Reviews for Tonight You're Mine Completely Part III
|loreen77||2018.12.22 - 11:11AM||8: Second Thoughts||Signed |
|Oh the drama. They are both jumping to conclusions and need to learn to communicate. I hope tomorrow goes better for them. |
|loreen77||2018.12.22 - 10:57AM||7: Whatís He Got That I Donít Have?||Signed |
|Poor confused Ron and Harry. Itís a big change and they only understand a little of whatís going on. It kind of makes me feel bad for them. |
|loreen77||2018.12.22 - 10:15AM||6: An Afternoon Lie-in||Signed |
|Well the steamy shagging started faster then I had expected. The compulsion driving them really kicked into high gear quickly. I assume there is nothing taboo about an apprentice and master having a sexual relationship. |
|loreen77||2018.12.22 - 10:04AM||5: Blame It On The Bubbles||Signed |
|I have been away from Ashwinder for several months and am happy to be able to be back. I was glad to see several new chapters to your story. I found Albusí sex talk with Hermione awkward and funny. Elfís desire to bring together Severus and Hermione is sweet to see. I think if Elf has her way they will be mated and have babies as quickly as possible. |
Author's Response: Hi Loreen,
Thank you for the review. Yes, Elf is most anxious to have a little one to take care, but she will have to wait. Finally, I have a chapter in the queue. Not having a beta reader, it takes me longer to get a chapter completed, because my eyes read what should be there and not what really is. joannie
|fynnsmom||2018.11.12 - 10:14AM||3: A Birthday To Remember||Signed |
|I love Elf. I think you could write a story about her alone although I suppose her charm is displayed by her interactions with other people. |
Author's Response: Hello again,
I was concerned with adding two non-canon characters. I read the cautions advising against it. I loved Dobby, and I was so sad at the end when he didn't survive the escape from Malfoy Mansion. I created Elf. She probably came from the Potter family, and she was Lily's constant companion. Elf adored Lily. (it seems everyone did according to Remus). The two who never got over Lily's death, in my story, are Elf and Severus. The Gryffindor coloured room in the dungeon was never Lily's. Severus resented Elf when she first came to live with him. Later he softened and decorated the room for Elf as a comfort and way to make amends for not accepting her straight away. Elf's takes her job seriously and learned how to get along with him. joannie
|fynnsmom||2018.11.11 - 05:14PM||1: Bittersweet Memory||Signed |
|I have read parts I and II but haven't reviewed even though I am enjoying the story very much. I like how you are interpreting Severus and Lily's relationship. It's much more satisfactory than he called her a Mudblood and she never forgave him. Anyway, if you really need a beta reader I'd be willing to work on it. I have a lot of experience in writing and editing. I was a grant writer for a school before I retired and am now writing a novel and a children's book. I have no idea when you wrote this and you've probably found a beta reader already. |
Author's Response: Hello fynnsmom, Thank you! Thank you! First for the review and second for the offer to beta reader. No, I have not found anyone to beta read.
I popped in to see if my latest chapter had made it out of the queue, but it is still sitting there waiting to be granted entrance.
I can send you an outline of the future chapters. I started this a long time ago, lost many of my hard copy notes, a computer drive along the way, and some of my writing I could not read. If you looked at my profile, you know life turned upside down me. That is how I lost my last beta reader. My dear husband, of Blessed Memory, was the model for many of my Snape's lines. Several of the scenes I flesh out using my family, friends, and co-workers. I tell them they are all "fodder for my fan fiction". I also vacillated on the ending. I am still weighing which way to take.
When I first wrote this, I put in a few avenues to use in case JK's future books did not align with my storyline. Since I have it listed as AU, I am not as concerned if characters are still living in my world. I will get an outline to you. The written chapters are in a rough shape, scattered between a computer and a manilla folder, that I wrote what I was thinking at the time. I greatly appreciate your offer to beta read, and I will be in touch. The next chapter, as I mentioned earlier, is in the queue, and the following chapter I am working on to make it cohesive and error free. I try to send my betas the best work I can do with grammar and punctuation.
I see you are an author! I think that must be one of the most fascinating things to do - to have a story in your head and be able to get it on paper for the reader to see and interpret what you are depicting. (One of the reasons I love JK's books is they are descriptive.)
The type of writing I did for work in prior employment was technical documentation. I took a creative writing class in college years ago and got hooked. My degree is not in anything helpful for writing. I am in awe of the authors I read here. Again, I appreciate your offer. I am still working, another reason for slow updates. joannie aka Lois
|loreen77||2018.09.02 - 03:32PM||4: A Night To Remember||Signed |
|I think Minerva is going to shocked and angry that not only did Granger accept the apprenticeship but did so quickly. I am really enjoying seeing the sections with Elf. She is a wonderful addition to the story. I eagerly look forward to seeing where this goes between Severus and Hermione. |
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I am most pleased you are still reading. Yes, Minerva is most dismayed and infuriated. She will try to keep a watchful eye on Hermione for any signs of distress, using any method available.
Ron is convinced Hermione is being held against her will and organises an SWCD effort to save her.
Professor Snape and Hermione are not without their anxieties, as well. One is a private person who appears to prefer his own company and never has a reason to shut a lavatory door. Within the confines of his quarters, he can let his guard down and be himself - now all that has changed. It makes him doubt the sanity of his actions. Remember, his mother told him to be careful what he wished for.
As for Hermione, she is dazzled by the professor's words that her potential is limitless and she is brilliant. Praise from Professor Snape is what she strives to receive. Besides, she has been harbouring thoughts of being his apprentice. Now that her wish has come true, reality sets in, and she finds out what it means to no longer be in control of her life and make her own decisions. She literally depends on Professor Snape for everything. Since she is confined to the dungeons, for the most part, she will have little interaction with the students.
I will stick to my outline for the most part, which was completed before the last book was published. I waited well over a year to read the last book, and I never saw the movie.
|sailormoon||2018.08.28 - 04:12PM||4: A Night To Remember||Signed |
|Oh, what a night
You are so wicked
Oh! the cliffhanger
I canīt wait
Author's Response: sailormoon, Regrettably, yes, guilty as charged. I have dusted off the next chapter, and I am busily polishing it. Unfortunately, for Severus and Hermione, not everyone is going to be pleased with Hermione's new living arrangement. Two particularly disgruntled Gryffindors will be: Professor McGonagall and Ron Weasley.
"There are some twists and turns in store for our favourite couple," the author replied nervously as she tossed pixie dust over the love-starved professor and the hormonal teen-ager. I have a couple chapters that Iíve approached with a bit of apprehension over their content. It is on par with the level of anguish I felt over the Severus and Lily chapters, which I wrote in 2005 to 2007, as it was not a popular pairing at the time.
Readers are loyal to their characters (S&H), and one must take care and treat them (S&H) respectfully. My sincerest wish is not to disappoint nor offend any reader. Without an audience, taking its valuable time to read the story, leave comments, critiques, complaints, and praise, there is no story. Thank you for the review. I will post the next chapter as quickly as possible. joannie
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