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Reviews for Tonight You're Mine Completely Part III

fynnsmom2018.11.11 - 05:14PM1: Bittersweet MemorySigned
I have read parts I and II but haven't reviewed even though I am enjoying the story very much. I like how you are interpreting Severus and Lily's relationship. It's much more satisfactory than he called her a Mudblood and she never forgave him. Anyway, if you really need a beta reader I'd be willing to work on it. I have a lot of experience in writing and editing. I was a grant writer for a school before I retired and am now writing a novel and a children's book. I have no idea when you wrote this and you've probably found a beta reader already.

Author's Response: Hello fynnsmom, Thank you! Thank you! First for the review and second for the offer to beta reader. No, I have not found anyone to beta read. I popped in to see if my latest chapter had made it out of the queue, but it is still sitting there waiting to be granted entrance. I can send you an outline of the future chapters. I started this a long time ago, lost many of my hard copy notes, a computer drive along the way, and some of my writing I could not read. If you looked at my profile, you know life turned upside down me. That is how I lost my last beta reader. My dear husband, of Blessed Memory, was the model for many of my Snape's lines. Several of the scenes I flesh out using my family, friends, and co-workers. I tell them they are all "fodder for my fan fiction". I also vacillated on the ending. I am still weighing which way to take. When I first wrote this, I put in a few avenues to use in case JK's future books did not align with my storyline. Since I have it listed as AU, I am not as concerned if characters are still living in my world. I will get an outline to you. The written chapters are in a rough shape, scattered between a computer and a manilla folder, that I wrote what I was thinking at the time. I greatly appreciate your offer to beta read, and I will be in touch. The next chapter, as I mentioned earlier, is in the queue, and the following chapter I am working on to make it cohesive and error free. I try to send my betas the best work I can do with grammar and punctuation. I see you are an author! I think that must be one of the most fascinating things to do - to have a story in your head and be able to get it on paper for the reader to see and interpret what you are depicting. (One of the reasons I love JK's books is they are descriptive.) The type of writing I did for work in prior employment was technical documentation. I took a creative writing class in college years ago and got hooked. My degree is not in anything helpful for writing. I am in awe of the authors I read here. Again, I appreciate your offer. I am still working, another reason for slow updates. joannie aka Lois

loreen772018.07.01 - 08:07AM1: Bittersweet MemorySigned
I have read through your past chapters. I am glad you are still working on your story. I am sorry that I am unable to beta read. I hope you find someone to assist you. Best of luck.

Author's Response: Hello loreen, I know that was a lot of reading. Thank you for staying with the story. I appreciate that you think you are unable to beta read. The term "beta read" does sound challenging. I am in the middle of doing a read-over of Chapter 2: The Morning After, before I post it as a final to LJ. One thing I don't like about LJ is that is goofs up my fonts, and it has a size limitation that my chapters often go over. I can promise that the story line will pick up after Chapter 2. Again, thank you. If you do read it from LJ, if you have any comments, critiques good or bad, or something that didn't seem right, or the character(s) is/are OOC - I will not be offended if you say so. Enjoy the rest of the your week-end. joannie

mt_nestor2018.06.08 - 08:41PM1: Bittersweet MemorySigned
Iím sorry that life has thrown you some difficulties. Iíve read some of the further chapters on LiveJournal andI like the way the story continues. How close are you to an ending?

Author's Response: Hello mt_nestor, I like your pen name - but then I love words and what you can do with them. Thank you for your kind words. I have been fine tuning the LiveJournal posts. I have it completed on my pc in a rough, but it is not ready for prime time. I will continue uploading to LiveJournal, and if I can get a beta reader again, I will post here, as well. Sometimes it takes me awhile to be totally happy with a chapter. I can see it in my head, but can the reader see what I see? I ask myself if I the characters are not doing or saying something that hasn't been explained why or anything out of character. Thank you for reading and leaving me a review. joannie

zaubernuss2018.05.05 - 02:55PM1: Bittersweet MemorySigned
Sorry, I'm confused. Is it because I have not read parts I and II?

Author's Response: Hello, zaubernuss, Yes, I am quite sorry about that. Parts I and II provided the background. I gave Severus a background - history with Lily. It was not a popular theory at the time I wrote it. But it did provide an explanation of why he was the way he is. With Hermione, I had to provide opportunities that would bring her and Prossor Snape together - first as a student/teacher - later as an assistant/teacher. Part III begins with Hermione celebrating her 17th birthday near the start of term. She will have the opportunity to become an apprentice. I did not like leaving the story incomplete, but I had a series of set backs. My husband passed away in 2008, and I lost three beta readers. Ashwinder has a reputation to uphold and requires attention to grammar and punctuation. They require properly proofread works. After posting a request for a new beta reader and not getting a response, I lost connection with the story. Followed by a lack interest in living. I was mostly working, eating, and sleeping. My friend, septentrion, an excellent author on this site, offered to proof the chapter that was just uploaded. It did not get accepted the first time. I am on holiday with time on my hands. I decided to proof read it one more time. I made a few corrections; this time it was accepted. I probably gave you more explanation that you wanted. Other than uploading it to livejournal, I did not know what to do with the unfinished story. Thank you for taking the time to let me know. joannie




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