I have to say that although this version is far more polished, I liked your style the first time round. It was refreshingly different and honest, and more stream of consciousness. Of course I'll give this version a shot.
Your last chap before you took down the story was a difficult read, and left quite a cliffhanger. I was really wondering where you going, and was looking forward to the next chap. If you find yourself needing to rewrite or redirect the plot, I think your readers will go along with you. Thank you for an intelligent story. |