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Reviews for Amidst Bedlam

goonergirl2008.06.02 - 01:38PM1: A Stitch in TimeSigned
I have just caught up with this story - lots of nice subplots going on and Ron being portrayed a little more kindly than usual. Brings back the memories of couple of school crushes!

Rosmerta2008.05.23 - 01:05AM8: Chapter Eight: But he Smiles like a ReptileSigned
Whew - there's a cliffie! I can just imagine Severus finding our little hideaway ... with or without Lucius in the room. Yikes! I'm really enjoying your story. Just got caught up with several chapters and I'm looking forward to MORE.

Author's Response: Thanks for the response! I'm working on the next chapter.

lipa2008.05.20 - 11:28PM8: Chapter Eight: But he Smiles like a ReptileSigned
This is an exceptionally well written and interesting story. I've just read it for the second time and I really hope that you will continue writing it now that you are back at it.

Author's Response: Thanks, you're too kind! I felt a bit lost for a while in terms of the story's direction, but now I feel back on track. I'm working on the next chapter- thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review.

3mmeline2008.05.20 - 07:34PM8: Chapter Eight: But he Smiles like a ReptileSigned
You have a wonderful, engaging writing style. Every word carries its weight. The plot here is intriguing, the characters are interesting, and it's delectable to read.

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I really appreciate your feedback, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Darque Hart2007.12.27 - 01:41PM7: Run for the ShadowsSigned
I see you haven't made any comments to others who brought up this subject. I, too, found it VERY surprising that all of a sudden Professor Snape is engaging Hermione in such a way and she doesn't say or do anything! Severus could be explained away by being a rude, nasty Death Eater... but it makes Hermione seem like some sort of slut that just gives 'it' away. She just sits and accepts the most intimate of ministrations from him like she is used to spreading her legs. * It's the abruptness of it. No building up to something intimate, no reaction from Hermione, not even an inquiring glance from Snape to see if she is going to scream bloody murder or scream his name in ecstacy, of which she does neither. The thing of it is that it is NOT intimate. It's just done, with no preamble, casually, no romantic intent. Twice now he has just taken liberties with her person and apparently what he has learned is that if you want to cop a feel, see Granger. Charming.

Author's Response: Thanks for the catch on Lee- lack of attention on my part! I agree with the concerns about the time jump in this last chapter, and it's something I'm working to amend with a bit of revision. I'm sorry that you found the chapter titles and numbering confusing- I'll go back and try to straighten that out. As for your concern that I've characterized Hermione as loose, although I appreciate your review a great deal, I fail to see how your reading of Hermione's character in this story functions as constructive criticism.

Darque Hart2007.12.27 - 11:43AM6: Never Let Me DownSigned
Again, still liking the story, but... you wrote that 'Lee’s voice was lost in the thunder of shouts and applause from the winning house. ' Lee graduated when 'the trio' were in their 5th year.

Darque Hart2007.12.27 - 11:10AM1: A Stitch in TimeSigned
Dear Author- Your chapter numberings and titles are totally screwed up. * Ch. 1 is listed as "A Stitch in Time" AND as "Changes". * Ch. 5 you've got listed as "Changes" AND as Chapter 4 "Changes". * Ch. 6 is also posted as Ch. 4, with both under the title "Never Let Me Down". * Ch. 7 is posted as "Run for the Shadows" AND as Ch. 5 under the title of "Just You Shut Your Mouth" * I'm actually liking the story, but wonder if there are chapters missing or what's going on with all the double titles and mis-numberings! Might you check it out and make it more sensible? I'd really hate to miss anything now that I've started reading it! Especially after reading Ch. 5 - Changes ... or was it Ch 4 Changes ... surely it wasn't Ch. 1 Changes!!

orm irian2007.12.23 - 11:38AM7: Run for the ShadowsSigned
Your story was progressing nicely, than this chapter came along... Hermione is yelling at Snape, then, out of nowhere and with absolutely no preface, he's going down on her? Sorry, but that's nonsensical. The large time jumps that follow were also disorienting.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I did try and create a buildup of sexual tension between the two characters, but perhaps I failed there. I didn't intend for their sexual encounter to be romantic, really, so perhaps it felt abrupt in that it wasn't proceeded by shared feelings, expressed desires, etc.? Yes, that big time jump is a problem. It seemed like a good idea at the time (wince), but I can see now that it's not satisfying to read. I'm working to revise...

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