fine, I forgive you,’ Ginny said, smiling. ‘Got to go – got Divination in North Tower!’ She streaked away, red hair flying.

Hermione continued down to the second floor alone, lost in contemplation of what lie she could possibly come up with to explain why Severus had suddenly decided to teach her Legilimency.

So she didn’t see the two Snatchers creep up behind her, she didn’t see Amycus Carrow leering round the corner as they Stunned her, and she didn’t realise she had been kidnapped until she was in the Ministry of Magic.

*

Scabior was heartily wishing he’d not revived Hermione until he’d got her inside Courtroom Seven – at least there the Dementors would subdue her. But Apparating with the dead weight of a Stunned person was difficult, and Scabior, in his own words was “bloody knackered”.

Now she was conscious, and conscious of what was happening to her, Hermione was putting up such a fight, the portraits were all running into each others’ frames to follow her along the corridors.

‘You can’t do this!’ Hermione screamed, thrashing in Scabior’s grip. ‘I did what you wanted. I married him!’ But as he dragged her down the stairs to the courtroom, she felt a tell-tale chill and all the fight went out of her. She immediately stopped screaming, knowing that the wider she opened her mouth to scream, the more likely the dozens of Dementors were to try and suck the soul out of her. Whimpering and moaning, Hermione was half-dragged, half-carried into the courtroom and dumped in the chair in the centre. When the golden chains on the chair snaked their way up her arms, she began to cry.

‘Thank you, Scabior. You may go.’ The girlish voice was horribly familiar. Dolores Umbridge was smiling down at the weeping Hermione with an ugly sort of leer on her toad-like face. She was also twirling Hermione’s wand in her short, stubby fingers.

Hermione raised her tear-stained face. ‘I… d… don’t understand,’ she stammered. ‘I haven’t broken the law. I sh… shouldn’t be here!’

‘We are not here to examine your magical heritage, Mrs Snape,’ said Umbridge sweetly. ‘As you so loudly informed us just now, your marital status makes you immune from that line of interrogation. No. What we wish to ascertain from you is the whereabouts of Harry Potter.’

Hermione was shocked out of her crying. ‘Harry? I don’t know. I haven’t had any contact with him, I swear!’

‘Come now, Mrs Snape. We all know you and Mr Potter are thick as thieves, so you will save yourself a lot of unpleasantness if you just tell us where he is.’

‘I don’t know!’ Hermione whimpered, looking fearfully over her shoulder at the Dementors flanking the walls. Umbridge’s hateful cat-Patronus was stalking around the interrogator’s desk, but its influence didn’t stretch as far as Hermione. It glowed brighter as Umbridge’s voice rose shrilly.

‘Your magical heritage may not be in question here, Mrs Snape, but let me assure you, the punishment for obstructing this Committee remains the same. If you persist in proclaiming your innocence, you will be taken to Azkaban. If you resist, you will be subjected to the Dementor’s Kiss.’

Hermione burst into tears, trembling in her chains. ‘C… call Severus,’ she choked out between heaving sobs. ‘He’ll tell you I haven’t contacted Harry!’

‘Ah, yes, your husband.’ Umbridge’s voice became even more girlishly sweet as she savoured the coup de grace. ‘But is it a true marriage, or is “Miss” still the most appropriate title for you? I hear from certain sources that it might well be.’

The little colour in Hermione’s face left it as she realised what Umbridge meant. How did she know? thought Hermione wildly. How did Umbridge know she and Severus hadn’t… Carrow! Amycus Carrow must have realised from that short, embarrassing argument with Severus after he had attacked her in class all those weeks ago.

Tears still pouring down her face, she sobbed, ‘I don’t know where Harry is, I swear! I haven’t spoken to him! And I am married!’ Her voice rose to a scream. ‘I am married, and I WANT MY HUSBAND!’

‘Accio Mrs Snape’s wand!’

Hermione nearly fainted with relief as Severus burst through the courtroom door, aiming his own wand directly at Umbridge. Hermione’s wand soared through the air, and Severus caught it deftly.

‘Well, Madam Undersecretary.’ Severus’ voice was sleek with fury. ‘That would appear to answer your question. The wand recognises our marriage. This session is unlawful, and you will release my wife this instant.’ He was still pointing his wand at Umbridge, who seemed too stunned to retaliate.

