Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I wish they were, but they belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing her toys and promise to return them.
Note: Originally written for Snape 100, for the prompt, "Snape's List."
Ways to Woo Hermione Granger:
1. Select Granger as apprentice; hope that she’ll eventually notice my secret passion for her.
2. Have daft Marriage Law passed requiring Granger to marry me; convince her of the suitability of the arrangement with great sex.
3. Arrange for Granger to have Time-Turner accident, forcing her back in time to my adolescence; win her sympathies. Bonus: may correct mistakes re: the Lily affair.
4. Make Granger aware of painful, long-suffering life of a martyr to the light; hope pity turns to love.
5. Be myself, and attempt customary flirting rituals. (Note: success unlikely)
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