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| Jong_Kahn | 2018.03.15 - 07:27AM | 8: Occlumency the Second | Signed |
| This was an especially well-written chapter. Your decision to have Hermione go to Lockhart for the memory charms was inspired, as was your description of how she handled him, learned from him. It made logical sense, felt like it could have been canon, it was so 'realistic' as far as the HP magical world was concerned. So too, your psychological explanations for Hermione's feelings, Severus' understanding them, and how he was finally 'getting' her as an individual, what made her tick. Quite well done, and to me the most impressive chapter yet. Thanks for all your hard work writing it. Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your praise! I've always been wondering how Hermione could have managed to learn what surely must be a very complicated charm - a complete memory modification, that left her parents functioning in every other respect. It came to me when I was re-watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with my son and Lockhart was bragging how he excelled in memory charms. All the better that he would never remember teaching her. :) Actually, trying to keep things canon (or trying to even explain things that don't make sense in canon) is one of my main goals when writing. I'm working on a new piece right now, which hopefully will explain all the odd things about the Prophesy, the night Lily and James died, what Voldi did hanging about in that forest in Albania and lots of other stuff. It's really fun to discover the answers that never were canon, but actually make perfect sense. I hope you will agree if you ever read it. :) | |||
| Jong_Kahn | 2018.03.15 - 06:47AM | 6: Wands, Whotnits and Weapknats | Signed |
| You start out the next chapter, describing Hermione "...giving him the experimental note she wrote with it, telling him in his own words how she feels about him." Actually, the way it read to me, I thought she was writing out the way he would describe his feelings to her--that was how it seemed. No matter, as it's a great quill regardless! (And an excuse to give you another "10")
Author's Response: Ah! Misunderstanding here.. I guess I didn't really make it clear enought what I meant. Hermione was writing down how SHE felt (she wouldn't presume to know his feelings regarding her). The quill put it into words he would have used if he had said the same thing (about her, or anyone). She then gives him the note, telling him her feelings, now put into a language he should be able to understand: Snape-Speech. More of that in the next chapter. ;) | |||
| Jong_Kahn | 2018.03.15 - 06:44AM | 7: Nightmares | Signed |
| What a sweet end to the chapter: her keeping his robe on, which gave her the comfort to sleep soundly. Lovely stuff. Author's Response: I can't thank you enough for all your lovely comments! | |||
| Jong_Kahn | 2018.03.15 - 06:23AM | 6: Wands, Whotnits and Weapknats | Signed |
| How I love that quill! If Hermione gets stuck trying to think of a diplomatic way of telling something to Snape himself, all she'll have to do is attempt to write down the direct thing she wants to say, and it'll provide her the phrasing she needs!
Lovely stuff - good chapter! Thank you. Author's Response: We'll see the quill in action one more time in the upcoming chapter (or maybe it's not the upcoming one, but two or three chapters down the road, I'm not exactly sure) Except Hermione is trying to figure out what he meant to say exactly by using a reverse charm on it. Well, she thinks it might not yet be working properly. :) Thank you very much for your lovely reviesws! | |||
| loreen77 | 2018.03.11 - 09:08AM | 10: A Damp Squib and a Damp Witch | Signed |
| Loved the damp squib translation. I have never heard that phrase before and it was truly perfect here. Great job with walking the minefield that is Severs Snape’s feelings. I found their conversation refreshingly honest. Author's Response: Oh, you didn't know the phrase either? If you're a native speaker, that would suggest that it's not very common, then. Severus feelings a mindfield? Yes, that's a good image! I just finished a chapter of my new story yesterday, in which he says something about "shoving it all into a chest and bogging it in one of the dark sloughs in his mind-scape', where often it "refused to stay under". So with him, you can never trespass without the danger of accidentally triggering / stepping on a buried and surpressed emotion that suddenly resurfaces and blows into your the face. I have written him a bit too sane, I guess. I think 'real life' Severus would be really difficult to deal with... | |||
| Mikimoto | 2018.03.09 - 08:55PM | 10: A Damp Squib and a Damp Witch | Signed |
| Thank you for the update. I have been anxious to see what happens next.
It is interesting that Hermione's drying spells don't produce the effect she wants. I imagine when she gets over this hard time, she'll teach herself how to get the hair she wants. Or perhaps she'll find a potion that will tame it.
I think it is true that no one has a strength in every area. It keeps us humble (or it should).
I like how you have Severus facing his beliefs (misbeliefs) about himself and how only perfection makes him worthwhile or worthy of love. Perhaps he will also allow himself to have areas where he is not strong and be OK with it.
Thanks for sharing your imagination. Great story. Author's Response: Hello Mikimoto! Thank you for your feedback! As to the drying spell, I go with the movie: When they jumped from the dragon into the lake, they didn't use drying spells but changed their clothes (let's just believe that Hermiones enchanted bag where they take them from is waterproof). So maybe traditional drying spells are not supposed to be used on clothing, as the produce the same effect on some materials as a hot drying machine wood. :) As to her hair problem... well, she's on good terms with a potions master.... :) Just wait and see. Severus, like all of us, certainly has weaknesses. His main weakness is that he feels he can't show them. His own emotions and needs are weaknesses in his eyes, so he tries to subdue them or ignore their existance. But that's the beauty of falling for someone... you can't keep doing that. His feelings are already leaking through, as much as he is in denial about it. He'll have to jump eventually, and I can tell you already that he will. Almost literally, in fact. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! | |||
| emcnary | 2018.03.06 - 09:49PM | 9: The Subtle Art of Legilimency | Signed |
| I like that we get just an inkling of leg/occ explanation in the book--it leaves a bit up to interpretation. I agree with your interpretation, and I also think part of the reason Voldy sends Snape to spy is because he's too arrogant to think that someone would try to pull one over on him.
Good chap--they really do have an interesting dynamic! Can't wait to read more:) Author's Response: Thank you, emcnary, for your review! I find leg/occ very interesting subjects and it's a pity they weren't explored deeper. On the other hand, that gives us hobby authors a vatst playground to play on, so I won't complain. :) Yes, Voldemort's main weakness is doubtlessly his arrogance. But again, a good thing, otherwise he might still be around. :O Enjoy reading the rest of the story! | |||
| loreen77 | 2018.03.04 - 07:20PM | 9: The Subtle Art of Legilimency | Signed |
| I adore the lessons between them. I was glad he show enough comfort and trust in her to allow her into his mind, even if it was only in a controlled way. Fascinating chapter. | |||
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