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| ofankoma | 2012.02.19 - 12:24AM | 10: Parth The Ninth | Signed |
| "He wound a wild curl around his long finger. In a tender voice, he asked, “Hermione, last night you asked me what I was afraid of. What are you afraid of?”
Hermione looked at him, and the air in the room seemed to grow still and warm. Entwining her hand with his, she whispered, “I’m – I’m afraid of being too bossy, of scaring you away.”
Severus looked into her sweet intelligent face and for once, her assertive, no-nonsense demeanour was absent, and she looked as vulnerable as she did the night she met him in the Forest of Dean."
THIS. IS. WONDERFUL! The reciprocity, now that they're finally equals on equal terms. Love it. Oh goodness, Rose's indignation on Severus' behalf? Love that, too. Heart-warming without falling into saccharine sweetness. (And thanks again for Harry, reiterating a freedom for Severus that I don't think he's ever had before.) Author's Response: Thank you! That is such a lovely thing to say. I'm afraid, though, I've saved the cavity-creating sweeties for the last chapter. It had to be done! | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.19 - 12:06AM | 9: Part The Eighth | Signed |
| "That is, if I let you out of bed long enough to turn on the telly." I love that your Hermione can both say this and also feel comfortable telling Severus just how nervous she is about the two of them together. I tend to think it's Hermione who needs to be persistent to get anything moving between the two of them, but then again, I think there's a willful kind of celibacy in Severus in believing he's completely unloveable that would need to be trumped by someone like Hermione. (While I'm glad to see them finally getting on with things, the tone shift changed a bit too much too quickly for me here - I was a bit startled that the tenderness of what we've seen develop gave way to this. But then... I'm surprised Hermione would finally get a chance with him and not take HIM first and foremost. But to each their own.) CHOICE! Yes, agreed completely. It's horrible to watch a powerful, competent person like Snape have almost all choice in his life stripped away by the people who lord power over him - something you've extended quite well here with the Wizengamot's ludicrous rulings. Loved the way Harry rambles his way through the story, and absolutely adored Hermione's interruption. Patronus Change! - Thank goodness. I'm a sucker for a Patronus change, and one that is NOT to an otter. Severus is his own person. Ah, I'm so glad to see Rose getting to be a part of it all, and I love that you've given Severus a family. (Yes, Severus, even Harry says so.) Say, Teddy, you said earlier in a response that this story isn't particularly characteristic of your style. Which story of yours would you point people towards first? Author's Response: Yes, my beta said, "Only you would put a mutual masturbation sequence in a fluff piece!" I just figured they would feel a little playful and very passionate after everything. Also, Severus is a little drunk on his newly restored magic, and feeling a little powerful, so I thought he might enjoy a little show for his benefit. The Hubs and I corresponded for six months long distance in the most romantic fashion that can be imagined, but romance went out the window when we were finally alone for the first time! ;) Regarding my own feelings about my style, that is a tough one. My personal favourite of everything I've written is a short fic called "As Morning Falls". I am also writing a very long fic called "Lay Me Low" which is a WIP. Both of those, I think, highlight my style I think the best. I think everything else sort of falls in line behind them. This was an uber-romantic story I wanted to do, and I'm really happy with it, but I think I tend to write in a moodier style. To tell the truth, I don't really know myself! Haha. My personal favorites, though, as Morning Falls and Father Figure. Clear as mud, huh? :) | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 11:45PM | 8: Part The Seventh | Signed |
| (Sorry for the addendum... it drives me crazy that you can't see the chapter while you're reviewing here, so you miss out on half the things you want to say.) This discussion of Ron and Lily at the end is wonderfully revealing: shows the expectations they had (AKA canon AKA JKR's terrible idea of putting Ron with Hermione and leaving Severus to pine for Lily forever) and the very plausible reasons why - particularly Dumbledore's abuse of the Idea of Lily to manipulate Severus. I also love how self aware Hermione and Severus are that they can have this talk at all, and I *love* what Harry had to say about Ron. It's perfect. Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely and thoughtful comments (I know, it's frustrating because you can't even tell which chapter a reader is reviewing either.) The idea of Ron and Hermione together was just gruesome from the start. When I got into fanfiction about two years ago (Yes, I'm a fairly latecomer), and the idea of Severus/Hermione was mentioned, I thought, "What?" Then I thought, actually, they would be perfect for one another. They were two passionate, scarily intelligent misfits that were always going to be looked at askance by the rest of the Wizarding World. I also feel that Severus is intelligent enough to realise that, after the stress and war is over and if he survived, he had the ability to find love again. After all, he was capable of great love before, surely he could allow his heart to find love again. It's the only 'Severus' I read that makes sense: the character intelligent and mature enough to look for love. It's really the only pairing that makes sense to me. And as a person who has always been attracted to older men (I'm a 'lil girl' submissive), I thought they were the sexiest pairing I could imagine. And I think of Hermione as just loving the hell out of those that she loves, so Severus would just have to suck it up and accept that she was going to love him in spite of himself! Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely and thoughtful comments (I know, it's frustrating because you can't even tell which chapter a reader is reviewing either.) The idea of Ron and Hermione together was just gruesome from the start. When I got into fanfiction about two years ago (Yes, I'm a fairly latecomer), and the idea of Severus/Hermione was mentioned, I thought, "What?" Then I thought, actually, they would be perfect for one another. They were two passionate, scarily intelligent misfits that were always going to be looked at askance by the rest of the Wizarding World. I also feel that Severus is intelligent enough to realise that, after the stress and war is over and if he survived, he had the ability to find love again. After all, he was capable of great love before, surely he could allow his heart to find love again. It's the only 'Severus' I read that makes sense: the character intelligent and mature enough to look for love. It's really the only pairing that makes sense to me. And as a person who has always been attracted to older men (I'm a 'lil girl' submissive), I thought they were the sexiest pairing I could imagine. And I think of Hermione as just loving the hell out of those that she loves, so Severus would just have to suck it up and accept that she was going to love him in spite of himself! Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely and thoughtful comments (I know, it's frustrating because you can't even tell which chapter a reader is reviewing either.) The idea of Ron and Hermione together was just gruesome from the start. When I got into fanfiction about two years ago (Yes, I'm a fairly latecomer), and the idea of Severus/Hermione was mentioned, I thought, "What?" Then I thought, actually, they would be perfect for one another. They were two passionate, scarily intelligent misfits that were always going to be looked at askance by the rest of the Wizarding World. I also feel that Severus is intelligent enough to realise that, after the stress and war is over and if he survived, he had the ability to find love again. After all, he was capable of great love before, surely he could allow his heart to find love again. It's the only 'Severus' I read that makes sense: the character intelligent and mature enough to look for love. It's really the only pairing that makes sense to me. And as a person who has always been attracted to older men (I'm a 'lil girl' submissive), I thought they were the sexiest pairing I could imagine. And I think of Hermione as just loving the hell out of those that she loves, so Severus would just have to suck it up and accept that she was going to love him in spite of himself! Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely and thoughtful comments (I know, it's frustrating because you can't even tell which chapter a reader is reviewing either.) The idea of Ron and Hermione together was just gruesome from the start. When I got into fanfiction about two years ago (Yes, I'm a fairly latecomer), and the idea of Severus/Hermione was mentioned, I thought, "What?" Then I thought, actually, they would be perfect for one another. They were two passionate, scarily intelligent misfits that were always going to be looked at askance by the rest of the Wizarding World. I also feel that Severus is intelligent enough to realise that, after the stress and war is over and if he survived, he had the ability to find love again. After all, he was capable of great love before, surely he could allow his heart to find love again. It's the only 'Severus' I read that makes sense: the character intelligent and mature enough to look for love. It's really the only pairing that makes sense to me. And as a person who has always been attracted to older men (I'm a 'lil girl' submissive), I thought they were the sexiest pairing I could imagine. And I think of Hermione as just loving the hell out of those that she loves, so Severus would just have to suck it up and accept that she was going to love him in spite of himself! | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 11:37PM | 8: Part The Seventh | Signed |
| “You see, I think that’s your main problem. You think every mistake you make is unforgivable. Just because Lily Evans didn’t have the guts and the depth of soul to forgive you, you don’t think you deserve to be forgiven, and so you won’t forgive yourself.”
I'll agree with the first bit of that wholeheartedly. He does tend to think that every failure is unforgiveable, but then, he's certainly been conditioned to feel that way. As for Lily? Well, I don't think that's quite fair of Hermione, and I'm a bit surprised she says it so frankly. After all, Snape was no saint in those days, and we're never really sure exactly how involved he was when with the DEs - a group that wanted her dead and that had already messed around with at least one of her friends.
