|I would like to say that I understand that you are very young. The story you are writing is one that has been done several times before - in several incarnations. To bring it to it's full fruition, I would suggest that you work in some new quirk that is unique to your story.
Please do not think of this a flame. I want to see anyone who wishes to write, do so well. I wonder, though, if you are not perhaps trying to write too far above your experience and maturity level.|