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| Merry Grace | 2008.11.17 - 08:07PM | 13: Chapter Eleven - Of Providence, Foreknowledge, Will, and Fate (Part 2) | Signed |
| I'm going to be completely honest: the Lavender and Harry scene made me want to vomit. I don't know if that was your goal...Harry was just so OOC. I am still enjoying the story, but I feel like Severus and Hermione don't really have a reason to be interested in each other so far. I felt like your build up of their relationship was a little lacking. For instance, you never let us know what Severus felt during the period when Hermione was following him. Basically I feel like the reader is unprepared for them to take so personal an interest in each other so suddenly.
I hope that makes sense and is useful for you. I hate criticizing, but I don't do it unless I feel the story merits it. And again, I am enjoying the story. :) Author's Response: I'm excited you're enjoying it! The same reservations you have in this story are the very ones I have heard before in reviews at this archive and a few others. I can certainly see the inconsistencies. Hopefully my next story will flow better. Anyway, the Next chapter finally complete and being edited as we speak. Thanks for the read and review! | |||
| edgebunny | 2008.11.12 - 01:38PM | 30: Chapter Twenty Six - The Hell Within Him | Signed |
| pleeeeeaaaasseeee update.
i feel like i'm in purgatory or something. Author's Response: Sorry! Next chapter finally done. Once it's beta'ed it'll be up! | |||
| borednow | 2008.10.22 - 06:41PM | 30: Chapter Twenty Six - The Hell Within Him | Signed |
| I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I must sadly inform you that your time is up. You have to hand over the next chapter now or else you will never see your.... erm... or else something bad will happen. How's that for motivation? Author's Response: :Sigh: My time was up, wasn't it? Sorry for the long wait. But it's done and being corrected! Thanks for the review! | |||
| Gwarthy | 2008.10.12 - 12:24PM | 30: Chapter Twenty Six - The Hell Within Him | Signed |
| Hi, Lissa!
I've been obsessively reading your story for a past few days. It's thrilling and exciting at the same time. I am really stuck to an idea of Sirius having a mad crush on Hermione. Probably it is even a canon. Well, some hints were placed in books. And poor Hermione as she is squeezed between two kinds of relationship. I see why she chooses Snape though. (Lol! Snape is the most thrilling man of all the characters I think. I love watching him.. in the distance XD )
Oh, and now we come to our favourite Professor. He is so canon and yet far more believable. His temper and habbits seem really fit as he constantly lives in such tension. And that alcohol thing.. well, I admire Hermione's corrage and stubborness.
Hermione.. to be honest sometimes i despise her for acting such submissively. But then again I understand that with such man as Snape there's no other way to behave. And yet he changes! That is absolutely moving. I've almost cried as I had seen his attachment towards certain girl.
Oh, this has been a long review but, sorry for this. I've been overhelmed by emotions. I'm anxiously waiting for continuation of the story. And I hope (I plea!! ^^ ) for it to have a happy ending. They deserve it. Peacefull existence after all. But.. teeehee SS/HG - peacefull? XD
Thank you for your wonderfull story!! Love all of this, Lissa!!
P.S. Lavender is a slut but I can see her motives.
P.P.S. Remus/Pansy thing is unusual but still they fit each other.
P.P.P.S. have I already told that I'm eager to read new chapter-chapters-aahhh. ^__^
see yaa) Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! I know the next update is very late in coming, but the chapter is complete and will be posted as soon as my mistakes are corrected. This Hermione has been tough for some to swallow (which is very understandable) but the way I imagine it is that it's almost impossible to have an equal relationship if one person has authority over the other (i.e teacher/student)... and I get a sick satisfaction from writing it. haha. Glad you are enjoying it so far! | |||
| Dizzywitch76 | 2008.09.21 - 05:16AM | 30: Chapter Twenty Six - The Hell Within Him | Signed |
| Right, ok not exactly a review for just this chapter because i made the mistake of thinking that could just read a few chapters of this story and then put it down till some time later, boy was i wrong!! LOL!! i did the whole thing so far in one sitting. my family thinks that i hate them all includeing my kids as all they have had off me for the last day or so is grunts and the occasional "go away". my other said that he hasnt seen me like this sincei came accross "but you alone" and that was quite some time ago.
I honestly dont know where to start with the praise i like the fact that your hermione does not want to be the damsel in distress yet still finds herself yeilding to her desire to feel truly femine and when i say that i mean allowing herself to be vunurable and almost swallowed by a completely male pressence, yet she is keeping her mind on the big picture (well most of the time) like the hermione we all know and love.
