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A Taste Of Silence by YsM [Reviews - 7]

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Disclaimer: never did and never will own it. J.K. Rowling does.
Spoilers: Goblet of Fire



~ A Taste Of Silence - Putting Words In Your Head ~



It was very late in the evening and Severus was cleaning the workbench, having put his potion aside for cooling and testing the following day. The day opened silently and a small hand tentatively reached for his arm. He stiffened and turned the head to look straight into chocolate brown eyes.

“Miss Granger, though we have worked closely together recently, it doesn’t allow you to touch me. And you should be in your dormitory by this hour. Go to bed before I assign you a detention.”

He stared at her lips, nervously waiting for her to mouth her reasons for being here so late, for letting her hand on his arm. Her fingers slowly glided to his hand and a jolt of electricity coursed through his body at the contact of her skin against his. Her brow furrowed slightly and he wondered what was wrong.

“I… can put words… in your head.”

He went rigid. Surely he was dreaming. She had not moved her lips – his gaze had remained glued to them, so he was sure of it – she had not conjured fiery letters either but it had seemed as if the words had been ringing in his head. His eyes went up, meeting hers.

“Do you… hear me?”

Her words were agonisingly slow, as if she couldn’t exactly remember them.

“Yes… yes, I hear you,” he muttered, stunned.

A brief smile played on her lips.

“It is… hard,” she mind-said, before stopping as if catching her breath. “I can only if… if I touch you.”

“Does anyone else know?”

She shook her head. Obviously, the effort was still too great for her. Severus felt oddly pleased that she hadn’t shared her discovery with anyone but him.

“How did you practice?”

“I… didn’t. This was my first… first attempt.”

She raised her free hand and gently brushed it against his cheek, her eyes never leaving his. A shiver ran through him and he felt as if there was a quiet presence in a corner of his mind. Suddenly, a disagreeable thought came to him.

“Can you see what I’m thinking?” he asked angrily.

He felt her presence recoil and she dropped her hand. She shook her head before running away. As he watched her back disappear by the door, he thought guiltily that even if she had access to his thoughts, she would not have pried on them. He couldn’t help thinking that the brightness in her eyes had been due to tears.


~*~



She didn’t come back the following day, nor the day after. When he saw her in Potions, she carefully avoided his eyes, keeping her head down on her work. In the evening, he tested the potion and was quite satisfied to see some results – though the flesh still remained black as if burnt, it un-shrivelled quite neatly. Caught in his experiments, it was only when he looked at the clock that he realised she had not come to interrupt, not even once.

Worried, he headed for the Astronomy Tower. As he had guessed, she was here, huddled against the wall, her arms around her knees. He discreetly cleared his throat, not willing to startle her. To his surprise, she jumped on her feet and ran away again, passing near him so quickly that he didn’t have the time to stop her. He was about to follow her when he noticed an abandoned book on the floor. Picking it up, he took a sharp intake of breath: it was the book she had used to develop her new ability.

Hardly looking where his feet were leading him, he vaguely headed back to the dungeons, his nose buried in the book. This book could not come from elsewhere but the Restricted Section. He knew Minerva had given Hermione a pass to make it up for losing her Head Girl position and the silence she was forced into. He couldn’t have cared less. It was fascinating. He wondered briefly if she had found it by herself or if she had asked Madam Pince about it.

He almost laughed at the thought. Hermione probably knew the library as well as Madam Pince and he had very few doubts that she had already ventured more than once in the Restricted Section. There were few things that could keep Hermione Granger from knowledge and school rules clearly didn’t belong to them.

He forgot everything that wasn’t the book and read through the night until he almost knew each word printed on the pages. He would not train like Hermione did – the range was too restrictive to be really useful to him – but he wanted to know everything she knew, to guess what she had felt when reading the words. He was interested to discover that once the link between two people had been opened, the recipient could send messages to the sender. He read the passage carefully, thinking that maybe he could surprise her – if he could manage to make her come back.


