In That One Moment Of Vulnerability: In That One Moment Of Vulnerability
Disclaimer: never did and never will own it. J.K. Rowling does.
Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
~ In That One Moment Of Vulnerability ~
In that one moment of vulnerability, you changed my vision of you. Never before had I seen you needing anything or anyone. Never before had I known that my heart could burst at the mere thought of you.
I was your student for seven years and your apprentice for two years before becoming your partner. During my scholarship, I saw your strictness and meticulousness while in class. I didnít like you, yet I couldnít help but admire your dedication. I knew you were risking your life for us everyday and I never doubted your bravery. You were trying to redeem yourself, though you thought that nothing you could do would bring forgiveness and oblivion for your past mistakes. Your odd sense of honour should have told you otherwise.
During my apprenticeship, I saw the master behind the professor. You were still strict, but just. I discovered the brilliance of your mind, your yearning for knowledge, the same that was driving me. I swore to myself that I would earn your respect, even if you had to give it grudgingly. You had accepted me as your apprentice and I wanted to be worthy of the honour. I like to think I made you proud.
Then we became partners, researching side by side. The war was over, but there was still much to do, people to heal, to bring back from the verges of insanity, new discoveries to make, new highs to reach. You were happy, even though your hard work during the war had not been recognised. You didnít care; you had done your duty.
And then the tragedy happened. Your great friend, he who had trusted you during all those dark years, died and the world around you shattered. You came to me in despair, needy of company, of sympathy, craving for someone to be here for you, like he had been. You forgot your pride and let the masks down.
You knew I wouldnít ridicule you, because I had lost friends too. You knew I wouldnít judge you, because I had been lost and alone too. You knew I would understand and you knew I would never tell. So I held you in my arms while you poured your heart to me.
I was glad that you chose me, glad and proud. It meant you saw me like a friend. You held on to me as if I was your lifesaver. That day, I forgot everything that wasnít you, I forgot my own grief to help you drown yours. When I heard all that happened to you, I would have done anything to take your grief and bear it on my own.
You didnít cry. I donít think you know anymore how to cry. You had to harden your heart and soul, you never had time to waste tears on your fate when people needed to be protected and rescued. So I cried for you and the wonder in your eyes broke my heart, as if you couldnít believe that someone could cry for you.
There was nothing I could do to mend your soul. You had been hurt too deeply. Yet it cannot be said that I didnít try. You found some comfort in my presence, you knew I would be here for you, no matter what. Even if people didnít trust you, you knew I did and it always surprised me that you never doubted me.
We are so alike, yet so different. We donít have the same background, but we are driven by the same thirsts. We are strict with others, but we are even harsher with ourselves. Our love for books put us aside from the others, yet they always end up looking for us, seeking our answers. We are the complement of each other.
In that one moment of vulnerability, you changed my vision of you. I saw the man behind the master, the man behind the professor. I saw the man you hide behind masks and layers. I saw who you are and I couldnít look away.
This story archived at: Ashwinder