I'm loving Domme-Hermione and I think the present tense narrative is going to work really well when they get down to the hanky panky. ;) Looking forward to more! x
As yet I find your story very intriguing; there are so few F/m stories out there. I'm not completely convinced by the present tense, but I think you have chances to change that. Your dialogue is NOT crap, I liked it very much so far. I'm looking forward to more :)