~*~



The following morning, an owl delivered a letter to Hermione during breakfast. Severus had allowed her to return to the Gryffindor table after the incident with Draco. She read the letter before looking at him through the Great Hall. He returned her gaze calmly. He knew the words she had just read and he knew also that it was something she had rather expected. There was no apology, just an order to come to the Potions classroom in the evening, and the words were chosen to make it sound as if she was neglecting her duty.

He studied her during breakfast. She was careful to avoid any contact with her friends, but he noticed her wince of pain when Ron put his hand on her shoulder. His brow furrowed in perplexity; he didn’t remember the book saying the ability was hurting. Obviously Harry and Ron thought that her pain was due to him and glared at him across the room. He couldn’t help but be amused.

She came that night and Severus couldn’t hide his smirk. She was so easy to manipulate. Her presence wasn’t necessary but he liked having her around – as long as she wasn’t asking questions. And, after all, he was working for her.

“You may talk to me mind to mind if you want to practice,” he said gruffly as she closed the door behind her.

Though he was careful not to look at her, he couldn’t miss the joy lighting her eyes.

“We need to make some more tests. The results I had at the beginning of the week were quite satisfactory, but the flesh still remains burnt. Any idea why the Silentium Charm would burn?” he asked casually.

He braced himself against her touch. He rather disliked contact and he couldn’t believe he had almost volunteered for it. Her hand came to rest on his wrist, lightly, shyly, asking for his permission. Then, her voice in his head.

“Should I reveal this information to you?”

Her ‘tone’ was slightly amused, the words coming a little faster, and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“You should, unless you want me fired,” he replied in the same way, pushing his thoughts forward so she couldn’t avoid them.

Panic invaded her eyes and she broke the contact, withdrawing her hand as if his wrist was red-hot. ‘I’m sorry!’ she mouthed frantically. ‘I didn’t mean–’. He put a finger on her lips to make her quiet.

“I know. I was talking back to you. Surely you remember this from your book?”

She blushed and tentatively reached up to catch his hand between hers.

“I forgot. I thought… that I was invading your mind.”

“I can see why it scared you.”

She rolled her eyes and he refrained from chuckling.


~*~



“So, about the Silentium Charm, Miss Granger?”

“The Silentium Charm was used for torture several centuries ago. Mixing it with blood – which often happened during the torture sessions – resulted in painful burns. The Silentium Charm was considered obsolete and dangerous and was thus abandoned in favour of the Silencing Charm, less harmful since there was no side effect known.”

“Correct. And the Loquentia Charm?”

“The Loquentia Charm is supposedly the contrary of the Silentium Charm, negating its effects, except that if burns have already occurred, then the wizard or witch wishing to cast the Loquentia Charm must heal the burns first; if he or she fails to do so, the Loquentia Charm will only add further pain and damage.”

“Very good, Miss Granger, and I’m pleased to see you have practiced extensively your mind-speech fluency. If I were Minerva, I would give points to Gryffindor. Did you know all this before using the Silentium Charm, Miss Granger?”

“No. I knew it was rarer than the Silencing Charm and… well, if I had cast the Silencing Charm, Sirius would have sensed it immediately and taken it off. He didn’t sense the Silentium Charm.”

“No, he didn’t. But I did, because the Silentium Charm has been banned and is almost considered as a dark spell. On the other hand, Miss Granger, the only reason why I didn’t take it off was because I was already too late in stopping you; banishing the spell would have given you more pain and probably unbalanced the spell as well. Considering the current result, it may have been better to let you proceed without interruption.”

Then he added softly:

“If Sirius had been the Dark Lord, he would have taken off the spell, leaving you with an half-severed tongue, and cast the Loquentia Charm.”

“Then I should be glad that neither Sirius nor you are the Dark Lord.”

“Impertinent girl,” he muttered, looking away to hide the twitching of his lips.

