|Didn't like this story at all for the following reasons:
1: This plotline is very overused, and you didn't add anything special to make it interesting.
2: The song doesn't really add anything, and it's a bit awkwardly placed. I say scrap it completely and change the title.
3: I don't understand this sentence...
"overly large breasts for the same reason."
How does hunching over for long periods of time make your breasts bigger at 23 years old? I think you have a misunderstanding of basic female anatomy.
4: Hermione is far too whiny and needy, and Severus is annoying and mean and not appealing at all! (This coming from a HUGE Snape fan.)
The concept might have been alright if you'd had any skill. Sorry if that's harsh, but that's what I think.|