Reviews for Tonight You're Mine Completely Part III
|fynnsmom||2018.11.12 - 10:14AM||3: A Birthday To Remember||Signed |
|I love Elf. I think you could write a story about her alone although I suppose her charm is displayed by her interactions with other people. |
Author's Response: Hello again,
I was concerned with adding two non-canon characters. I read the cautions advising against it. I loved Dobby, and I was so sad at the end when he didn't survive the escape from Malfoy Mansion. I created Elf. She probably came from the Potter family, and she was Lily's constant companion. Elf adored Lily. (it seems everyone did according to Remus). The two who never got over Lily's death, in my story, are Elf and Severus. The Gryffindor coloured room in the dungeon was never Lily's. Severus resented Elf when she first came to live with him. Later he softened and decorated the room for Elf as a comfort and way to make amends for not accepting her straight away. Elf's takes her job seriously and learned how to get along with him. joannie
|fynnsmom||2018.11.11 - 05:14PM||1: Bittersweet Memory||Signed |
|I have read parts I and II but haven't reviewed even though I am enjoying the story very much. I like how you are interpreting Severus and Lily's relationship. It's much more satisfactory than he called her a Mudblood and she never forgave him. Anyway, if you really need a beta reader I'd be willing to work on it. I have a lot of experience in writing and editing. I was a grant writer for a school before I retired and am now writing a novel and a children's book. I have no idea when you wrote this and you've probably found a beta reader already. |
Author's Response: Hello fynnsmom, Thank you! Thank you! First for the review and second for the offer to beta reader. No, I have not found anyone to beta read.
I popped in to see if my latest chapter had made it out of the queue, but it is still sitting there waiting to be granted entrance.
I can send you an outline of the future chapters. I started this a long time ago, lost many of my hard copy notes, a computer drive along the way, and some of my writing I could not read. If you looked at my profile, you know life turned upside down me. That is how I lost my last beta reader. My dear husband, of Blessed Memory, was the model for many of my Snape's lines. Several of the scenes I flesh out using my family, friends, and co-workers. I tell them they are all "fodder for my fan fiction". I also vacillated on the ending. I am still weighing which way to take.
When I first wrote this, I put in a few avenues to use in case JK's future books did not align with my storyline. Since I have it listed as AU, I am not as concerned if characters are still living in my world. I will get an outline to you. The written chapters are in a rough shape, scattered between a computer and a manilla folder, that I wrote what I was thinking at the time. I greatly appreciate your offer to beta read, and I will be in touch. The next chapter, as I mentioned earlier, is in the queue, and the following chapter I am working on to make it cohesive and error free. I try to send my betas the best work I can do with grammar and punctuation.
I see you are an author! I think that must be one of the most fascinating things to do - to have a story in your head and be able to get it on paper for the reader to see and interpret what you are depicting. (One of the reasons I love JK's books is they are descriptive.)
The type of writing I did for work in prior employment was technical documentation. I took a creative writing class in college years ago and got hooked. My degree is not in anything helpful for writing. I am in awe of the authors I read here. Again, I appreciate your offer. I am still working, another reason for slow updates. joannie aka Lois
|loreen77||2018.09.02 - 03:32PM||4: A Night To Remember||Signed |
|I think Minerva is going to shocked and angry that not only did Granger accept the apprenticeship but did so quickly. I am really enjoying seeing the sections with Elf. She is a wonderful addition to the story. I eagerly look forward to seeing where this goes between Severus and Hermione. |
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I am most pleased you are still reading. Yes, Minerva is most dismayed and infuriated. She will try to keep a watchful eye on Hermione for any signs of distress, using any method available.
Ron is convinced Hermione is being held against her will and organises an SWCD effort to save her.
Professor Snape and Hermione are not without their anxieties, as well. One is a private person who appears to prefer his own company and never has a reason to shut a lavatory door. Within the confines of his quarters, he can let his guard down and be himself - now all that has changed. It makes him doubt the sanity of his actions. Remember, his mother told him to be careful what he wished for.
As for Hermione, she is dazzled by the professor's words that her potential is limitless and she is brilliant. Praise from Professor Snape is what she strives to receive. Besides, she has been harbouring thoughts of being his apprentice. Now that her wish has come true, reality sets in, and she finds out what it means to no longer be in control of her life and make her own decisions. She literally depends on Professor Snape for everything. Since she is confined to the dungeons, for the most part, she will have little interaction with the students.