I'm also a bit surprised to see them promising their lives to one another without a bit more affection (since your Severus here doesn't seem to be averse to it), but I like Hermione's pushiness in getting to the point. Hurra for progress! Author's Response: Well, whomever Hermione loves, she protects, and protects with conviction! ;) The whole canon point of Lily is hotly debated. Everyone in canon treats her as St. Lily, but her reluctance to forgive Severus for what happened has always been a sore point for me. As for affection, they do experience a bit later. After all, they're expecting Harry at any moment... | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 11:23PM | 7: Part The Sixth | Signed |
| 'Because he loved them so much, they became Rose’s favourite afternoon snack as well.' Of course, they are. Rose showing Severus off to all her friends is tremendously adorable and believable - as is his confused reaction to a gaggle of gigglers. I must say, I'm enjoying the minor arguments and communication issues he and Hermione are having along the way - they speak so differently, I imagine it takes a bit of energy for them to learn how to speak to the other clearly. As to the run out on the concert? Yep, it was time. I can't see this whole experience as being anything other than tremendously overwhelming for him. (Now go get him, Hermione!) Also... oh, goodness... the horror that is karaoke. You know a man's smitten when... Author's Response: Poor Severus - all this an karaoke too! LOL. Yes, they do have a different way of communicating, but Hermione's tenacious. That's one of the things I love about her. And yes, I had a lot of fun imagining Rose bringing her friends over to show off poor Severus. He's never known what it was like for a gaggle of girls to treat him like a rock star. (He really should spend more time with his fangurls, I think!) | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 11:04PM | 6: Part The Fifth | Signed |
| Fluffy and sentimental? Yes, but it's a Christmas story. I don't think we're expecting a dark Christmas fic. :)
'Looking back, I don’t know how you didn’t break.' No, I really don't know, either. You just think of him carrying that torn photo of Lily and that scrap of paper with her words of love, tucked away in his pocket somewhere, trying to cling to the resolve to do the right thing in the face of no reward. I like how you've written the Forest of Dean encounter - he's not too familiar with her, he knows nothing will come of it, he still thinks he's walking to his own death... and she asks him to try to think of a life beyond. Wonderful. (Rose - the chess game? Really, I adore her.) Author's Response: I have often said that the sole reason I write fanfiction is to give him the chance to have a happy life, since everything was so against him in canon. He really didn't stand a chance. I just want the man to experience a little love. I think he deserved at least that. | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 10:57PM | 5: Part The Fourth | Signed |
| Ah, I like this emphasis on acquiring/losing magic. Wands, Severus' restricting band, the book. Rose is, of course, the perfect age, and wasn't Hermione buying her her first wand? As for the memory... he Obliviated her in the Forest of Dean, didn't he? Charging ahead! Author's Response: The idea of the suppressed magic was inspired by the idea of the Wizengamot thinking that the best thing would be to 'make an example' of Severus. It's typical of a government to throw the baby out with the bath water, and I thought this would be just the kind of judgement they would think was fair and firm. | |||
| ofankoma | 2012.02.18 - 10:49PM | 4: Part The Third | Signed |
| Before I forget, I thoroughly enjoyed Severus reasoning his death during the previous chapter. And the moment with her hand! Lovely. Here, seeing Hermione riled up and swearing like a sailor - this is one of the reasons we love her, yes? Just like her defence of the then-unknown man in the alleyway. I do so enjoy your take of Snape and kids here with Rose - the idea that he very reluctantly finds himself enjoying a child (almost against his will) and doesn't quite know how to communicate with them? Seems spot on to me. As to the Wizengamot's restrictions on Snape, well, I agree... I can't imagine exactly what they would have done with him had he survived. But I'm glad that Hermione's finally sending Harry out to use his fame to get something done. I can't imagine Harry likes the celebrity any more now than ever, but I can easily see him learning how to harness it for the good of others. Author's Response: I think it is sometimes forgotten that in canon, Hermione had a temper and didn't mind snarling a bit at Harry and Ron to keep them in line! ;) In the early drafts of this story, I actually had Harry trying to get Hermione to marry him so the baby would have a father, and she refused. I'm glad my super beta came along and said, "Nah, just let Hermione get on with it!" I have the best beta! | |||
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