I have to say what a truly male pressence your severus is, all the things a reader could want him to be includeing being in self denial, i really loved the "my hermione" rationalisation, you keep going down that road my man it leads to a deep and cool river called "de nile", sorry bad joke couldnt help myself.
The means with which you have brought sirius back is probably the most inventive i have read, my other favorite sirius returning fic is "The Summoning". It gives me chills every time he enter the pit. Iam slightly confused by how things are going to work for him and also why he is having such problems with the watch winding. If i have this right in my mind his soul is in the watch, and the watch must be wound every 12 hours to keep soul and body conected and therfore sirius alive? I find myself like hermione wondering why dumbledore and snape are so disgusted by his pressence. I also do not understand how making a horcrux would help as that rips the soul in to more pieces not reattaches them to the body. i guess i will just have to wait like everyone else to find out how your brilliant and twisted mind will make this play out.
Your dumbledore by turns makes me furious and sad. As usual playing with people like they are pieces on a game board and then lamenting the loss of time. i am not sure if i will be sad when the time comes for him to die. I also very much enjoy the enigmatic conversations with godric, i can just picture him in his frame thundering out his pronouncements.
I have to say i did NOT see Remus and Pansy coming, call me blind but that one went straight past my head till you flat out said their names and then i was like "OMG!!!". But the way you write them together is just wonderful. I love the fact that Remus is confronting his demons, Well demon in the form of greyback. I was so shocked by the scene where dumbledore refused to help that poor boy John, i just hope that Remus doesnt loose himself in trying to save others.
Ron is just Ron i swing from enjoying fics where there is ron bashing to one's like yours where he is just so much himself as we know him that things wouldnt seem right if he wasnt there.
Ginny is right on the money. I don't think that she would have sat around moping for harry when he ended things between them. I feel that she would have tried to enjoy her life as much as possible waiting for him to come back. i dont feel that makes her a bad person, i think it makes her honest and open. i love the fact that she is now fighting back, good punch my girl, growing up in a family with just boys will teach you how to throw one well i should know i have 6 brothers, lol!!
Harry is annoying the hell out of me!!not just with the lavender situation which he is being blind about (glad you built his get of jail free card in already or i would be really worried). but in general i dont really like fics whe he is always moping about and flashing sadness to anger i know he has every right to but they kind of wear on me. I hope the insight that is building will give him enough clarity to see him through.
Lavender is annoying me as she is supposed to i guessing. I hate girls like that i have two boys one is 12 and the other is 17 months and believe me there is nothing easy about having baby to secure your future and as for passing one persons baby off asanothers, there is nothing more dispicabale, lets hope someone teaches harry how to use a calender. i hope she gets her just deserts soon.
god i just looked at how much i have wrote and i havent even started on how original i think your main premise is the idea of a balance is brillliant, so simple yet also as we have seen so complex. I am not sure if i have missed any clues but i cant for the life of me work out who is the next dark lord, the only person that i am leaning towards is blaise, he is clearly at odds with both sides of the current conflict but does not have any problems per sae using the dark arts for his own purposes. I am probably way off the mark there anyway, lol!!
Incase you have got it yet i love your fic and am waiting with baited breath for the next update, please make it soon.
with much love and appreication
Becky XXXX
Author's Response: Sweet potato pie! What a review! Firstly, I must apologize for the LONG delay with the next chapter. But it is complete and will be posted as soon as it's corrected by my beta. I loved your analysis on all these characters, and so far your questions are very valid ones which will be answered in future chapters. And, most importantly, it's very exciting to hear that you are enjoying the way I am writing Snape. He is the sole reason I even attempted this story. Thank you for the continuous reads and incredible review! | |||
| Simplybloved | 2008.09.20 - 04:58PM | 30: Chapter Twenty Six - The Hell Within Him | Signed |
| Oh how I love your story. Lovely update. Author's Response: Thank you! Next chapter is being beta'd so an update is on its way! | |||
| verasuspense | 2008.09.17 - 09:36PM | 27: Chapter Twenty Three - Those Thoughts That Wander Through Eternity | Signed |
| I don't suppose Dumbledore ever apologized to Severus for not believing him back in fifth year. Author's Response: Author's Response: Ohhh! Good question... we'll just have to see... | |||
| verasuspense | 2008.09.17 - 07:45PM | 21: Chapter Eighteen - Of What He Was, What Is, and What Must be Worse. | Signed |
| So, once again, Dumbledore thinks he knows who the next Dark Lord will be. He was wrong once; what if he's wrong again? Author's Response: He just might be wrong again... or he might finally have it all figured it out. Thanks for the review! | |||
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