Fields Of Innocence

By DistinctVagueness

She lay still, knowing that any sign of movement would bring the wrath of her watcher’s wand upon her yet again. Scarlet dripped steadily from the slash across her forehead and she bit back a moan at the pain that raged through her heavy head.

Please, she prayed silently, please, finish it. Let it be done with. She no longer knew which deity she was calling upon. What did it matter? Any god could answer, as long as they granted her desperate plea.

Although aching to pull her head from the stony ground, she kept her body rigid and slowed her breathing. The tall man, no longer masquerading in black and cruel silver, kept his icy blue eyes fixed on her at all times, except to take a quick glance at the battle going on, not so far away.

A whisper cut across her thoughts, and she had to forcefully stop herself from starting at the sudden noise.

“Be she alive or dead?”

“Does it matter?” Callous laughter pained her ears. “She is as good as dead if she wakes.”

A harsh voice reprimanded him. “Do not be so confident. You know who she is,” it hissed. “The Dark Lord told us to watch her. She is too powerful to be contained by the likes of us. The redheaded one was nothing, but she poses a challenge. Until Potter is beaten down, she must not be allowed to disturb the fulfilment of the prophecy. Do so and you know the price upon your head. Do not fail.”

A cold shiver tiptoed down her spine, playing havoc with her ability to restrain any outburst. Ron was gone, or so she feared. Harry was their only chance. Again she repeated her fraught prayer.

No one was listening. Not if the screams she could hear in the near distance were those of her allies, friends. Unbidden, a lone tear slid down her cheek.

“Stupefy!”

Her whole body tensed, awaiting the punishment for ruining the façade of unconsciousness. It never came. Still too fearful to open her eyes, she curled even more tightly in on herself.

“No…not now. How can you…” The voice, once deep and rich, broke. Hesitantly, and not without great trepidation, she turned and slowly opened her eyes.

It was him.

He took in a breath. “Thank Merlin,” he murmured. “Not after Weasley…not again…”

The watery shield covering her eyes dissolved. She didn’t know what to feel. Relief, terror, fear all ran as one powerful stream, and any words she was trying to make were lost.

Uncertain hands, gripped her shoulders. “Don’t cry,” he spoke softly. “It is almost over. Potter…he is overcoming him at last. You fought well. You can rest.”

As she stilled her tears, she noticed the torn robes and staining bruises. An ugly scratch ran the length of his face, the blood drying. He followed her eyes. Eyes without prejudice or judging.

“Scars heal,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Not all,” she replied quietly.


I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now


He untangled himself from the sheets, pulling away from them, and placed his feet on the cold floor. She watched him, her eyes betraying the hurt, as he pulled on the clothes lying haphazardly across a nearby chair. The speed, at which he did this, injured her even more.

“You’re leaving me again?” she asked. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, the red sheets were pulled tightly around her but gave her neither warmth nor comfort.

He stopped. “You have never asked me to stay.” he replied. Bending slightly, he extinguished the flickering flames from the dying candle with a single breath. Grey smoke rose dreamily upwards.

“I thought it was a request that didn’t need to be spoken.”

A range of conflicting emotions swept over his face. “Then it will not be fulfilled,” he answered her cruelly. His meaning struck her like a slap to the face, stinging, but with no marks to show for it. She watched as he started towards the door.

“Stay,” she cried out. He turned, his black eyes revealing no answers. Rising from the bed, still clasping the sheets to her body, she spoke again.

“Tell me this, Severus. Is it Hermione you visit my rooms every night for, whispering promises of love until you get what you want, or is Hermione’s body, using my love, my vulnerability, to seek a release before you leave me?”

There was one answer she wished and ached for, but one answer she knew she would receive. An answer, which would make her decision for her.

“You already know,” he said, turning again. When she spoke, her words caught in her throat.

“Then I must go. Before I can’t bear to.”

“Then go.”


Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all


Winter sun broke through the window pane as he watched the scene outside. It’s rays stretched across the cloud-scattered sky, streaking brilliant red and orange on a cold canvas. It felt wrong that colours so vibrant were allowed to paint on an unfamiliar, unfeeling backdrop.


I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now.


The sight he’d been dreading to see before he’d even began to gaze out of the glass, entered the scene. She walked quickly, clutching her trunk in one hand, her other hand checking the pocket of her robe, ensuring that her wand, her security was still there. Suddenly, she stopped her steps. He hardly dared hope. Would she reconsider, run in the opposite direction? Run back to him?

Banishing these thoughts, he admonished himself. Would you reciprocate? He asked himself. No, you callous bastard. You would hurt her again, as you always do, concealing your need for her. I doubt she would return again.

As if hearing his warning, Hermione carried on again, coming closer and closer to the gate. Severus tore his eyes from the window. He could not watch any longer, without nails through his feet to the wood below him, to stop him from chasing after her, only to harm her again.

No. She deserved more than that. She deserved light. His presence only dragged her into the depths of darkness; exactly what he had promised an escape from on their first night together. Pain for himself he could bear, being the cause of it for Hermione nearly killed him.



Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

But knowing nothing at all.


A/N: The lyrics used for this song ficlet are that of ‘Fields of Innocence’ by Evanescence.