Severus said, ‘Relashio!’ and, despite the fact his wand was still pointed at the interrogators’ bench, the chains binding Hermione fell off instantly. He threw her wand to her, and, to her own amazement, she caught it too.

That shocked Umbridge into speech. ‘Now see here, Snape,’ she shrieked. ‘You haven’t got the authority to…’

Severus cut her off mid-sentence. ‘There is nothing in the Marriage Law which entitles the Ministry to pry into the sexual activities of its subjects. I repeat: this court is unlawful.’

‘I want to know where Harry Potter is, Snape!’ Umbridge screamed hysterically. ‘And she knows; I know it! She will tell me!’ Umbridge pointed her wand at Hermione. ‘Imperi…’

‘STUPEFY!’ roared Severus, then turned his attention to Yaxley, who appeared to come out of some sort of shocked trance as his superior crumpled to the floor.

With its caster unconscious, the silver cat-Patronus disappeared, and Hermione let out a little squeak of fear as she felt the Dementors closing in on her. Gripping her wand, she concentrated on the only happy thought she could at the moment: Severus was here! In her terror, she had called out to him, and he had come to rescue her.

Out of her wand burst a shining silver animal, but it wasn’t her usual otter. It was big, and it had wings – some sort of bird? Hermione couldn’t focus on it enough to make it out; it was taking all her strength just to keep it between her and the Dementors.

As Yaxley slumped over his desk, Stupefied, she felt her concentration slipping, and the Patronus flickered and died. Before the Dementors could make their move, however, Severus had grabbed her hand and was pulling her out of the courtroom. Speeding along the corridor, hand in hand with her husband, Hermione panted, ‘How did you know? I was yelling for you, and you just appeared!’

‘Everard saw you being brought down here from his portrait. He hastened to my office to inform me.’

‘Severus, I don’t think I can Apparate; I can hardly stand.’ As they skidded to a halt in the Atrium, Hermione swayed alarmingly, and Severus caught her before she fell. He wrapped his arms around her, held her close, and Apparated them both back to Hogwarts.

*
The walk up to the school had never seemed so far; Hermione was still shaking from her ordeal, so when she stumbled on a rocky patch and nearly fell, Severus caught her around the waist and, in one swift movement, swung her up into his arms. He carried her all the way through the grounds and up to the second floor – where they almost ran into a shocked Professor McGonagall.

‘Headmaster! What are you doing with Hermione?’ she demanded.

‘It seems that despite my exhaustive defensive strategies, I still have a bit of a security problem. My wife was abducted from the school and interrogated by the Muggle-born Registration Committee. Apparently they believed she had been communicating with Potter.’

‘How on earth did Ministry officials get in here? I shall have to strengthen the Stealth Sensors in the castle.’

Severus snorted. ‘It seems Amycus Carrow is resentful of my status as headmaster and, to use the common phrase, shopped her. I imagine he let the Snatchers into the castle.’

‘But she’s married! She’s immune!’

‘They believed ours is not an entirely binding union.’

‘But Filius and I signed the register… Oh!’ McGonagall gasped as she realised what he meant.

‘Minerva,’ Severus lowered his voice. ‘I would be grateful if you would keep this knowledge to yourself. For Hermione’s sake.’

Minerva looked down at Hermione, shock replaced by concern. She hadn’t reacted to the conversation, but she didn’t appear to be Imperiused or drugged, nor did she seem passively resigned. The girl was actually enjoying being in the Headmaster’s arms. Her face was turned away, into his shoulder, and she was nestled into him like a lover, like a bride being carried over the threshold. Minerva wondered what Snape had done to merit that.

‘Of course, Headmaster. I shall go and see to those Stealth Sensors at once.’

*
He carried her into their sitting room, lowered her onto the sofa, and pushed a glass of Firewhisky into her hand. It burnt her throat as it went down, but it did stop her shaking. When she felt back to herself, she ventured to ask, ‘Did you see my Patronus?’

‘No. I was too busy dealing with Yaxley.’