They worked for an hour in companionable silence, her hand lightly put on his shoulder, and he was surprised to notice it didn’t bother him much.

“How come you volunteered all the information about the Silentium and Loquentia Charms?” he asked suddenly.

He felt her fingers tighten on his shoulder.

“I can’t have the Headmaster firing you, now, can I?”

“For the last time, Miss Granger, I’m not one of your cubs to protect, you arrogant Gryffindor lioness!”

She smiled as he turned toward her and put her hand against his cheek. He waited a moment for her answer, but she simply looked at him before mouthing ‘Good night, Professor’ and leaving the classroom.


~*~



The two weeks were almost over and Severus had let down his guard in Hermione’s presence. He was used to feel her in a quiet corner of his mind, discreet and unobtrusive. He knew he could trust her – though it went against his instincts – and her dry comments in his mind sometimes made him chuckle. She still hadn’t a perfect grasp of the concept and he sometimes heard things she probably didn’t want him to hear. On the other hand, as she didn’t speak much, the rare interruptions didn’t anger him.

That evening, he was testing his latest brew and he was irritated. Albus wanted results and Severus could see reproaches in everybody’s eyes, as if it was his fault if Hermione was still mute. He had had Double Potions for Slytherins and Gryffindors as the last class of the day and he had been short of hexing the whole class.

Then he felt the little probe in his mind, maybe because Hermione was letting her thoughts wander, and his control snapped.

“Prying into my mind?” he growled.

Shaking her head in denial, she dropped her hand from his shoulder. With a snarl, he caught both her hands between his.

“Oh no, you don’t! Since you want to know, you will know!”

He pressed her hands against his cheeks, entwining his fingers with hers so she couldn’t move. He slammed all his memories on the mental link between them. She screamed, the first sound she had uttered since that day in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but he didn’t pay attention, pouring his bitterness and hatred into her mind.

It was over as suddenly as it had begun. Horror dawned on him as he realised what he had just done. Tears invading her eyes, her mouth now open on a silent scream, she ran out of the classroom. He closed his eyes, hoping that when he would open them again, she would be by his side, looking with surprise at his worry. He opened his eyes and she wasn’t here. His eyes fell down and he saw the pink piece of flesh drowned in the latest potion he was testing. He cursed and strode out of the classroom, looking for Hermione.


~*~



He found her in her usual place, the top of the Astronomy Tower. She was curled on herself, crying silently. Wordlessly he came to her and pulled her to him, his arms coming around her sobbing frame.

“Leave me!” she screamed in his mind and he winced at the pain. “Go away, go away!”

“I’m sorry, Hermione,” he murmured quietly, tightening his embrace around her.

“Hurts…” she whispered. “Hurts, hurts, hurts…”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lost control like this. I’ll ask Albus for a Memory Charm or something like this so you won’t have to carry my memories with you. They’re not suited for you.”

She shook her head futilely against his chest.

“Hermione… we found the cure,” he said softly, his hand rubbing her back.

“No, not now… please…”

“You should talk about it,” he said, gently coaxing. “You can mind-speak to me, why don’t you try? I can understand many things. Albus won’t accept no for an answer and as soon as you will be fully healed, he will expect a detailed account of why you acted like this!”

She didn’t answer, but her arms slowly snaked around his neck, pulling him closer, and he felt her breath against his neck. Surprised by her reaction, he pushed her away and was left speechless by the hurt in her eyes.

“So not even a former Death Eater wants me… I’m a freak, a freak, not worthy, never worthy…”

He stiffened in shock, certain she had not wanted him to hear this thought. Her eyes widened in realisation of what she had just ‘said’ and, before he could react, she had scrambled away and disappeared in the dark depths of Hogwarts. He remained where he was, shaken to the core. She thought he had refused her because of her condition. She thought she wasn’t worthy of him. Him, of all people!




A Taste Of Silence by YsM [Reviews - 7]

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