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| marisamarinee | 2014.09.11 - 05:18AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| That was sweet | |||
| JudithsFancy | 2013.04.16 - 09:04AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| Warmth through words, little revealing habits, two people who love each other. So often, these things get lost in the hurry to plot and explain. Lives are constructed with these personal moments. Characters are formed. Connections are made...genuine, loving human reactions. Don't take time to apologize. Write more. JF | |||
| duj | 2012.12.12 - 05:14PM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| Sweet, but you could have tightened it further with selective omissions. The mention of not waiting to remove his clothes and why could have been reduced to "He toed off his shoes." (I presume he did remove them before getting in the bed.) The explanation that he'd missed her scent could have been left out. Trust the reader to *get it* without every detail spelled out. The strength of a story lies between the words, not in them. Author's Response: Thanks, reading it back your advice makes so much sense and I can see where I need to omit/tighten things up. x | |||
| Jong_Kahn | 2012.10.01 - 11:24AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| Nice little vignette--keep writing! (More stories, that is!) Author's Response: Thank you. I alway mean to write more and have loads of half finished stuff on my laptop but real life (damn it) always gets in the way. I'm really pleased you enjoyed it though. x Author's Response: Thank you. I alway mean to write more and have loads of half finished stuff on my laptop but real life (damn it) always gets in the way. I'm really pleased you enjoyed it though. x | |||
| Jenniemay | 2012.02.13 - 11:24AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| such a cute tale. loved it Author's Response: Thanks, I don't usually read a massive amount of fluffy stories but it was just a little idea I couldn't get out my head so thought I'd give it a go. Pleased you enjoyed it. x | |||
| loreen77 | 2011.12.24 - 08:48AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| Lovely. | |||
| jenonymous | 2011.10.17 - 08:21AM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| Quite good. Makes me want to read more. I very much like that you chose to make his imperative his emotional need rather than his physical. I rather suspect that in reality, a man's emotional comfort is gratified more in sex than a woman's would be, but it makes women like Snape more if he shows emotional need. Well done. Author's Response: Thanks, I know it's not great but I'm hoping that, if I ever get round to posting more stories, I've improved my writting a bit.x | |||
| spunkalovely | 2011.10.09 - 02:56PM | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
| So adorable. (: | |||
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