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| Asenath | 2015.07.16 - 11:22AM | 18: The Test | Signed |
| Happy to see such quick updates. This chapter was a twist I did not see coming! Poor Miss Granger, the guilt of being able bodied but unable to reach the man who has done so much for her just might break her. Can't wait to see where you take us next! Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, Hermione is going to do everything she can to help Severus. | |||
| epideme | 2015.07.16 - 04:17AM | 18: The Test | Signed |
| Amazing story, I love it! not too keen on cliffhangers tho :P Please post more soon! Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter is already waiting in the queue! | |||
| bubbles28 | 2015.07.15 - 03:02AM | 17: The Mistake | Signed |
| The plot moves on, and I must applaud you; I don't think I've yet seen a prophecy about Hermione & Severus as a plot tool. Fabulous idea!!
Just..lovingly, because I love this story, I have to say that the timeline was confused for me. I lost track of where Severus was until the end-- it was unclear to me that he was reflecting nearly the entire chapter. So much of his movement on different days going to visit her was described in what I read intuitively as present tense. It's unclear to me how many days he was reminiscing on, etc. It feels like more than one, unless he was visiting her multiple times in one day? He thinks about different visits to her...I don't have a recommendation for you as to how to make it more clear, but perhaps you'll think of something.
I appreciate how fast you update, it's wonderful to unwind at the end of the day with a fresh chapter :) Author's Response: Okay, here is the timeline of Chapter 17: 1) We start in the past perfect tense, going back a little in time with Severus' POV of the scene in which he holds Hermione's hands and is almost caught by Madam Pomfrey. 2) We catch up with the present, in which Severus goes to his office and watches his memories yet again, “for the tenth time since the day before”. 3) Still in the present, Severus tells Fawkes to watch Hermione and goes to Spinner's End. 4) We go back even farther and return to the past perfect tense - “it had all started the day before” - as Severus reviews the day, revealing how he came to realize the prophecy might be about Hermione, and why he acted so strangely when Hermione complimented his abilities and said she trusted him that night. So, he spends the entire time at Spinner's End recounting the day before, his dream that night, and him waking (before the hand-holding scene, so now full circle) 5) We return to the present when Fawkes arrives at Spinner's End and breaks Severus out of his thoughts. TL;DR: I'm okay with the timeline in this chapter being a little confusing, because most of the chapter is happening in Snape's head, and he is in sort of a feverish state of shock at the moment. He is not experiencing his present surroundings because he is so caught up in his thoughts. His mind replays everything that's happened since he realized the prophecy might be about Hermione (when she told him she had only accidentally saved him). So we go all the way back to Hermione's confession and cover everything from Snape's POV since then, just not in a strictly linear way. I hope that helps! | |||
| Orangika_Snape | 2015.07.14 - 01:59PM | 16: The Confession | Signed |
| Really enjoying the progress of this story! More updates soon, I hope? :-) Author's Response: Just waiting for the latest chapter to be approved. I always have one in the queue! | |||
| MlleGigi | 2015.07.10 - 03:52PM | 15: The Recovery | Signed |
| I don't really understand who is writing the stories in the Prophet or what purpose they serve...but I realized that the reason why the image of the rose and the briar seems so familiar is because it's from the old poem/song "Barbara Allen." Author's Response: | |||
| pickles | 2015.07.10 - 01:21PM | 16: The Confession | Signed |
| Yea so happy to be caught up.
Did not realize how far behind I got.
I like the DP stories.
Wonder if the poem will have a flicker of something to help them solve Hermione's problem..
thank you for the wonderful updates. Author's Response: :-D | |||
| lovesev | 2015.07.09 - 06:40AM | 15: The Recovery | Signed |
| Great story!! Just came across it and I can't wait for the next chapter. Please update soon. Author's Response: Thanks! I am updating as quickly as I can get chapters through the queue - they are all written and edited at this point for the first book. | |||
| bubbles28 | 2015.07.06 - 10:50PM | 14: The Connection | Signed |
| I appreciate how regularly you are updating! Author's Response: Thanks! It is already complete, so it should all get posted quickly. | |||
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