She took a deep breath. ‘It’s changed. It’s always been an otter, but in the courtroom, it was a bat.’

‘Charming,’ Severus snorted. ‘You do realise half the people in this castle call me that behind my back?’ He was making light of it, but she could see he was startled.

She matched his teasing tone. ‘It’s your own fault. Sweeping round the castle with your robes billowing behind you!’ Seeing his offended expression, she laughed. ‘Don’t worry; I think it’s sexy!’

He stared at her, completely non-plussed, and she realised that never before had he been told he was at all attractive. After a lifetime of being laughed at for her buck-teeth and frizzy hair, she understood that and, in that instant, made her decision.

‘Severus? Take me to bed. Please.’

‘Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because of Umbridge are you? Because I was right, there is nothing explicit in the Marriage Law about…’

She pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. ‘I called you my husband for the first time ever in that courtroom. I want you to make that true in every sense.’ And, rising from the sofa, she took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

Crookshanks tried to follow them in, but Severus scooped him up and very firmly set him down outside the bedroom door.

By the time he came back in, Hermione had lost her nerve. She just stood there, facing him, without a clue where to start. Severus took charge, taking her in his arms and dipping his head to kiss her. She had never been more aware of the difference in their heights, but by standing on tiptoe and leaning into his arms she was able to respond.

When he released her, he took the initiative again, pushing her robes onto the floor, carefully unbuttoning her school shirt, and unzipping her skirt, steadying her so she could step out of it.

Wild thoughts chased through Hermione’s brain. I shouldn’t be wearing my school uniform for my first time. I should be wearing a slinky dress or a gorgeous nightie or something. She suddenly felt acutely embarrassed by her white cotton bra and briefs. Little-girl-clothes, she thought. All wrong for a married woman. She crossed her arms over her breasts, hugging herself self-consciously.

Severus gently unwound her arms from her chest. ‘Don’t cover yourself, Hermione,’ he told her firmly. ‘You’re beautiful.’ Kissing her again, he reached around her back to unclasp her bra and Hermione gasped as her breasts were freed from the confines of the fabric. He knelt down in front of her, and she caught her breath as his fingers hooked into the waistband of her knickers and gently pulled then down. He placed her hands on his shoulders to steady her as she stepped out of them, and she suddenly wanted to cover herself again, but then she felt tiny, fluttery kisses being dropped onto her belly, and she whimpered with pleasure. When he stood up, she felt bereft.

The appreciative look Severus gave her, the way his breathing quickened as his eyes swept her figure gave her confidence, and she reached up to pull off his professor’s gown and unbutton his coat. She managed to get his shirt unbuttoned and, with a daring that surprised her, ran her hands up his chest to slip it off his shoulders.

She reached out to undo his belt, but when her hands bushed against the bulge at his fly, they shook too badly to manage the buttons. He had to take pity on her and divest himself of the rest of his clothes. Severus’ skin was pale and his frame skinny, but he had faintly defined biceps and pectoral muscles (probably from years of carrying heavy cauldrons around the Potions lab). His stomach was flat and taut and he had a thin line of dark hair running down from his navel.

Hermione’s eyes followed the line downwards, and her eyes widened. Severus sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her down to sit on his lap. ‘It seems I am forever saying this, but we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.’

‘I do want to; it’s just… I’m… I haven’t… I’ve never…’

‘You are a virgin,’ he stated calmly.

She nodded, embarrassed, stole another look down and gulped slightly.

Severus tilted her chin up with his forefinger and bestowed on her a genuine smile. ‘Oh, Hermione, you are such a tonic for my ego! But if you want to stop, just tell me.’

But he started to kiss her, one hand holding her close to him, the other caressing her breasts, drawing small circles around her nipples, and soon she didn’t want him to stop, not ever.

A little while later, Severus swept her into his arms, carried her to the bed and laid her gently down on it. Propping himself up on his elbows as he lay above her, he looked down at her, concerned.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you ready?’

She was so ready she felt she might just die if she had to wait any longer, and the answer came out as a moan as she pulled him down to kiss her. ‘Yes! Oh, yes, please!’

And a little while after that, they became husband and wife in every sense.

*
A/N: The ‘exhaustive defensive strategies' line is from the final film.