Everything belongs to JKR.

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"Mum."

"Dad. Mum," he scoffed, "...such the paradigm."

Severus and Hermione lay snuggled in their bed with little Mona tightly nestled between them, discussing what her very first word would be.

"Fine, git then," she replied.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Bossy."

"Greasy."

"Bushy."

"Bat."

"Chipmunk."

"Snivellus!" cried Hermione.

"Insufferable-know-it-all."

"That is more than one word."

"Not if it's hyphenated, my dear."

"Harry..." came a barely audible voice below.

Both parents immediately propped up on their shoulders and looked at each other with their mouths opened, completely gobsmacked.

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Well, how is that for a paradigm?" she giggled.