I will stick to my outline for the most part, which was completed before the last book was published. I waited well over a year to read the last book, and I never saw the movie.
|sailormoon||2018.08.28 - 04:12PM||4: A Night To Remember||Signed |
|Oh, what a night
You are so wicked
Oh! the cliffhanger
I canīt wait
Author's Response: sailormoon, Regrettably, yes, guilty as charged. I have dusted off the next chapter, and I am busily polishing it. Unfortunately, for Severus and Hermione, not everyone is going to be pleased with Hermione's new living arrangement. Two particularly disgruntled Gryffindors will be: Professor McGonagall and Ron Weasley.
"There are some twists and turns in store for our favourite couple," the author replied nervously as she tossed pixie dust over the love-starved professor and the hormonal teen-ager. I have a couple chapters that Iíve approached with a bit of apprehension over their content. It is on par with the level of anguish I felt over the Severus and Lily chapters, which I wrote in 2005 to 2007, as it was not a popular pairing at the time.
Readers are loyal to their characters (S&H), and one must take care and treat them (S&H) respectfully. My sincerest wish is not to disappoint nor offend any reader. Without an audience, taking its valuable time to read the story, leave comments, critiques, complaints, and praise, there is no story. Thank you for the review. I will post the next chapter as quickly as possible. joannie
|loreen77||2018.08.07 - 05:25AM||3: A Birthday To Remember||Signed |
|Oh dear, what has Severus done now. |
Author's Response: Hello Loreen,
You know how Severus is attracted to intelligent, attractive Gryffindor witches - and how he feels he must protect them. He has been experimenting with potions and spells his entire life. He continued working with one in particular using Amortentia and the Life Restoring spell in an effort to find an alternative to the Omnia Vincit Amor spell that Hermione asked Madam Pomfrey about. It provides protection to the gifted recipient from anyone seeking to fatally wound that person. joannie
|loreen77||2018.08.07 - 05:12AM||2: The Morning After||Signed |
|I enjoy having Elf in this story. It is uncommon to have her thoughts and feelings included but it helps in this story. |
Author's Response: Hello Loreen,
Thank you. I am pleased you like Elf. I think she adds a dimension to Severus and gives insight to his character. I know this is a drawn out story, and I thank you for sticking with it. When I outlined the chapters at the beginning, I wanted to be certain to include details and events that would influence the characters given what we know about them from JK, and give them reasons for their actions.
The ending is outlined, and I am not planning on veering from it very much. The next chapter is being polished, and I hope to have it up this month. There is still no beta reader, but I have someone reading it over, for grammar and punctuation though she is not an HP fan. joannie
|loreen77||2018.07.01 - 08:07AM||1: Bittersweet Memory||Signed |
|I have read through your past chapters. I am glad you are still working on your story. I am sorry that I am unable to beta read. I hope you find someone to assist you. Best of luck. |
Author's Response: Hello loreen,
I know that was a lot of reading. Thank you for staying with the story. I appreciate that you think you are unable to beta read. The term "beta read" does sound challenging.
I am in the middle of doing a read-over of Chapter 2: The Morning After, before I post it as a final to LJ. One thing I don't like about LJ is that is goofs up my fonts, and it has a size limitation that my chapters often go over.
I can promise that the story line will pick up after Chapter 2.
Again, thank you. If you do read it from LJ, if you have any comments, critiques good or bad, or something that didn't seem right, or the character(s) is/are OOC - I will not be offended if you say so.
Enjoy the rest of the your week-end. joannie
|mt_nestor||2018.06.08 - 08:41PM||1: Bittersweet Memory||Signed |
|Iím sorry that life has thrown you some difficulties.
Iíve read some of the further chapters on LiveJournal andI like the way the story continues. How close are you to an ending?|
Author's Response: Hello mt_nestor,
I like your pen name - but then I love words and what you can do with them.
Thank you for your kind words. I have been fine tuning the LiveJournal posts. I have it completed on my pc in a rough, but it is not ready for prime time. I will continue uploading to LiveJournal, and if I can get a beta reader again, I will post here, as well.
Sometimes it takes me awhile to be totally happy with a chapter. I can see it in my head, but can the reader see what I see? I ask myself if I the characters are not doing or saying something that hasn't been explained why or anything out of character. Thank you for reading and leaving me a review. joannie
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