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| Tamara_sama | 2016.06.12 - 07:34AM | 4: Un asunto accidental | Signed |
| Notable clever phrases, because I'd like to emphasize what literally made me giggle-snort like an idiot: "heat-seeking missile that was eagerly targeting her with its one good eye.", "Oh look, a deceptive piece of brickwork on the floor. If one were clumsy, one could easily trip on that and...", "but fortunately realised that Hermione Danger Granger sounded fucking stupid."
Brilliant! And I agree that this story deserves more reviews! Author's Response: I appreciate your reference to specific lines as it is both rewarding to know what stands out and helpful in terms of continually improving my writing. I also appreciate that you have taken the time to review multiple times. I really enjoy any feedback I get! <3 | |||
| Tamara_sama | 2016.06.12 - 07:17AM | 3: Un Amore Accidental | Signed |
| Oh, this is a wonderful break away from the often trite and flowery sensual descriptions in most stories, and one of the few I've read that actually sounds like a woman who knows their own body and masturbates regularly. I love the dichotomy of it paired with Severus' contributions to the book. Two thumbs up for the realism and hilarity! Author's Response: Excellent. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I was determined for it to be both amusing and realistic. Thanks very much. | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.11 - 03:23PM | 12: Náhodnému Affair | Signed |
| His words are like pornograhic poetry. So elegant. Her, on the other hand, are like so much harsher with a raw edge to them. You are doing a good job of showing such a difference in how the write their chapter, how they voice their desires. Nice job. Author's Response: I'm really pleased that you noticed how the stylistic differences in their writing are intended to relate to the differences in their personalities and their methods of expression. | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.11 - 09:10AM | 8: Hazarda Afero | Signed |
| Too bad about his father. I am glad he can try to help someone else. Author's Response: Sev is like that, I think. | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.11 - 08:10AM | 7: An Affair Aksidentale | Signed |
| Guilt from her parents explains a lot Author's Response: I'm glad her status makes sense in the context of her life. | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.11 - 07:36AM | 6: Un Affare Primaticcia | Signed |
| Drunk HG to this level doesn't seem very realistic. I wonder what in her life lead her to the point of drinking that much? Author's Response: Perhaps it does. She has been through a significant amount in her relatively short life. | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.10 - 11:07PM | 5: Lan Sengaja Affair | Signed |
| Slow slyrtherin tourture. Very funny. Author's Response: :) | |||
| loreen77 | 2016.06.10 - 08:54AM | 4: Un asunto accidental | Signed |
| Lol. Hermione Danger Granger. It has a lovely ring to it. Author's Response: It does, doesn't it? | |||
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