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ChloeWeird2010.08.21 - 01:59PM1: Signed
Didn't like this story at all for the following reasons: 1: This plotline is very overused, and you didn't add anything special to make it interesting. 2: The song doesn't really add anything, and it's a bit awkwardly placed. I say scrap it completely and change the title. 3: I don't understand this sentence... "overly large breasts for the same reason." How does hunching over for long periods of time make your breasts bigger at 23 years old? I think you have a misunderstanding of basic female anatomy. 4: Hermione is far too whiny and needy, and Severus is annoying and mean and not appealing at all! (This coming from a HUGE Snape fan.) The concept might have been alright if you'd had any skill. Sorry if that's harsh, but that's what I think.

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Ashwinder
A Severus Snape/Hermione Granger archive in the Harry Potter universe

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