Can you know how much I love you?
How I long to comfort you?
How I wish to rescue you from the hell of your own creation?
No you are strong of course you are
In need of no rescue;
In need of nothing.
No love, no comfort, no recognition of vulnerable humanity;
You only need
To be left alone.
I know this. Make no mistake
You are as much a fool as I am if you suspect for a minute
That my love for you is a sign of weakness.
It is not. Oh, no not at all.
My love is my strength, and sees the impossible
And wills it to be possible, against all odds.
It caused me to give up my comfortable, automatic future.
It would have been so easy
If I were willing to settle for less.
But you are worth it. Worth the fight.
And thus, it is vicious warfare I am determined to wage
In order to conquer you.
So tell me this, Severus:
(for I have pondered the same);
Is it a sign of intelligence to conquer something not worth winning?
If you were to conquer it, what would you find?
Would you find the happiness that you long for?
And if not, who really is the fool here?
Do I really have to tell you the truth?
No; you already know the answer.
You have known it for years, and
That is the testimony of your integrity.
You have walked on bitter roads unknown to other mortals.
You know that eternity will not bring you heaven, but rather an eternal hell.
A hell, yes, of seeing them in bliss, and you eternally alone, watching and lost.
And yet, out of love, out of guilt,
You are determined to achieve it, no matter the cost to your own soul.
Or do you, supreme magician,
Still long for an impossible magic that could never exist in this world or the next?
I do not understand you.
Why cant you see? You can let go.
There is redemption in this world that reaches to the world beyond.
This redemption is love that heals and redeems the utterly lost.
It is sure and it is eternal
And yet you would deny it, seeking the magical and the impossible.
And so, here we are:
Me, trying to convince you
That love is worthwhile, love freely given,
Love that gives back to you,
Love that you could somehow cherish
Love that would save you, and
Love that would help you be everything you were ever meant to be
Stumbling amidst your own stubborn ignorance
(and oh, how much you will hate to read these words!
you so wise, so superior, and so remarkably intelligent!)
Yet so utterly lost, and never seeing the simple truth:
That love heals
But first, you have to accept love,
And stop hiding
And yes, show courage
And embrace all of the threats that life brings.
So think, my love.
It is not too late, not as long as life and love endure.
I am not her.
But no one
Ever said I needed to be.